First trip alone

Well, my first flush was finally all dried and ready for ingestion, but my friends backed out on our plans to trip last Saturday. I'd never tripped before, and REALLY wanted to. I didn't want to just get fucked up, I wanted the whole spiritual/mental experience more than anything. So I decided to trip by myself. Yeah, yeah, I know you're not supposed to, but I'd done X by myself the first two times, and I prefer getting stoned alone, because I like to meditate and write when I smoke grass. I'd fasted all afternoon and evening, and drank a shit load of water.

So, that night, I went into my backyard, smoked a bowl, downed 1 1/2 grams, and some Pepto Bismol, just in case. I brought a bottle of water to wash the mushies down, but I found I actually liked the taste (weird?), so I didn't bother. As soon as the first mushie touched my tongue, I felt my brain do a cartwheel. With my eyes open, I saw these three reddish trapezoids formed into a triangle spin slowly in the air towards my face. I swallowed, and everything seemed to settle down for a bit. I smoked a little more, and dropped the rest of the dose.

It hit about 10 mins later, the yard, trees, everything turned hues of gray, and when I looked at the grass there was this kind of fog hanging over it from the ground to about 6 feet up. The fog only appeared when I actually tried to look at the lawn, and it looked weird, like a plaid pattern all out of grey tones.

From the moment I'd put the first mushroom in my mouth, I'd heard a small child laughing/crying from the backyard a few houses down. I was still hearing it, along with doors shutting, people talking, all from the same yard. It wasn't that late, so I figured it couldn't be a hallucination. I decided to take a walk, and on the way past the house, peeked in the yard, but it was empty! But the rest of the night, I kept hearing people back there. Weird as shit.

Anyways, this was about when I started to peak, and this whole time, whenever I closed my eyes, I'd see all kinds of weird patterns, dancing colors, etc., and I kept hearing people walking around, saw shadows that looked like people walking towards me. I found as long as I reminded myself, "Hey, you're trippin,'" I didn't have any problems with freaking out. As I started walking, it felt like I separated from my brain, and I could "look" down at it, and I started playing Q & A with some of the problems/questions I'd struggled with, and it was like my entire mind was as easy to read as a book.

So I got about three blocks from my house (Cops love to patrol my neighborhood), and I realized I was wearing my jacket, and had the rest of my shrooms, my pipe, and 1/2 ounce of pot in the pocket! I started to freak out about the police, and started jogging back home. I saw a pair of headlights drive past on a cross street, then flip a U-turn, and start towards me. I freaked, chucked all my stuff into someone's yard, and started walking down the drivewat like I lived there. Of course, it wasn't a cop, but my freaking out seemed to have killed my peak, because I felt myself coming down. My mind was pretty clear again, and I only saw/heard anything when I closed my eyes.

So I retrieved my stash, etc., and went back home. I took another gram of shrooms, which was a BIG mistake. It started coming back, and I went into my room, lay down, and put a CD on. I just lay there in the music for probably two hours. When I closed my eyes I could physically feel myself falling into the notes, and if I kept them closed for too long I thought I was going to get sucked into the stereo.

About 5:30 in the morning I started to feel sick. Really sick. And I started hallucinating REALLY bad. Everything kept going orange/red and fuzzy, and my ears kept popping, and it hurt like hell every time they did. It was this fucked up cycle, Everything would suddenly look all distorted, my ears would pop, I'd get a sudden belt of nausea, I'd close my eyes, and it'd slowly go away. It just kept repeating for about an hour. I tried eating something, since the mushies were the only thing in my stomach, and i knew they were just sitting in there making me sick.

I wish I'd been able to make myself puke, but after about two hours of agony I was finally able to go to sleep. I woke up yesterday feeling warm and just "together." I still do. Even though I made myself sick, the trip was awesome. It wasn't as spiritual as I wanted, but I think that was because I was too engrossed in all the visuals and stuff.