bigger than myself

The first time i tripped mushrooms i drank too much beer and smoked to much marijuana to do nothing but be fucked up the whole time. The only thing i could think about was how shitty I felt and how bad I wanted it to be over.

The second time i tripped was with my roomate and her boyfriend after thanksgiving. I took 3 grams on peanut butter and crackers. They didn't taste that bad and within 20 minutes i started feeling real funny. I looked down at the carped and it looked like white and yellow highlither type wavy lines all over the place. We decided to go room to room because watching harry potter wasn't doing it for us anymore. As soon as we sat in my room, everything in my vision turned a shade of orange/red. It was weird because as soon as it happened to me, my roomate said she saw the exact same thing. I have a sweet ass poster of the inside of a rose in my room and i stared at it for a while. before my vision, there was like an oily film with a very shinny circle in the middle. it looked like the sun and all i wanted to do was look at it. my roomate told me to look at the ceiling and my jaw immidiately dropped. the ceiling was really close so i laid down on the groud and just stared. for what seemed hours i stared at layers of different colors of what looked like oily films passing by each other.

We decided to load a bowl. (amazing idea) and went back to my room. I felt really good energy from my room and felt very comofortable there. we sat in a circle and turned on some black lights. we decided to pop in an enya cd we found. it was very trippy music to listen to but definetly added to the ambiance.  i have a huge johnny depp poster playing the piano which played the keys along to whatever song we were listening to. i also had a bouquet of flowers that glowed a beautiful shade of flurencent orange and everything added together made me feel like i was in a jungle. but not a jungle jungle...like the big mushrooms popping up everywhere, everythings humid and dark jungle like in alice in wonderland. Smoking definetly improved my trip by a huge percent. Immidiately i was laughing and coming up with crazy shit in my mind. at some point i wasn't even sure what reality was and if i was even talking or just thinking in my mind. i would look at the door and realize how huge the world is outside of my own room. Everything going on through my mind was so much more thoughtful than anything i had ever even pondered. I also had a huge realization that my spirit and my mind are both greater than my physical self and that my body was just what carried me daily. i felt like a creature...like an inferior to what my spirit and my mind can truly be. the boyfriend said he felt completely at peace and after he said that i realized that i did too. nothing could have been wrong at that moment and everything was great. i thought marriage and pregnancy and how much i don't want to have kids at this age. i thought about family and about how the reproductive world works. My grqandparents were in town and it made me feel like shit cause i hadn't gone to see them and it made me really appareciate my family. the enya music didn't help and my heavy flow of thoughts and emotions made me start crying. i wasn't sad or anything but i really tripped because there were tears running down my face for no reason. we decided to change the music to some rap. at the beginning of one of the songs i closed my eyes and rocked to the beat. i could imagine myself being there with the band that was playing the song. we were drinking champagne at the club dancing until i opened my eyes and brought myself back to reality.

i then decided to lay on my oh so comfortable bed and look around my room. the pictures and the faces of my family and friends tripped me out beacuse these were the people that made my life possible and made my life worth living. i became completely greatful for everyone who has ever come in contact with me and has put a smile on my face. thoughts of life and thigns i wanted to do flowed through my mind. my sense of being and how i wanted to go talk to my grandparents the next day. we watched some you tube and went downstairs. the black lights downstairs were trippy as hell. we had a huge purple/green lizard (i swear he changed colors everytime i looked at him) and the underside of the fake plant tree leaves glowed white. it was a pretty sweet setting we had going. we watched tv and decided that our trip had lasted well over 5 hours. the comedown was sweet with more crazy thoughts, funny conversations and just staring off into space.

the next morning i felt like i had been gone on a trip for a while week. i felt like i hadn't talked to my friends or family in a long time and wanted to talk to everyone an d tell them i loved them. i also wanted to shout to the world to go eat mushrooms because it was far beyond anything i could've expected. i wish everyone could have thought the way i thought and felt and seen the thigns i had thought and seen. it was an amazing trip and def made me think about some crazy things within myself. i opened the gates of my mind that night and hopefully this will help me in future decisions in life and tomorrow night.......when i'll be tripping again!