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My terrific first time
Good afternoon all,
Although I don't actually have the time for it, I'm writing my trip report for you to enjoy and for myself to finally try to put it in words.
One of my best mates, let's call him Bram, had done a little tripping some months ago and said I should definetely try it with him too if I felt like it. I thought it was exciting but didn't know for sure if I was up for it you know? I didn't want a half-assed trip but really something you could write home about, but that included some risks I wasn't sure I was willing to take. To cut a short story short: With the prospect of some free time coming up and the weather getting better (which affected my mood in a very positive way too) we made a deal to make a trip last Monday. He bought 5 portions of Hawaïian shrooms in one of the local headshops (believe it or not, they we're on sale. We used 3 portions and sold the rest to one of Brams hallmates) and invited another friend over, and we'll name her Lobke. She'd done some tripping with an ex boyfriend, so she knew what to expect, I was the true freshman.
Bram ate his portion of the shrooms and Lobke and I made some tea of our portions. Lobke didn't need much, so Bram and I split what was left of the tea. We settled in the comfy living room/kitchen of Bram's student flat (appropriately decorated with multicolored drapes and flags hanging from the ceiling) and started watching 'Being John Malkovich' to shorten the wait for the effects to kick in.
After about half an our, I started feeling a little queezy, and shortly after Lobke exclaimed: "I'm feeling like a fucking pudding!" after which Bram and I started laughing hysterically. We knew it had begun.
We stopped the movie because it was too distressing, or at least to me, and put on MTV. Robbie Williams looked hysterical, so did the girls he was dancing with, his overtly dramatic facial expressions we're disturbingly superficial and therefor very funny. We quickly switched to Comedy Central, That 70's Show. The picture now clearly started to warp (notice how fast the effects kicked in? We're just 3 minutes away from the first lauging bout!) Fezz looked incredibly fat, the scenes had an enormous amount of depth, looked pretty much 3d, colourful. We had an argument over wether the screen was warping, or the tv was broke [the next morning, both appeared to be true). The TV was getting excessively silly and we turned it off.
Visuals, depersonlization, cuddling, the whole nine yards
I felt slightly uneasy by the speed at which everything was happening, and when things in the room at the perimeters of my visual field started to move/bend by themselves, I decided to stand up and take a walk around the house. I figured it would just hit me all too hard and unpredictable if I kept laying down on the couch like Bram and Lop. Moving around did feel good and sorta eased me into the experience. The others we're amazed at my physical strength (both feeling like pudding now) but I loved standing upright. At that point I started feeling like Van Bitsbergen, a fictional character from a series of sketches by Dutch comedy group 'Jiskefet'; he's a real corporal student, doing nothing but drinking and fucking but being very eloquent about it. My voice seemed to resemble his, as did my posture. At this point too, the room started becoming a very discrete place in space and time. The small milky windows we're like the glass of an aquarium, the edges we're shining, the colours of the entire room we're very rich and contrasted, shadows we're deepened, the furniture and things on the table seemed to be placed there in a certain composition, I could clearly notice myself alienating from the 'normal' world.
I went into the hallway, where the doors to about 8 student rooms we're. The hallway was bright yellow, the doors purple. After just standing there for some seconds, the doors became shorter and longer, alternating between a short door facing a longer one. The poster for Schweppes Indian Tonic at the end of the hall was bubbling like lemonade, curls in the poster rolled in on itself.
Back in the kitchen, Bram and Lobke we're enjoying themselves with a conversation and they looked very ugly, like trolls or goblins or something. After a few minutes I just accepted that my friends would look like deformed fairy-tail characters for the comming hours. Their faces kept warping throughout the trip. I had to tell them about the things I saw in the hallway, I felt like a child in a playground through most of the experience onwards. I sat on the couch next to Lobke (Though we don't see eachother much these days, she was the girl I first fell in love with, when i was 15, which is 5 years ago, so it felt good to have her with me in the trip.). She laid back on the couch, stretching her legs over my lap. Bram was laying back on the other, adjacent couch. Both Bram and Lop seemed several meters long, and so did my legs. When I stretched my arm to get some water from the table, it became strikingly long, out of nothing. The coloured drapes and flags seemed to be comfourtably moving in some breeze overhead, the ceiling was low, some flies or moths we're buzzing around the room (I caught one of those flies when coming from the hallway, only to conclude that, although I held it in my hand, it was not real). The air was hot and heavy with moisture, spiderwebs and plants hung from the walls, the place was like a jungle. The refrigerator made clicking and zooming noizes, which sounded like insects and wildlife. Everything moved and breath.
