Okay first off theres a little disclaimer to this: The following conversation takes place between me and my friend who has never done any psychedelics before who was curious. I am obviously "ilovepsychedelics" and he is "newtotripping". We tripped a few days before we had this conversation, and went down to the city of chicago for our trip. We were not on shrooms, and I realize this website is mainly about shrooms. But the trip experience was so similiar to the effects I've felt on shrooms I feel it is important enough to share anyways...He dosed 8 seeds, I dosed 11 Initially...4 a few hours later and 2 a few after that (We had Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds, LSA aka Acids little sister...). I know this isnt the usual trip report format, but this is the only way I thought the information could be shared as he can't remember most of it now to write his own report. Enjoy...its a little long but worth the read, some things he said should really make sense to some of you...
newtotripping: you there?
newtotripping signed off at 12:58:59 AM.
newtotripping signed on at 9:56:00 PM.
newtotripping: you thurr?
Ilovepsychedelics: so...terry tells me the seeds made you uncomfortable?
Ilovepsychedelics: :-P you're too stubborn to let them take control and then its no fun
newtotripping: I had a bit of a bad trip
newtotripping: a few things influenced it
Ilovepsychedelics: how so
newtotripping: one, you and Bill talking about the money I owe everyone got me thinking about that, and for some reason, I could NOT get it off my mind...which fell into my bills, late schoolwork, etc.
Ilovepsychedelics: my bad
newtotripping: and for some reason, it all seemed so hopeless and scary to me that it was FREAKING me out
Ilovepsychedelics: get stuck in a loop?
newtotripping: it was like
newtotripping: oh, I'll piss
newtotripping: FUCK I OWE MONEY TO EVERYONE
Ilovepsychedelics: you looked kinda freaked out over there by yourself
newtotripping: and lets see
newtotripping: something else
newtotripping: the worst part
newtotripping: when I said I needed to be fine by like 10
newtotripping: and you and Bill were like
newtotripping: AHAHAHAHAHAH right
newtotripping: it was over
newtotripping: my mind just went insane
newtotripping: it went between money and how I'm fucked when I get home
Ilovepsychedelics: have to talk to your mom?
newtotripping: if I get home
Ilovepsychedelics: how was that
newtotripping: she demanded to see the money today
newtotripping: I showed her, she was like
newtotripping: oh, good. well, take that with you tomorrow
newtotripping: thats what I needed to call you about
Ilovepsychedelics: so you can give it back?
newtotripping: I have to leave with my sister to go to Iowa
newtotripping: I gotta wait until AJ sends the cash
newtotripping: I called him today
newtotripping: he told me he gets his check tomorrow and will paypal it then
newtotripping: so as soon as it clears, I can send it to you
newtotripping: you gave me $90, right? I'll just give you like 100 back so you can get yourself a free hit or two on me ;-)
Ilovepsychedelics: you're totally not ready for real acid.
Ilovepsychedelics: itd FREAK you out, man.
newtotripping: dick? wtf?
newtotripping: and no
newtotripping: I realized that
newtotripping: I can't do it again until i don't have so many things on my mind
Ilovepsychedelics: i told you
Ilovepsychedelics: its a total mind fuck
Ilovepsychedelics: bet you had no idea to expect that though
newtotripping: I'm delinquent on my CC bill, I owe parents money, school money, you money, etc. I am late on a bunch of homework, on freelance work because of Bill, my job is fucked up, etc etc
newtotripping: I didn't
newtotripping: I thought it would just be like confusion and pseudo-epiphanies
newtotripping: like, Oh, I understand everything now that I've pondered the universe!
Ilovepsychedelics: naw man, it really scrambles your brain.
Ilovepsychedelics: puts that shit in a blender
newtotripping: not, my life is a fucking wreck, I'm a piece of shit, I'm gonna die in a gutter, my parents are going to disown me, and me knees are gonna get broken by some thugs from my debtors
Ilovepsychedelics: yeah man
Ilovepsychedelics: if youve got issues to work out
Ilovepsychedelics: DONT take psychedelics
Ilovepsychedelics: maybe i should of mentioned that.
newtotripping: yeah, I didn't think it was that important...everyone kept telling me that
newtotripping: no, I knew
newtotripping: I've read every erowid experience evar
newtotripping: for years
newtotripping: but never believed it completely
newtotripping: because all the ones on coke, smack, etc. were usually kiddie bullshit
Ilovepsychedelics: so you never got any visuals? nothin even when you closed your eyes and didnt focus?
