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Trust and Let Go

Exploring the Outer Regions of Experience

I'm hardly any novice at taking drugs,  but mostly when doing mushies I only take enough for a level 2 or 3 trip.  It's really a matter of time; I work and seldom get a chance to kick back and totally relax. 

I had Friday off work, got some paperwork done, set about giving the house a tidy, ate some toast and cheese and thought: "right, in a little while,I'm going to get the mushrooms (psilocybe semilanceata) out that have beentucked away since Autumn - and measure out enough for a level 5 trip". 

Let's fucking go for it basically! :-)

A quick look at the dosage calculator says 3.6 grams dried.   I topped it up to about 4 grams.

It was now about an hour and a half since I'd eaten.  I made myself a mug of coffee and stirred in the mushrooms,  (they pretty much filed themug!), and swallowed the whole lot down over a few minutes.

Outside it was evening now (7:30 p.m.), the sun was setting and I lit a few candles in the lounge and dimmed the lights, finished tidying a few things (noticing that even as I did, the firsthints of tripiness were coming on).  Plenty of time yet (I thought!). So Istarted selecting favourite CDs to listen to and rummaging through the cupboard for favourite videos  (you know the sort: Altered States, 2001, Monty Python'sLife of Brian, Excalibur (Arthurian legend stuff with Helen Mirren), the *original* version of the Wicker Man yadda).

Fuck me gently;  vision was starting to get seriously hallucinatory even as I searched.  Thoughts were starting to become confused.  How long had I been searching for videos?  Felt like an hour.  "Hey don'twaste the trip, I thought.  Enough, lets go pop in the CDs (The Orb, Deep Forest, The Shamen, Sabres ofParadise) and 2001 into the video".

2001 is great for watching on a level 2 or 3.  Really deeplymeaningful.  Popped it the video, started watching it.

Checked the clock 7:50 pm. It wasonly 20 minutes since I'd swallowed the mushrooms down and I was already out of things. Could scarcely keep my eyes open.  Rapidly couldn't see what wasgoing on around me. Fumbled for the tv remote. Completely pointless trying to make sense of what I was viewing, so off it went.   Just managed to operate the CD remote and lay back on my lovely big comfy couch with a view out of the bay windows across the rooftops to the night sky.

I closed my eyes.

Bursting 3d visuals. Beautiful patterns.  I could hear the music in thebackground.  Sometimes I heard the ticking of the clocking. Sometimes I didn't.  At first the music was separate from me.  Then it was part of me.  Part of everything.   All I could do was trust and let go.

It felt like I was being rocketed into different parts of the trip.  The nearest thing I could describe it as was the scene in the film Contact whenJodie Fosteris passing through the wormholes.   Things would come to a standstill.   At these points I don't even remember hearing any music playing in the background  - and then woosh - into the next part of the trip.  Hours seemed to pass.  It seemed to go on for ever. Occasionally I'd manage to open my eyes;  the black night sky now appeared a vivid crimson blood red.  

I checked the clock.  8:30 p.m.

I closed my eyes and was totally gone again.

And I really do mean gone.  Utterly and totally tripped out.   A fascinating experience.  But only because I'd tripped many times before, did I know to "trust and let go".  The trip is going to take you where it wants to take you.  That's just the way it is.

Hours seemed to pass again and I was starting to think, when is this going to end? It was intense. I wondered how much more I could take.  My mind felt as though it was being absolutely pounded with a vast amount of information.  Way too much to take in at once or make any real sense of.  Managed to open my eyes and focus on the clock.  9:30 p.m.

Trust and let go.

It was all I could do by this point.  I really was completely incapable of doing anything else by this point anyway.

Every now and again, cool air whispering voices would cross my face. (That'sthe only way I can describe it).  And each time I knew another part of the trip would begin.

By about 11 pm. I was able to open my eyes and "focus" on the walls and ceiling of the room.  The visual hallucinations were still intense by any normal trip standard. The walls of my lounge moved and pulsed in time to the music.  Everything was in freeze frame and fractionating.  If Imoved I could see myself moving from position to position.  Bursting, firework sparkling colours appeared as I gazed around.

I started to focus a bit more and managed to switch on the tv (which luckily had some zanny comedy on).  Got a drink of water.  And a bottle of tonic wine (a mix of caffeine, vanilla and red wine). Something I like to drink to start mellowing out a trip.

And then I remembered about something.  An image to do with a recently investigated mathematical puzzle. I wandered into the back room and looked at it on the computer.

Here is the link.


And the article in full:


Look into if you like when you are heavily tripping.   I saw something very spooky in there.  Pretty freaky.   It's up to you whether you look or not.

It was the only part of this trip that was negative.   But some more wine, a couple of valium and a Red Dwarf video and I started to mellow out!

Like all deep trips, it's pretty much a personal experience.  (If you area fan of Babylon 5, think of the episode when the Brakiri have their Day of the Dead). A lot of this trip is plainly and simply difficult to describe in ordinary terms.  But I wouldn't say it was into the territory of being a level 5.

That's a treat that will have to wait until Autumn and I can gather some more mushies.

For me (I'm a big guy) I reckon it will take about five grams of dry semilanceata to launch me into a level 5 trip. YMMV.

I've no worries about going back in that deep.  But I would advise anybody taking that amount not to take it in the company of others - either at all (probably best something done by yourself).  Or if you do feel you need to have somebody present, make sure they are also well experienced and you know them very well.

And make sure you have some way of wrapping yourself it cotton wool (metaphorically speaking) as your return to normality.  As you come out of a deep trip the risks of giving yourself a bad negative jolt (just when you think you are back in control) are high.

Just remember, the trip isn't over until it decides it is over. Not you.

It probably takes a couple of good nights sleep too, to really get back to normal.

Until my level 5 report.


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