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They're on the Outside

My second trip, another long read



They're on the Outside
I had had my first mushroom trip some time ago, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Although I wished it had had more spiritual value, I still relinquished the feeling of being re-energized, enlightened, and motivated. During the comedown of my first trip, I decided on not tripping again,at least for some time. I was confident in my own ability to limit myself, and I was in no rush to map this new realm.

Fast forward six months. I manage to procure some mushrooms, two grams to be precise, in record time. Within one week of asking around I had made my purchase. I felt ready for another trip, now all that remained was a good opportunity to use them. It arose one week later. Two friends (whom I will from now on refer to as Yon and Dave) wanted to hang out for the weekend at Dave's house. They had plenty of herb, a very relaxed and isolated location, and Yon had a gram of mushrooms.

I arrived there early, around 10 am, on a brisk Saturday in the fall. The property surrounding the house was large, roomy, and featured many trees whose leaves were in the process of changing. The sky was clear and bright, and it was fairly warm still. After taking stock of the surroundings, I grinned broadly. Today would be marvelous. Yon, Dave and I all decided to begin the day with a few bowls. We smoked about a gram and a half of very potent pot between the three of us, and then decided to take a walk around the surrounding fields in search of mushrooms.

I felt the pot come on as a warm glow around my extremities, and a very enjoyable feeling I have come to describe as the "Walking Sensation." Mostly, I enjoy the feeling of walking and being active, and it all seems slightly altered and more interesting. We found no mushrooms, but we continued walking for some time anyway. The hills and sky all looked like an oil painting to me. I was totally content, as this pot had created some very psychedelic feelings in me, and I had yet to take the mushrooms.

After some time we returned to Dave's house, and made ourselves comfortable inside. We had all day and the next to relax and enjoy ourselves, so Yon and I were in no rush to take the mushrooms. The house was comfortable and rustic, and there were two domestic ferrets and a cat there, who were immensely entertaining.

Around 2, Dave and Yon smoked more. I decided to pass, in lieu of a trip uninfluenced by other things. An hour or so passed, and Yon and I decided to take the mushrooms. We had fasted for a day before, so we were expecting a fairly decent trip each. We ate them with orange juice, and although Yon had a little trouble getting his down, we were still in a great mood. We lounged around the house, waiting for their effects. Yon decided to smoke still more. Dave and I accompanied him outside, and I enjoyed the sight of the trees, although I felt no effect apart from fleeting anxiety and cold chills. We went back inside yet again, and lit some incense. I watched the smoke curl gently upward from the tip of the stick, and complained a little that an hour had passed, and I still hadn't felt any distinct effects. Dave looked at me, slightly quizzically. I giggled. Finally, a good sign.

I lay on Dave's bed, and observed the smoke from the incense for a long time. It was beautiful and fragrant, and it seemed to continue forming mushrooms, resembling liberty caps, with the symbol for infinity near the base of the edge of the gills. I murmured that I saw mushrooms in the smoke, and Dave laughed a little. I was content with watching the incense burn, and did so for some time. Yon was fairly high, and said very little. By the look on his face, he was enjoying himself. The vibes from these friends were excellent, and I allowed my mind to wander, as I waited through the come-up. My thoughts became very clear and lucid, and I lost all sense of time. I have little knowledge of when my peak arrived, but I do know that at some point Yon and Dave had left me to watch the smoke, and were elsewhere in the house, or perhaps smoking more. I turned on some techno music, Infected Mushroom in particular, and returned to the bed. I was definitely near my peak. Although there was very little distortion of visuals with my eyes open, apart from a light rippling and a distinct sheen, the visuals that greeted me every time I closed my eyes were splendid. I buried my face in the covers, attempting to eliminate all the light from my vision. This was particularly difficult and distracting, and I will now use my Mindfold for this purpose. Once I was comfortable, I allowed myself to be consumed by both synaesthesia and XTC in my Mind by Infected Mushroom. An intense three dimensional city scape unfolded with every tone of the song, and it glittered and realigned itself continually. At first, I was slightly restless. These visuals were beautiful, but should I be spending my time admiring them, or should I go outside? Should I find Yon and Dave? It seemed very absurd that anyone could ever decide on a single thing to do at any moment in time, because all these options seemed equally promising. I realized these conflicting thoughts were unsettling me, and I then decided to enjoy the visuals for now, and do something else if the mood struck me later.

