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Voice recorded Lvl 4 transcript2

Journey into the void

Mushroom Journey #5   9:40am December 31, 2006, while sitting looking over Lake Tahoe, I drank down a hot tea containing 3.8 grams of P-Cube, I am now heading in a north easterly direction up the mountain,

(0:22) beginning to feel mild perceptive distortions, intensifying rapidly perhaps due to my physical activity   I'm trudging through some deep snow at the moment, (0:35) I am flying, this is taking me to a place I've never been before, I'm sitting in the sun meditating, I feel it gripping me in a far more powerful and serious manner than any prior journeys, as I close my eyes I'm getting the most amazing fractal images, going to get up and keep moving now,

(0:43) completely in its grip, not yet opening to spirit at this point, praying out loud for it, I'm stumbling toward a large, sprawling Sugar Pine as thought it were my savior, my motor skills are gone, feeling the fear of the run-up   the fright of it, its been a monster run-up,

(0:50) standing at the base of the Sugar Pine, unbelievable waves moving through me, crazy, can't stand, can't stabilize, wild vibrant colors, looking at the radiating bark of this old giant, it's skin scorched by the flames of some distant fire, beautiful majesty looking out over this gorgeous lake, move through me now%u2026 my god, the sky is moving, great sweeping wisps of high clouds, oh my god, it is as though they are forming fractal patterns, oh my%u2026 the lake is reflecting those patterns like icy fire, help me to convey this%u2026 oh my god, amazing, spectacular view,

(1:00) once again, a mad phoenix is drifting across the sky over the lake, it breaths and moves in incredibly intricate fractal patterns, preternatural, move through me now spirit,

(1:03) I am way into this thing now, it is gripped me and I am experiencing waves of%u2026 the unspeakable, massive hallucinations, I can no longer walk, the lake is glass, it's ghostly got a haze on its chilling calm blue surface%u2026 I feel like I'm birthing a child, out with you!, out!,

(1:10) I getting very close to passing out, can no longer walk,

(1:30) a moment of clarity, thank god, I have been sitting in a kind of trance singing 'Show me the path, great one!', undulating rhythmically in circles while seated at the base of a great Ponderosa Pine, my bare hands clutching my fleece hat, I'm now feeling spirit moving through me strongly, when I close my eyes I see the glassy black eyes of spirit looking back at me, %u2026oh my god, the sky is alive!, feel it moving through me, great one!, great one!, Show me the path!... I need to be careful here, I've somehow taken off my layered jackets%u2026 and I'm going to put them back on now, it's quite cold and I'm laying in the snow,

