first trip; what i expected, yet not

Shrooms were the first "drug" i had any desire to try.  Even before i had learned much about them, their "magic" appealed to me.  And as i learned more, i became more interested.  My motives were as much for a spiritual experience as the desire to feel good and "see crazy shit".

I ingested approximately 1.5 grams of cubensis, and waited.  It had been a dull day and i was in a fair or borderline mood, so i just chilled and relaxed.  Perhaps i should have waited for a brighter day, but for some reason i chose that day.  I was tired, so i layed down in my bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to some medieval music that i thought would be good to trip with.  i kept thinking "maybe 1.5 grams isn't enough to do much, but it's better than overdoing it the first time".

after about an hour, things were happening in my body and my mind.  i was laying under the covers, and i knew it was warm, but the warmth felt so good.  my thought process was altered so that i was coherent and thoughtful, but somewhat mindless (different from being stoned on weed).  Soon my body was wrapped in euphoric warmth, and my entire body was perceptive.  the only way i can describe it is to say that my inner being was full of light - so full, i could feel the light radiating from my body.  and when i closed my eyes, my imagination took me different places that i hadn't been before.  i could call them visuals, but the weren't as "visual" as i had expected.  it was more like i was imagining things and seeing them in my mind, rather than with my eyes.  i "saw" faint patterns and swirls and geometries that i can't convey, they were so fleeting.  occasionally, i would imagine pastel trees of incredible colours, laden with fruit and odd faces, dancing and swirling in front of the moon.  or a giant mushroom made of smoke that sheltered the universe, and there was harmony under its veil.  bright ideas came, like amanitas in technicolor.  of course, there was a great deal of euphoric smiling and laughter throughout this time.  i had no idea my entire body would feel so good on shrooms.

i was thirsty and had drained both glasses of water that i had brought into my bedroom, so i went to refill them and stopped by the bathroom on the way back.  i stood naked in front of the mirror, and my whole person looked different.  my eyes looked beady, like a rat, and my skin was darker than normal.  at times, my body would suddenly shrink and my elbows would become so huge that i thought i could walk with them.  twice my body would turn negative colour.  i looked so much like a frog at one point; i realized that i was a frog.  no, i wasn't a frog, i was very much like a frog.  "frog" and i were equal; we were the same, and always had been.   i seriously felt like i was in a fairy-tale.

after returning to my bed, i could feel a river of something flowing over my midsection.  it was like honey that was light that was warmth.  i imagined, or felt rather, that dozens of amanitas were popping up through the leaves and mold on my back.  and then the dancing trees again, swirling just above my back; all so bright and colourful.  i enjoyed this for what seemed like hours, later to realize that only a short time had passed.  then i decided to go outside and take-in the stars.  i lay on my back on the driveway under a tree,  seeing patterns in the leaves.  i moved my head slowly, and it felt like my entire body was pivoting without any effort, even after i had stopped moving.  this was very cool.

after that, i returned to my bed.   i thanked God for letting me enjoy such a beautiful experience, and asked (although this was cool) that i could wake up totally normal and ready for work in the morning.  things started to wind down and my imagination began to ease-up.  perhaps the wierdest thing was an audio hallucination.  i heard a woman coming through a phone (that hollow, speaking-through-a-can sound), at the foot of my bed.  she was ridiculing someone, or some group of people.  this disturbed me, and for a moment i thought "why can't she just be nice?"  then i told myself i was just tripping a little, and i chilled out and eventually went to sleep.

the next morning, i awoke refreshed, ready to do something positive with my life.  i enjoyed this so much; i am looking forward to doing it again.  however, i realize that this is "sacred", and is not for casual abuse.  peace, my friend, and God's blessings.