I too really felt like a pudding, very laidback, enjoying the ride. We talked about what we saw, what we experienced, going from one subject into the next very fast without using much words. We talked about the relationship the three of us had together and this was the point we're I started experiencing depersonalization, or 'ego death'. We agreed we we're a single person, cut into three parts and put into this room, had actually always been. The structure of the world, the ways of interpersonal interaction and the structure of the universe seemed to dawn upon me, but partly because the world seemed to be compressed into the living room. Outside we're strange things, sober people. We we're alone and tripping in the room, and the room was tripping with us. If another person would have entered the room, it would have been treated like an object, a toy for our amusement and experimentation. These realizations of feelings, of mentally being very diluted and focussed at the same time, experiencing yourself and the world in a completely different, out of world-fascion, made the most striking impression on me. Very emotional, intellectual etc. Lobke called me a control freak because I just HAD to 'analyze' the experience, but that's just what I do, I'm a curious guy, I need to have an explanation for things, I can't stand not understanding something (childish eh?), but this experience felt highly liberating, I can't emphasize that enough.
We got even further into the trip, with a little more visuals (edging on a 'lv. 4' trip I guess). I didn't know what was real and what not of the things I saw. Walking to the hallway was a journey around the world, undertaking it with both my friends was really nice, very cool, we felt very safe together. Bram wandered outside of the hallway to check what it was that was laying inside the corridor leading outside (I thought it was a pair of shoes, but is was just some litter). I held the door open, eagerly waiting his return and facilitating his entry back into the hallway, Lobke was worridly calling for him not to go to far and not to harm himself while outside.
Cigarette smoke looked beautiful, with coloured edges, creeping over incredible distances through the room and around us. Cigarettes seemed to get longer and shorter while holding them in your mouth. Lop's cigarette floated in front of her face, the reflections in her glasses we're very clear, but warped. We ate some potato chips, which created the most magnificent explosion of salt and texture in my mouth, unbelievable. While taking a wiz, the toilet-bowl grew and shrunk, and so did my penis (which gave me moments of joy, but also of sorrow, seeing it grow and shrink in succession. lol.) The bathroom was littered with spiderwebs tangling in a breeze. My face in the mirror looked plastically, funny, beautiful and ugly at the same time. Facial expressions drooped my entire face. The faces of my friends seemed to be made of Play Dough, and I was kneading Bram's face to desired dimensions and features, I did the same with Lop's hair. When bram smiled, his grin spread across his entire head, his eyes bulging out of his narrowed sockets. A guy entered the hallway with a cabinet on his shoulder (at 2.00am), doors of the cabinet flapping about, me gibbering to him, his eye falling out, me retreating to the kitchen again. I knew my mind was Swiss cheese then, hard to report from those moments, wasn't capable of contact with non-trippers at that time, that much I know. We physically melted into the room and mentally into each other, that's the only reasonable description.
When I felt a little calmer, saner, Bram and I went outside to get some more cigarettes at a nearby gas station. We had lit but not actively smoked a packet of cigarettes because it looked so beautiful. Outside I felt more sober, but colours still looked nicer, and Bram couldn't distinguish between boys or girls on the street, which was quite funny. Bram wore his monkey suit, because we thought it would be funny. To cut a long story short, we got home, Lobke was lying on a mattress on the floor, feeling well, eating chips. We gave her her cigarettes, we all lit a final one. Watched 2 vids on youtube, put on some dubstep, turned the lights of and crawled in bed, still talking a bit. We got sober at the same speed as we got into the trip. It was a pretty hefty trip for all three of us, although it only lasted for about 3 hours (we consumed our portions on a completely empty stomach, maybe that's why it was such a compact and dense trip). Some trouble getting to sleep.
I got up after about 6 hours of sleep, and wanted to examine the kitchen, which had seemed such an otherworldly place the night before. It was completely normal. I cleaned a little bit, got back to Brams room where Bram and Lop we're waking up, we had breakfast with some of Brams hallmates, discussed the trip a little of course. I tried to fathom what it had all meant, am still trying I must say. I felt exhalerated by the experience, and we all felt closer together, really like a bunch of hippies! Ha!
We went outside to enjoy the cool morning air, smoke a last cigarette, clean the room out and all went off. (I don't smoke normally, but this was an appropriate occasion)
It's a very abrupt and completely unprepared/unstructured telling of what happened that night, I know, but I'll write an even longer and better structured report for myself in some time I think. I emphasized the visual part of the experience here, but I must say again that the emotional and mental part of the trip was more far reaching and for more impressive to me! It's just very hard to put that into words, impossible actually, there are no words for that, believe me. But I don't have to tell you guys that.
Hope you enjoyed, and please, do leave a comment!