INTENSE BAD TRIP

It was January of 2006 i believe.  I had done shrooms a few times and fell in love with them.  I decided i wanted to experiment with an intense trip so i decided to take them alone for the first time.  The following is the story of my trip.

I got an 1/8 of some huge shrooms.  2 of them weighed out to an 1/8.  It was about 11 oclock at night so i decided to begin my night.  I ate the first mushy then decided to eat the 2nd also. guess i just wanted to trip balls.  I prepared my room, made sure everything was safe and i prepared a packed bowl too.  i put on wedding crashers and laid down in bed.  I felt fine watching the movie. about 15 mins into it everything got brighter and the walls began to glisten like diamonds which for me is the sign the trip is beginning.  i decide to smoke a quick bowl out my window so the trip hits me harder and faster.  As im smoking i can feel my body going numb.  i lay back down in bed and put the movie back on.  Suddenly the string from my ceiling fan stretched like a snake to the floor and then bounced back up to the ceiling, the visuals had begun.  my blinds on my window appeared to be blowing in the wind(although there was none).  the movie became harder to follow, peoples faces were distorted and their hair looked soaking wet, i could literally see the hair dripping.  I was happily tripping for about 45 mins watching the movie when suddenly vince vaughn in a scene turned dark red, his head appeared to jump out of the tv and look right at me.  He started yelling and directly addressing me.  I was freaked out.  I tried to think happy thoughts but every time i looked back at the tv he was all i saw.  I someone ran up and turned the movie off.  i dont know why but i put QVC on and watched infomercials.  They made no sense and i imagined music that went along with the infomercials.  i was having very bad thoughts about killing myself and being completely alone.  dont ask why but i thought that smoking a bowl might calm me down.  i packed one and reached out my window to smoke...it was winter but i didnt feel cold at all.  I started hittin the bowl and my visuals went crazy.  suddenly i went out of body and saw myself smoking out the window.  i actually watched myself smoke a bowl it was wild.  then i started looking around outside(still separated from my body)... I looked in my front yard which is quite large, the snow covered ground turned into a wide open prarie with a single dead tree in it...suddenly the tree caught fire and the flames soared high...this image will forever be in my brain...i flipped at this point and dove into my bed everytime i looked around i saw something appear...the carpet had faces in it and my sheets were rippling around me...i told myself i would never leave my room but i felt like i had to go to the bathroom.  I started to piss and while i stood over the toilet i felt like i was taking a shower...it felt like water was pouring on me.  then i stared in the mirror for an unknown amount of time possibly imagining my mirror image doing things ( my sense of time and place was gone)...i returned to bed with horrible thoughts in my head.  i sat down and focused as hard as i could to think better.  i thought about god and i actually had a conversation with him in my head.  somehow i came to terms with what was going on at this point and started feeling a little more optimistic.  i put headphones on and laid back down.  i was listening to a dave matthews cd.  i felt like i was on stage singing with him i looked out over the crowd and saw the most beautiful colors shooting out everywhere.  i started feeling better.  i smoked one more bowl and put on this little fog making machine i have in my room and stared at it for a long time, it was real trippy, the fog looked like it was filling the room which i dont believe ever actually happened.  i layed in bed for a few more hours just mind fucking myself.  finally somewhere along the line i fell asleep and my first trip alone had ended...my advice about tripping alone is dont do it...if u insist on trying it always have something to do that u feel comfortable with also have someone to call to talk to if u start having a bad time....also i wish i couldve gone into more detail about this trip but in all reality i cant remember it all, my sense of time was totally gone and i was completely imagining things...happy trippin