Don’t ya just hate it when… You’re in the middle of a great mushroom trip; you’re listening to tunes, as high as hell, expecting aliens to drop out of the sky at any minute. Anyway you’re way into tunes, into the upper echelons of the machine that turns out the tunes, in fact you are nearly god-like, I mean, you are a god!!! Oh yeah, anyway so you are now a god, except for this physical body. So you’re a god stuck in a physical body, no wait, you are GOD himself. You have finally figured out that this whole life-thing is probably just a big test, for you, GOD, (what’s that song? “What if God was one of us” that was written for this moment) to determine if the human race is worthy of life. So in the ultimate sacrifice, you go up to one of your best friends and ask him if he wanted to butt-fuck you. This act would tear the very fabric off of this physical world and open you, GOD, to the eternal light. It would also be a nice gesture to your friend, as he would serve a purpose in this historic event, but maybe he isn’t the one. What if he isn’t the chosen one? Well if he is the one, then he will accept, right? He appreciates the gesture, but politely declines. Now where did you get the idea that having your anus drilled will immortalize you? You have always been straight, right? Anyway, why did you think this was going to change things? Oh, yeah, it’s for the mortals, this would open up heaven to them….
What the fuck? Where did this come from? You keep coming back to the simple fact that you are…GOD. That if you don’t go through with this act then the world, as we know it will come to an end when you die. Think of the lives that will end. You are GOD and you will have failed in your quest to open up the gates of eternity to all of the simple people. If they even exist. Maybe they are just figments of your imagination, placed here to maintain the veil of illusion. There is nothing to worry about, except that being GOD is a hell of a responsibility. Oh well you have tried to save the world, you can be perfectly happy living this life as a mortal. It’s just that when you wake up the next day, you’re wondering, “What the hell was I thinking last night”. How can you face your buddies today?