newtotripping: hell yes I had visuals
newtotripping: not closed-eye, though
newtotripping: well, sorta, but it was more like burned-retina visuals
Ilovepsychedelics: thats what they look like
Ilovepsychedelics: rainbows of burned colors
Ilovepsychedelics: what kinda open eyed ones did you get
newtotripping: it wasn't fabrication
newtotripping: just distortion
newtotripping: the TV was entertaining
Ilovepsychedelics: that movie man
Ilovepsychedelics: it was fuckin with me
Ilovepsychedelics: i seriously had no idea what was going on.
newtotripping: yeah, I had seen it before
newtotripping: so while I was a LITTLE confused, I could follow it
newtotripping: but it was really, really pissing me off after a while
Ilovepsychedelics: so was that guy that was way too energetic.
newtotripping: the scene where he fucks the fat chick made me want to scream
Ilovepsychedelics: he was like
newtotripping: I don't know why
Ilovepsychedelics: the spokesperson for redbull
Ilovepsychedelics: thats how i felt
newtotripping: oh, Igor?
newtotripping: he was bad to have around
newtotripping: except he grounded me
Ilovepsychedelics: he kept talking
Ilovepsychedelics: so FAST
Ilovepsychedelics: i couldnt STAND IT
newtotripping: because he's ALWAYS like that, and I told him I "wasn't really tripping at all"
Ilovepsychedelics: my mind wasnt moving at that speed
Ilovepsychedelics: i had to tune him out
newtotripping: and so he acted normal around me, which let me feel grounded to something my mind could comprehend, if that makes sense
Ilovepsychedelics: i remember when you kept motioning for him to leave
Ilovepsychedelics: and he would just keep talking
newtotripping: Bill was funny
newtotripping: I was in the room with igor
newtotripping: and he walked in
newtotripping: and said something totally tripped out
newtotripping: and I understood him, cause I was tripping too and was in that...er...lack of mindset, if you know what I mean, but at the same time I knew Igor wouldn't have a clue what he meant
newtotripping: and when igor doesn't understand, he fights with you and would've set off a REALLY bad vibe
newtotripping: so I looked at Igor and was like "psst" with a "he's fucked up, don't say anything" kind of in-joke look at him
newtotripping: and Bill flipped out
newtotripping: he saw it
newtotripping: and was like "wtf? whats that little nudge nudge shit? wtf, are you guys talking about me? fuck you guys man"
newtotripping: it was hilarious
Ilovepsychedelics: i'll try to get you a hit of acid tomorrow.
newtotripping: but it only made me feel like a dick, which sent me back into paranoid shitty-mind mode
Ilovepsychedelics: but no more than one.
Ilovepsychedelics: not saying you have to do it tomorrow
Ilovepsychedelics: but i might bet getting some then
newtotripping: but you'll get it? :D
newtotripping: after I left their apt with you
newtotripping: see, thats the other thing
Ilovepsychedelics: SO COLD
newtotripping: the whole time
newtotripping: I had like this fatherly mindset
newtotripping: it might be hard for you to get
Ilovepsychedelics: lol i know
Ilovepsychedelics: i could tell
Ilovepsychedelics: you kept like
newtotripping: but like, I've introduced many of my buddies to drugs
Ilovepsychedelics: motioning me to follow
Ilovepsychedelics: and HURRY
newtotripping: like, bad ones, at their request though
Ilovepsychedelics: WERE IN A HURRY
Ilovepsychedelics: TO SIT ON THE TRAIN
newtotripping: haha, yeah
Ilovepsychedelics: i was confused
Ilovepsychedelics: but didnt care
newtotripping: and every time I've done shit with buddies, they look at me to be the "wise one"
Ilovepsychedelics: i bet they thought i was FUCKED up
newtotripping: and I gotta watch them, cause I know the signs of ODs, etc. that the n00bs don't
Ilovepsychedelics: i was just havin a blast.
newtotripping: so for SOME REASON, I dont know why, I got into that mindset of "protect slott, make sure he doesn't fuck himself up by walking into traffic" and shit
Ilovepsychedelics: hahah mna
Ilovepsychedelics: if anything
newtotripping: and that freaked me out even more
Ilovepsychedelics: i should of been the one thinking that
newtotripping: yeah, I know, but I figured you were too gone to comprehend anything
newtotripping: every time I'd look at you you'd just go "Oooooo" like this: =-O
Ilovepsychedelics: hahah man i was still there, i just let go and didnt care
newtotripping: yeah, I tried so hard
newtotripping: I could think fairly well
newtotripping: the whole time I was like, "Man, I'm tripping balls, but shit, this sucks"
Ilovepsychedelics: at what hour
Ilovepsychedelics: would you say
Ilovepsychedelics: you actually felt
Ilovepsychedelics: "whoa, am i tripping?"