(3:42) I'm coming off the back-side of what I can only describe as a deep trance state, it's going to be very hard to describe this, I collapsed at the base of the tree and lost consciousness, I now recall images of the sky moving in circles as my seated body rotated in full range-of-motion clockwise circles, my head moving maybe a about a foot from the ground, I was chanting, singing, 'Show me the path, great one!' over and over, strangely, a semi-conscious part of me was observing this from some detached perspective, I would fall into a comatose stillness for some time and then my body would begin to spasm and convulse and, gradually, I would find myself back in the rhythmic chanting, energy was pulsing through me in powerful waves, my body convulsing under the stress of it, I was singing like a kind of medicine man, a shaman   I have never practiced shamanism and am using it as kind of clumsy reference, I remember that conscious part of me wondering what indeed was possessing me for it didn't sound like me at all, the voice was singing in a melodic tone which I truly believe I am incapable of, the sound of this voice seemed to fill the sky, when I closed my eyes I saw eyes dark as polished obsidian looking back at me   no - looking into me, the eyes had the primal quality of a spirit of native shamanic origin, they held no malice in them, nor were they particularly kind, I remember then seeing the eyes of animals looking at/into me, some were canine resembling the Wolf and some were feline like the Lynx - their gaze intense and penetrating, there were also moments in which the images dissolved completely and I perceived myself to be floating in space among what seemed like thousands of stars, from another perspective they could have been particles of energy   subatomic particles, I had no frame of reference from which to distinguish between the two, as I rotated about in circles I would open my eyes and glance for a moment at the sky, the light was incredibly intense   I believe this must have been due to the extreme dilation of my pupils and snowy white conditions, it was so bright I could not clearly make out the details of the lake or surrounding mountains, but the sky hung over me like a terrible demon, the sun shone through a cloud layer in such a way that made it look like a single flaming eye looking directly at me, turning away from its unbearable intensity I reached toward the sky and screamed 'fill me with your light, I accept the light!', over and over, and there, for a brief instant, two shining eyes looked down upon me from within this intense brilliance, these eyes possessed both love and a distinctly intimate familiarity, in that moment of recognition I began laughing, the sound of laughter echoed across the sky and I then realized we were both laughing, but the laughter coming from the sky was strangely inaudible, I had the strong feeling of seeing a very old and deer friend   there was deep understanding and mutual affection, and a knowing that I shall never forget as long as I live, (long pause) the sky is incredible at the moment, like god looking down, I'm regaining my motor skills now and I'm looking at my tracks in the snow coming down the trail, its quite comical   like a hopelessly drunken sailor, I'm still pulsating in gentle rhythms, it's hard to describe the experience [that I went through] physically, my body was convulsing violently under the intensity, it's very much as though the physical being is not meant to experience the energy of the greater self, I feel as through the stress I endured was due to a kind of energetic overload, there were moments of darkness there, I remember fighting through them, screaming 'I choose the light', and indeed I do choose the light, I will always choose the light, all of my journeys to this point have approached the void, but never crossed over, I have stood and looked over the edge for brief moments from a position of relative security, this time from the beginning there was no controlling it mentally or physically, I was propelled over the edge and into the abyss, there were no brakes on my cart, no possibility of slowing down, once there I saw the darkness and the light that lives within me,

(3:57) the light coming through the clouds is magical, angelic,

(4:05) I am now gaining more perspective on what has happened as I sit here overlooking the beautiful lake, I now recall helpless moments of terror in which I struggled to regain consciousness   to regain a familiar hold on reality, in past journeys I had experienced waves of love and ecstasy coursing through my body during the peaks, these sensations were intensely physical and at their crests I felt as though I might somehow explode, the sensation I experienced today was like a rapture so intense and powerful as to be physically unbearable,

(4:11) still trying to understand what has happened and what significance it carries, something that sticks out is that I faced fearful darkness today, and I didn't meet anything that I couldn't handle, I am left with a very reflective gentle feeling, I continue to recall images of myself   like some kind of dream   laying on my side writhing and convulsing under the stress of the pulsing waves moving through me - every muscle in my body flexing and releasing, my arms coiling and stretching out towards the earth on one side and sky on the other, like some kind of conductive element between heaven and earth, if a hiker would have come across me in those two hours they would have surely been terrified and run for help in a panic, I recall that fragment of me that remained consciously aware wondering whether my body was physically capable of enduring,

(4:17) another thing that strikes me is the world of difference between the experience of 3.5 grams (my last journey) and 3.8 grams   I was fasting on both occasions, I felt very much like I was walking the edge last time, but this journey seemed far more powerful than the extra quarter gram would suggest, the overall experience was very a serious thing, I felt like the careless courier who inadvertently barges into the board meeting at General Motors, and finds all eyes turned upon him, (pause) watching a storm roll in, the lighting can only be described as heavenly,

(4:25) walking very slowly down a fire trail back towards the lake, as I reflect I get the feeling that I may not need to go to this level again, it's as though the exercise was simply an introduction to my spirit guide or guardian   in a most direct fashion - and from this point on we don't really need further introduction, (pause) storm clouds directly overhead heading into the basin, all along the fringes (I'm not hallucinating now) I see refracted spectral light as though it has passed through a prism, reflecting back, there were moments when I wondered if I would ever be released from the at-times oppressive grip of the experience, what would happen to me, who would feed my pet, I feel very confident now that my pet will be fed tonight,

(4:34) the sun is disappearing behind very dark clouds, its light is being thrown across the sky in a dazzling display,

(4:56) just took my first piss, clouds are now fully moved in, beautiful dark underbellies with trailing tails, across the lake the light is striking the snowy peaks and the contrast is spectacular.

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