During my peak, along with admiring visions, my mind was racing through thoughts. I felt tugs on my body from beings I had never encountered before. They began to communicate with me, and I soon realized that they were the minds of everyone inhabiting earth, and anyone who had died, or had yet to be born. I soon met my counterpoint, my mind which existed both on the outside, in this city of three dimensional patterns, and also on earth, in my body. He greeted me casually and in a way which distinguished himself. We exchanged formalities for a while, and then he informed me that my time in this place was short, and that he should explain some things to me before I left. I obliged, and let him speak. He spoke about religion, and about how he was a god, but so was everyone else's consciousness, when they existed on that outer realm. He explained that everyone, regardless of their lives on earth, would return there. He also made an analogy of life on earth being like a vacation to those on the outside, a truly small period of time, but an important one nonetheless. He told me I should always make my best effort towards all things, but in the event I fail, to not worry too much. Eternal bliss was waiting, regardless of any shortcomings in my time on earth. We spoke a little longer about personal matters, and then he bid me farewell. He did mention seeing me again soon.

At this point, the city around me dissolved and receded, and I was left with an image of my own body, lying on the bed, with a maze of chambers spread out inside me. My mind, the consciousness which was taking a vacation on earth, struggled to free itself. It succeeded, and I began ascending, leaving my body. However, halfway through I recalled my earthly self, and I was once again snapped back to my body. I was a little sad about this, because I wanted to leave to join my other self in the beautiful space. This sensation marked the end of my peak. I stood up, feeling immensely happy. I had nothing to worry about, things would take of themselves. I stepped outside and watched the sun glittering on the leaves of the trees. The skyline against the hill I was looking at seemed to be a vibrant painting, so rich and real. Dave's cat found me, and gently head butted my knee, purring loudly. I picked her up and patted her gently on her head. She seemed content to stay with me a while, and snuggled down onto my lap. I stroked her back and enjoyed the smooth feeling of her fur. As she moved, she felt serpentine, like a snake, smooth and glossy. I sat with her for a long time, just looking at the sky and loving everything.

I eventually found my way back inside, where Dave and Yon were relaxing and talking. I grinned at them. "I've met god." I said. "It was me." They seemed to find a fair bit of humor in this, and I sat down with them to talk. As we spoke, I munched a candy bar. It seemed to pixelate in my mouth, and the rhythm of my chewing seemed to be very motorized. I recalled this feeling, "The Candy Feeling" as I've called it, from my first trip. After a while I went to the bathroom, and ended up staring at my reflection for a while. I realized that this was who I was, had always been, and always be. I decided then that there would be no guilt after this trip has ended. "I've experienced too much, gained so much confidence, so much reassurance, there's no way I can feel guilty about this."

The remainder of the evening was spent with me still feeling heavy tryptamine waves, which consisted of mostly body sensations. We played with incense again, this time learning to make smoke rings. (It's easy, pick up a lit stick and move it down quickly, and then up a little gently, it'll shoot a smoke ring into the air!) We did this for a while, and then decided to have another bowl, and got to bed. We smoked the great herb, and a very mushroomy feeling returned to me in force. We then decided to make toasted bagels, a true cure for the munchies. We did this, and we each chose a type of cream cheese to spread on them. Mine was garlic, I think. We ate these together, enjoying our highs and each other's company. After finishing my bagel, I realized I was extremely tired. Dave told me where I could sleep, and I said goodnight, and went to bed. I was extremely comfortable, and ready for a great sleep, with a great day after. I drifted off, amidst closed eye visuals of space invaders and other pixelated creatures.
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