newtotripping: like I know it was going on but couldn't stop resisting no matter how much I tried to let go
newtotripping: probably when I moved over to the couch you were on
newtotripping: cause then I could see the TV and saw the burned images with the frozen frames and shit
Ilovepsychedelics: you were in the bathroom for a while
newtotripping: ghosting and whatnot
Ilovepsychedelics: how was the mirror
newtotripping: it was totally normal
newtotripping: which was good, because it grounded me
newtotripping: like, it was something that I could look at and go "OK, I'm normal, I'm just tripping. Cool."
newtotripping: I probably literally had the most fun in the bathroom :D
newtotripping: when I pissed, it felt like I was pissing for like 15 minutes....literally
newtotripping: and like it was a huge waterfall
Ilovepsychedelics: perception of time = GONE
Ilovepsychedelics: when tripping
newtotripping: and the toilet was warbling and breathing and shit
newtotripping: and when the piss would splash against the water, it was like something profound and majestic was happening :D
newtotripping: like crashing waves and shit
newtotripping: then outside
newtotripping: the buildings seemed REALLY small
newtotripping: like, for some reason, it felt like they were like 8 feet tall
newtotripping: only a little taller than me
newtotripping: did you hear me say that?
newtotripping: "man the buildings look short as fuck"
Ilovepsychedelics: when i was walking the extreme coldness totally took me out of my trip for the most part
Ilovepsychedelics: it was annoying
newtotripping: it was really bad for me
newtotripping: cause like
newtotripping: I'd look down the street
newtotripping: and walk
newtotripping: and look down to hide from the cold
newtotripping: and feel like I was walking for like 30 minutes
newtotripping: and look up, and I went like 15 feet
newtotripping: which was why I felt like I had to hurry, cause I thought it was taking us FOREVER to get anywhere
newtotripping: thank god I remember my old bus stop and #
Ilovepsychedelics: THOSE GIRLS
Ilovepsychedelics: i stared at them.
Ilovepsychedelics: like i was the devil
newtotripping: though you almost went to Waukegan :D
Ilovepsychedelics: they had to know i was fucked up.
newtotripping: I was gonna go to Ravenswood, which would've not taken you to libertyville...thats why we had to go through the underground to the other station when I remember you were going with me
Ilovepsychedelics: you FAIL at being a father
newtotripping: I finally STARTED to have some real mind-opening shit when I left you
newtotripping: cause I knew you were cool then and I was gonna be straight with getting home, and my mind loosened up
Ilovepsychedelics: when you didnt have to worry about baby sitting me?
newtotripping: and I stopped being insanely paranoid
newtotripping: and because I was ON THE TRAIN, ready to be picked up and it was out of my hands
Ilovepsychedelics: how was talking to your sister
Ilovepsychedelics: have an interesting conversation?
newtotripping: and because I wasn't insanely fucked up by that point, the visuals were gone but the mindfuck was still ever-present
newtotripping: sort of
newtotripping: it was weird
newtotripping: cause like
newtotripping: I didn't feel like I was really tripping much anymore
newtotripping: but I still had a body buzz (which felt uncomfortable to me almost the entire time)
newtotripping: and my mind was focused on empathetic shit
newtotripping: like, no matter how much the real me was trying to be like "no, fuck everyone, you had people man" I kept thinking like, "man... I'm such a dick... I shouldn't be fucking with my sister like that" and crap like that
newtotripping: I felt like an ass cause I made her drive all over the place for me
Ilovepsychedelics: YOU FUCKING DICK!
newtotripping: and all that shit
newtotripping: haha, yeah
Ilovepsychedelics: you're lucky i didnt feel like fucking with you.
newtotripping: and then I just felt really insanely enlightened
newtotripping: see, other people didn't really weird me out
newtotripping: like even when you were in the bathroom or whatever
newtotripping: and I was with Igor
newtotripping: he would try to fuck with me
newtotripping: and I knew he was, and didn't care
newtotripping: or, I would just dismiss everything he did as my imagination
newtotripping: it was ME that was weirding me out
newtotripping: my mind was just gone, thinking about shit I've never, and don't really want to think about
Ilovepsychedelics: i told you man
Ilovepsychedelics: psychedelics are brain food
newtotripping: and I finally understood the hippies
Ilovepsychedelics: you thought i was full of shit and just trying to justify my abuse
Ilovepsychedelics: BUT IM NOT!
newtotripping: I kept thinking, while we were in the train station
newtotripping: while we were in the trainstation, I was stuck in a loop of "the hippies are the strong-minded ones, man, if they can handle this shit, they're fucking STABLE...WE'RE the unstable ones."
newtotripping: and then it went the other way
Ilovepsychedelics: you get it jeff.
