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A Light in the Dark
First off a little background... the first drug I tried was weed, I was 16 and I loved it. I started doing it with my friends over the weekend, and
eventually we found our way to other drugs. I was 18 the first time I tried a psychedelic, and that year we did shrooms, acid, x, anything we could get
our hands on really. This past year I started growing shrooms - sources around here were drying up, and I didn't want to lose my favorite drug.
Now to the trip...
After harvesting my first batch, I had a shitload, so I decided to dose what is an unusually large amount for me. They were fresh, and I had read that
they are about 90 percent water when fresh, so I ate about 70 grams. Most of my close friends were at distant colleges at the time, and I don't like
tripping with people I don't know very well, so I decided to trip alone. I've done it a few times before, so I felt i was probably ready for it. My
parents were out of town, so I decided go out to their house for the weekend. They live out in the boonies, about 30 mins from the city I live in. I
spent the day on Saturday just chillin at the house, watchin movies(Fear and Loathing to set the mood), smokin some reefer, exploring the countryside on
the ATV, just havin a good time. The days were getting longer, so I decided to eat my shrooms with dinner at about 7PM... I figured I would start
tripping just as the sun was going down, something I always like doing.
So at 7PM - I down the shrooms with a light dinner - salad and pasta.
7:30PM - The sun begins to set. I go out onto the back porch to watch. By this time the characteristic "launching" feelings of a psychedelic trip are
taking over. I feel a little light headed, anxious, giggly... an overall sense of great anticipation. The changing colors in the sky are so
beautiful... everything around me is intensifying. The horizon, the treeline in the distance, the neighing of the horses... everything is clarifying
and magnifying to such an intense degree. I knew I was beginning to really trip, and I decided I wanted to be out in nature rather than inside. I walked
over to the shed and rode out on the ATV. I had found the perfect spot earlier, a little ways off into the woods on a rock jutting out into a creek.
~8PM (I wasn't wearing a watch, so all times will now be approximate guesses) - It was dark now, so I turned the headlights on. I was going full speed
down a well-beaten path, and the trees in front of me started waving back and forth as though they were alive, sticking their limbs out in front of me
attempting to knock me off. The headlights were casting menacing shadows, and they began dancing on the ground, morphing into unbelievable shapes and
figures. It took all of my concentration to stay on the trail; I was going as fast as the ATV would go, and the wind blowing through my hair felt
absolutely blissful. When i got near the spot, I slowed down and got off the ATV. The spot is on someone else's land, but I have no clue whose, so I
figured I'd better not ride all the way there. As I walked through the woods, I could feel the trees leaning and bending over me, and I could feel
their life force engulfing me. A light breeze was blowing, and the rustling of the leaves almost sounded like whispers, almost as if the trees were
talking to each other. I began to get a little paranoid - I kept hearing them whisper my name, and I kept turning around expecting to see someone, but
nobody was there. I eventually reached the spot - a flat rock sticking out into a small creek feeding from a nearby lake. I began gathering twigs and
dry leaves to make a fire.
~8:30PM - When I had the fire blazing pretty good, I took out a joint and lit up. As I watched the flames flicker, I began to see faces in the fire.
