It was May 11, 2002, and my friend,E, and i were both eating mushrooms for the first time. we each bought ourself an eighth (4-4.5 grams) and took them to his house for consumption. they were dry, and i was anxious cuz i had never tripped before, or had any kind of visuals, so i ate the entire bag straight, even all the powder, in 10 minutes on an empty stomach. only 15 minutes later, as i was lying on his bed, i noticed the patterns on the ceiling bubbling and floating around in the ocean of stucko above me. my friend had a cheetah print shirt on the wall whose spots were skittering around each other in circles and swirls. i told him i was tripping already, he wasn't even finished eating his portion.
i called up my 2 girlfriends and told them that i had eaten mushrooms and to come over before i started wiggin out. besides me, they're the only girls in my circle of friends, and it's extremely comfortable to have them around. by the time they got there 20 min later, i was so gone, that my mind could not comprehend why they were there. i knew they weren't in the room before i was trippin, and i couldn't explain why they were suddenly there. i knew that E was fucked up too, cuz he kept laughing and being extremely friendly.
i tried to smoke a cigarette, and i used the red ashtray he had set on his dark blue bed, but i couldn't find the ashtray. i remember staring at it, but seeing 4 identical red sploches, all of them dancing around each other in the colorful haze that had filled the room. my hair was down, and it was in my face, but i could still feel it dangling across my lips even after i had cleared it away.
at this point i was unable to speak. my girlfriends kept laughing at my facial expressions of complete astonishment and confusion. i was freaking our, thinking everything was really close to me, it was all becoming part of me, and i wanted it all far away. about half an hour later, the chiks left and my trip became more mellow and comfortable as E and i sat in our own little mushroom world.
about this time, he put on the discovery channel, which had some show about ocean life on, and we listened to paul oakenfold's Goa Mix Gold. it was the most peaceful music, accompanied with the serenity of fish swimming around. it made me realize how beautiful nature is, even though the animals on the screen were morphing into unrecognizalbe creatures. E got out a video tape and taped the show from tv. then he told me that someday, he and i would get mushrooms again, and we would come here and watch this video. he told me he was positive of this, and it made me feel better about myself and life in general to hear him say that. i knew that he and i were very good friends and that both of us planned to keep it that way.
this is about the time i decided that i had to pee. i went across the hall, and decided not to lock the door after entering the bathroom. i stood in front of the mirror laughing at myself. my eyes were huge, and the colors dancing all over me were so interesting that i couldn't tear myself away from the sight. i tried leaving the bathroom after "unlocking" the door, which was actually me locking the door, and locking myself in the bathroom fro about 10 min before i realized what happened. i thought E was standing outside the door holding the knob, playing a joke on me. i laughed outloud, hoping he would hear me and let go, but after realizing what had really happened, i felt bad for blamming the incident on him.
i went back into his room and instantly felt at home. we must have sat in that room, talking for hours. my thoughts were scattered, and at some point i told him that i wasn't sure if i was speaking english, and i apologized for speaking jibberish to him for so long. he told me he felt exactly the same way and thanked me for saying it before he did. we got up and paced around the room, i don't remember everything we talked about, i just remember holding nothing back, and understanding every word i heard or spoke for the feeling behind the word, not just the literal meaning.
the main feeling trhoughout the trip was confusion. i didn't know where i was going, or why i was going there, i just knew that i was going, and that nothing else mattered. E was holding a joint in his hand, and i told him not to smoke it yet, cuz it would make us sloppy and make the trip more lazy. he told me that i was right, and he walked toward me, he put his hand on my stomach and gently slid it across my body as he walked around me in a circle. this sent chills down me, and all i wanted was for him to touch me again. the physical contact was amazing, i could feel E inside of me, like his soul seeped into me from that one touch.
i highly recomend going outside while on mushies. it was a beautiful warm night, and when the air blew, i could feel it blowing right through me. i felt so clean, so pure, like the air itself was blowing away all my insecurities and pain.
we left his house to go to a party with our friends. i still don't know how he could drive like that, but he could. the visuals had calmed down by then from colorful haze to a series of blinking lights that were scattered throughout my vision.
the party sucked, and the house was weird. E and i arrived together, and walked through a long, dark kitchen, then down steep steps with no hand rail, then we entered the room of the party, which was all white with black and white checkered carpet. we walked in and sat together, but eventually E moved. there was a guy i never met there, and once E moved away, he asked me if E was my boyfriend. i said no, he asked if E was my brother, i said no. the dude was hitting on me for a while, so i got up and sat with another friend of mine.
the only person i felt i could really comunicate with was E, and he was on the other side of the room. all my friends were trying to talk to me, but i couldn't understand what they were saying,. that's when i saw E get up and walk to the door with 2 of my friends. i got up and followed him. i asked if i could go with him and he said no. then he smiled real big and said i'm just kidding, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room, then led me up the stairs by the hand.
in the car, we sat in the backseat and talked about how the mushies were fucking with our sex drive, and how we wanted to mess around. he told me that he was really glad we ate these with each other, and that this was a serious bonding experience for us and that he would never forget it. then he told me that if i was going to sleep at his house, that i would have to sleep in his bed. i agreed and everyone in the car laughed as he and i exchanged the word "yeah" over and over.
the rest of the night was strange, it mainly consisted of throwing up in the gas station parking lot, afterglow at white castle, and trying to drive to E's house to sleep. we ended up crashing on the couch, which was for the better. E and i didnt' know each other as well then as we do now, but since then, i have always felt connected to him. E is more that a friend, but less than a brother. it meant a lot to me, but i have yet to watch the discovery channel since then.