newtotripping: when I was ON the train
Ilovepsychedelics: THE TRUTH IS SCARY
Ilovepsychedelics: ISNT IT
newtotripping: I was fighting with two explanations
newtotripping: either they're really, insanely stable and can handle it
newtotripping: they've reduced their minds and lives to be simple enough that their problems and issues don't grind on them like people with a lot of important business swirling around them all the time
newtotripping: which may or may not be a better way of life...thats for the next trip I guess, to figure out ;-)
newtotripping: but either way
newtotripping: while all I could think about was "when will this end?" I was finally like
newtotripping: OK, I understand now. Wow, this is powerful and to be respected.
newtotripping: like, i couldn't understand how your trip wasn't fudged cause of your fight with your mom and your dad calling and shit
newtotripping: that would've sent me over the edge, heh
Ilovepsychedelics: gotta be strong minded and not let that shit bother you
Ilovepsychedelics: or it totally does ruin it
Ilovepsychedelics: only ruins it if you let it!
newtotripping: I fought to be normal
newtotripping: I was fuckin fighting my mind the entire time
newtotripping: not the trip
newtotripping: I was like
newtotripping: OK, lets fucking trip...don't think about that....just have fun
newtotripping: TRIP TRIP TRIP
newtotripping: but then no matter what I did, it just went back to hell
Ilovepsychedelics: that sucks
newtotripping: thats why when Igor was in there talking about Rambo and shit, I was happier, cause it kept my mind off bad shit and onto funny, stupid shit that I could enjoy
newtotripping: but then he grated on my mind
newtotripping: like a fucking cheese grater
newtotripping: and I wanted him to go away
newtotripping: and when he did, and we watched that movie, it was cool, but then I fell back into "shit, I'm so fucked up, everyone is gonna find out then its all gonna go downhill from there..." and back into the loop
newtotripping: I needed you guys to be like "don't worry dude, you'll be cool by the time you need to go home"
newtotripping: but I couldn't be like, "tell me this!" or it would've been pointless, heheh
Ilovepsychedelics: all in all
Ilovepsychedelics: have a good time?
newtotripping: I'll say this
newtotripping: if you were to pick any random spot
newtotripping: during my trip
newtotripping: and asked me if I was having a blast
newtotripping: ANY spot, except maybe right at the end when I started clearing my head up
newtotripping: I would've said FUCK no stop this shit
Ilovepsychedelics: what was your must profound thought?
newtotripping: when I look back on it, I had some intense understandings from my insane introspectives that I think the mental anguish was worth it. WELL worth it.
Ilovepsychedelics: told you man
Ilovepsychedelics: it opens up that third eye
newtotripping: it was kinda like
Ilovepsychedelics: and you can SEE into the world.
newtotripping: it allowed me to step back
newtotripping: and look at my life
newtotripping: and everyone else's lives that I knew
newtotripping: and how they relate to me
newtotripping: and from a totally unbiased POV, analyze what was happening and where we were going
newtotripping: I could honestly, 100% NOT UNDERSTAND why I use heroin
Ilovepsychedelics: see why native americans use this shit for "spirituals quests"?
Ilovepsychedelics: yeah man
newtotripping: no matter how hard I tried to justify it, and how I was like, "it feels amazing" tec.
newtotripping: my mind could not understand it
newtotripping: it was like I was sitting there beating my head on a wall, complaining about headaches, and finally I realized I was beating my head against a wall
newtotripping: though that just made me more depressed, because I knew it was my fault, and that went into you've-been-fucking-yourself-over mindset again, etc etc
newtotripping: everything I thought about always brought me back full-circle to "it's all your fault, ya fuckin moron! when will you ever learn?"
newtotripping: but out of that
newtotripping: I learned one very important thing
newtotripping: that I still remember, and realize is very true and not just tripped-out-logic
Ilovepsychedelics: whats that
newtotripping: I spend so much time sitting around worrying and planning about all the shit I have to do, that by the time I'm done worrying and planning, I've already wasted so much time that I could've just fucking done what I needed to get done.
Ilovepsychedelics: i learned a while ago theres no reason to worry
Ilovepsychedelics: because it doesnt help anything
Ilovepsychedelics: and its best just not to.
newtotripping: basically, I'm insanely disorganized, and I need to just do my shit and stop forcing myself to keep my to-do list on the front of my mind
newtotripping: without actually doing anything about it, heh
newtotripping: its hard to get excited about it
newtotripping: because its so different from the normal concept of "drugs" to me
newtotripping: but its such a mindfuck...that I can hardly resist wanting to find out more
newtotripping: its like buying a book a few pages at a time, and while its a huge pain in the ass, you're at least getting the story, heh
And doesn't that last line just sum it all up perfectly, I couldn't think of a better way to put it. Hope reading this may have helped someone learn something%u2026
Enjoy, hope it helps make you feel less insane to know other people have simliar thoughts! Happy tripping...whatever your method may be....