Before last night I truthfully thought I could handle anything and no matter how fucked up the world got I could handle it. So my friends kept telling me to get some mushrooms because of how amazing it is to trip. So I took their advice and tried to find some. Low and behold after 6 months of searching I found some. So I got them and took them in my friends car at around 7 pm and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All my friends gave me the best advice they could and told me I was fucking up by taking them before such a "what would be" crazy party but my brain felt callussed and didnt pay attention to them cuz I mean 'hey everyone reacts to em differently maybe this will be a good time.'
So about a half hour after taking them I just felt like I smoked a bunch of pot nothing really to amazing. 45 minutes went by and shit started to change gradually. 1 hr in I started my what people would call a trip. This whole time I was riding in a car (not a good idea). Anyway we stop at a gas station as I started to trip hard and all I could think of is man i need ta find a toilet I need to shit. So I go in the bathroom and came right back out. The room appeared to be to small so I went back out to my friends car and as I walked out of the gas station I saw cops and went straight to my friends car. My best friend was the driver was my supposed to be Baby sitter but once I got in I looked at him and completely knew shit was going down hill all I could see were patterns and colors and shadow and I felt my mind expanding. At that point I had literally no idea what was going on so much to where I made my friend pull over and I got out of the car and shit on the side of the road just as a cop rolled by.
We went back to the gas station at which point I was completely tripped out and sat in their bathroom for a while only to notice how fuckin trippy the dog paintings they had were. I sat there and looked back and forth between them. One was a proud looking golden lab and the other a black lab and the black lab was crazy I've never understood Pink Floyd lyrics until I saw that picture. Finally I go outside and I see all my close friends and that was when my mind started thinking and the vibe was good. Everyone saw I was going through hell and tried to make life seem better but I was so far into my own world all I could do was hug people and try to keep myself from losing my mind.
We finally leave (after several more trips into the bathroom) and get to my friends cabin in the middle of no where and that is where I finally got a comprehension of life and understanding. I stood outside by myself and felt my spirit rise and become completely in sync with Nature and the surroundings around me. I wandered ofcourse and did alot of deep thinking and put my life into perspective. I realized I was done smoking Cigarettes because all I could taste when I smoked them was manufactured poison and realized it just wasnt for me (I was a pack a day smoker for 5 years and mushrooms got me to quit smoking). I found a ride back to my house because all I really wanted was my family and the sense of unity I felt by being in the same household as them. I get home and expose myself to the elements of the Earth I showered, stole a cigarette from my mom and pulled the filter off and let my body dry off by the Cool Wisconsin midnight cold and I never felt more content with the journey I just undertook. After that I laid in my bed and meditated until I made the decision of going to sleep.
The night was hell as my Anxiety was the main cause of my bad trip. I learned alot about myself and alot about the world we live in. My trip was Proof that a "bad" trip is the best one because without the chaos I could have never expierienced peace.