I woke up to my mother wishing me a good weekend, she and my father would be leaving town till monday. What a sweet way to start the day. It was noon.
I went down stairs and was immediately greeted by "Hey, got any shrooms?"
In fact, I did. Home grown cubes I'd been raising myself. "Why?" I asked. "Why do you think?" L answered with a grin.
Then I sat down and dumped my shrooms on the dining room table. It seemed like alot.
We had no money to buy one so we called around to see if anyone could lend us a scale. No luck. I guessed based upon my last dose of 2 grams that I probably had around six or seven grams total. Then again it could have easily been eight or nine.
We decided not to worry about it and each ate "some" shrooms sadwiched between two pieces of pizza. It was 1pm. I swear I couldn't taste them at all when I ate them this way, but I soon wished I hadn't eaten so much pizza with my dose.
We had planned to smoke a bowl right after we ate but I became so nausious that the smoke made me want to hurl. I decided that I would spend the next twenty minutes trying not to puke but that if I still felt this bad after that I would let myself vomit. L was experiancing similar effects and asked me for adivce. I told her my plan and let her know that if she puked now she probably wouldn't trip much. We set the egg timer.
I was sitting in an office chair concentrating on my breathing when the effects first started to take hold. I felt an energy flowing through my nervious sistem concentrating on my pelvis. There was no other way to describe it then orgasmic. I was staring at the carpet when I said "L, have you ever noticed that there is a pattern to this carpet?"
It used to be a plain brown carpet, now it was the coolest carpet I had ever seen. Fractle octagon shapes filled the floor. Each octagone was striped different shades of yellow, black and brown in concentric circles. Liz came in from her room and said "yea...."
The phone rang.
I looked at L and she looked at me, we were deciding what to do. She decided to answer it.
It was Jamie and Mike. They had just heard we were not going to St. cloud. We told them we couldn't go, we'd already dosed but Jamie screamed "I'm coming over!" and hung up.
I was really starting to feel it now. When I held the wall to keep my balance it was soft instead of solid. I realized my entire world was really quite soft and unstable so I decided to sit down. When I sat down I found out that the ground was the exception to my soft universe, it was very very hard.
L decided it was time to smoke that bowl. I wouldn't let her smoke in the living room so we went down to the basement.
Our basement is over a hundred years old and unfinnished. I sat on the stairs and she sat on the exercize bike with the bowl. She smoked and smoked for what seemed a long time. I noticed that she was blowing smoke out in octagone shapes. He face took on the patern of the floral sheet that was hanging behind her. Her forarms and hands did too. I told her and she said I was totally different from her, that I was in a very dark space. I looked down and I didn't like the stairs I was sitting on, they were black and the darkness was seeping on to me. I left the basement when I heard a knock at the door.
When I walked through the kitchen I heard a "ding". "Oh my god" I thought. It's only been twenty minutes.
I had lost any desire to throw-up an eternity ago.
Jamie burst in the kitchen screaming "WERE GOING TO SAINT CLOUD, AND YOU'RE COMMING!" I told her I couldn't, I was shrooming but she said "Why not do both?" I thought it was a great idea and so did L.
Mike, Jamie, L and I got into Jamie's van. It was one of the hottest days of summer and the air conditioning was beautiful. The hills were alive with tints of color which seemed to be keeping pace with the van as we drove. Before I knew it, we were at my sister's boyfriend's house. We were going to pack some stuff up before we could leave. I announced that L and I weren't really here anyway and didn't have to help pack. Leo came over stuck his big fat head right in my face. He pulled his own eyes open wide and told me my pupils were dialated. "No shit" I told him. His head seemed to be twice as wide as it normaly was and he had four eyes. I didn't like leo.
I found some shade and looked at the trees. They were turning inside out. It seemed that all the brances were green prisms and the pattern of leaves were going arround them like the belt on a treadmill. The grass infront of me was a single cluster of blades that repeated itself exactly a million times over. I was hot. Very hot. Too hot.
So I went inside. I sat on the couch and looked up at the celing tiles. They seemed to expand, the lines between them were like abalone shells, they reflected rainbow colors. The room seemed huge.
That's when my sister came in and told me L was puking up a shitload of shrooms. She said she could take care of her and that she was going to drive me home.
I really didn't care where on the earth I was phisically so I didn't mind we were not going to saint cloud after all.
I went outside to wait.
I saw a squirl on the tree that had first started it's kaliedascope pattern before the others. I got it in my mind that that tree was the leader. The squirl was doing what it told it to do. Then I was the squirl who was doing what the tree told me to do. I went over and touched my toes to the trunk and put my palms face down on the bark as if I was climbing it. My sister came out and told me not to climb the tree.
The ride back to the house was boring. Her truck was smelly and hot. She wouldn't turn on the air conditioning because it took too much gas. Then she asked me if she could have my weed. I told her no. She asked again. She asked if she could buy a bowl. "Why would I want money?" I asked. It didn't make any sense to me. Money is useless I thought.
My sister dropped us off and I asked her to unplug the phones and put on a movie. She did that and found my pot. "I'm going to buy this bowl from you." she said.
I was so sick of her and her money talk that I told her to leave.
I was hot. I needed ice. I went to my freezer and got the bucket under the ice cube trays that we keep filled with ice. I took a piece and put it on my head, it melted so fast. I was wet. I got a towel.
I spent what I later learned was two hours sitting on the couch playing with ice. I put it on my leg and watched how my leg absorbed the ice. I liked how my red shirt reflected in the ice.
Then if felt as if I woke up. I saw what a mess the house had become. I thought about how we'd just cleaned it up and it was messy again. What was the point of cleaning? For that matter what was the point of any temporary state?
Thats when it seemed like every thought I had I was thinking for the first time. Temporary does not exist. Only a perminant state. I felt as if existance was a pendulum constantly changin from one extream to the next but alway following the exact same path. I felt as if this was ultimate and unchangable. It seemed horribly crule to make conciouss creatures repeat the cycle over and over. I thought about my cats, 18 and 19 years old, how they had been thru the full cycle for nothing. I wept for them and for me. I didn't want to exist in the pendulum anymore.
I told myself I was on a drug, that I shouldn't be making decisions like this under the influince.
The influence. That was the problem. This is when a few friends that were in the neighborhood stoped by. They wanted some shrooms, so we gave them what we had left. He was shocked. "I need to pay you for this, this is too much" I didn't know what to tell him. I saw how pointless he was. "Why would I want money for those?" I asked him. "awww, they're no good?"
That's when L and I looked at each other and started cracking up. We couldn't stop laughing. He asked what was so funny.
"Man, we were on another plane of existance today" L said.
And then we looked at the clock. 9pm. We ordered pizza.