One would appear, laugh at me, and then morph into another face. I found this rather amusing, so I picked up a stick and poked the face in the nose,
and it stopped laughing and said "OW!!! What did you do that for?!" I told it to stop laughing at me, but it just kept on laughing. I stood up,
resolving to destroy the fire for its insolence, but as I stood I noticed my shadow was morphing all around. I turned to look at it, but it didn't move
with me! It started dancing, and I scratched my head and was like "WTF?" Then my shadow turned to me, and started scratching its head and jumping up
and down and making noises like a monkey. I laughed, and the face in the fire laughed, and my shadow laughed, and I started dancing with my shadow. We
swirled round and round the fire, laughing like maniacs, until I realized I was hallucinating, and that I must've looked like a complete lunatic. I
stopped dancing and looked around me to see if anyone was watching. As I looked out into the woods, I began to see faces in the trees. They were all
staring at me, hundreds of them surrounding me, unmoving and unblinking, just staring at me. I became extremely paranoid, and frightened that they were
going to kill me. A full blown panic attack engulfed my mind, and I lost all thought. I forgot where I was and even who I was, and afraid that the
faces would come and kill me, I took off sprinting down the creek. It was only about a foot deep, but the bottom was rocky and slippery, and I fell a
few times. Up ahead i saw an opening in the treeline, and in a mad dash I burst out into a large clearing. In the center of the clearing was a large
pond, almost a lake. I ran to the edge of the lake, and fell to my knees on the sandy shore, reaching my hands up to the heavens, thanking God for
saving me from an almost certain death. I was completely soaked, muddy, and a bit bruised and scratched, but I felt more alive than I ever had. I sunk
my chin onto my chest, catching my breath and taking a few moments to gather my wits. The panic had passed and a great sense of relief overcame me.
~9PM - As I raised my head and looked at the sky, I noticed the clarity and brilliance of the stars shining in the dark. One in particular was larger
than the rest, and as I watched, it slowly became bigger. Not only this, but it was moving as well. At first I thought it was probably a shooting star.
Soon it was so large, though, that I was convinced that it was not a star at all, but rather a light in the sky. It was clearly not part of the
starscape, and as it came closer, it distinguished itself into several different lights, one white in the middle with blue and red lights in a circle
surrounding it. It was moving at an incredible speed, and it was heading right for me. It dawned on me that I was witnessing a UFO, and I stared in
awe as it sweeped over the distant treeline. Its form took shape against the night sky, and it looked like so many flying saucer pictures
sensationalized by Hollywood. As it traveled over the lake, a shaft of brilliant white light shot down from the center of the craft. I stumbled
backwards a few feet from the sandy shore, but the light was upon me before I could react. It stopped a few feet in front of me, and hovered at the
edge of the lake for a few seconds. Then, a being materialized in the shaft of light. It was about 4 feet tall, and vaguely humanoid, but altogether
different from us. Its skin was grey, and entirely hairless. The head was oval, with no ears, a slit-like mouth, and large, black eyes. As I stared at
it in horror and wonder, it reached its hand up and pointed a long, spindly finger at me. A hollow buzzing filled my head, and then a voice spoke to me.
It came not from the creature's mouth, but rather from inside my own head. It said, "Be afraid, for you are now one of us." A thin beam of light shot
from the tip of its finger and struck me directly between my eyes. In a moment that seemed to stretch into eternity, a million realizations rushed
through my head. All of the mundane gameplay that we humans necessarily partake in melted away, and the Clear Light of the Truth revealed itself to me.
The infinite unconscious, the so called Mind At Large, overwhelmed me in its terrible beauty. I felt the molecules and atoms of my body twist and morph,
and as I looked down at my body, I watched it change into something altogether horrifyingly foreign. I had become that creature which had previously
seemed so strange and otherworldly to me. I looked up and watched the being dematerialize, the brilliant shaft of light disappear, and the UFO retreat
into the depths of space. I became terrified of the transformation that I had undergone, and in a state of panic I ran blindly through the forest for
what seemed like hours. Eventually, I found myself standing in the horse pasture behind my parent's house. I ran up to the back porch and burst through
the backdoor. It seemed like I had been gone for a lifetime since eating my mushroom dinner. Looking at the clock, I realized that what had seemed like
an eternity to me was actually only a few hours - it was only 10PM.
10PM to 12PM - I huddled in the corner, contemplating the transformation I had undergone. What would happen to me now? What did the future hold for
someone so entirely unhuman? How could I face my family and friends? But as the effects of the drug wore off, I began to feel more and more human. My
thought pattern gradually returned to normal, and I finally ventured a glance in the mirror. To my great relief, my appearance had returned to normal as
well. My trip through the doors of perception had finally come to an end, but the realizations that came to me at the moment of enlightenment have
forever changed me.