wood grains, artificial plants and quantum physics
Let me bring you back to when I first did mushrooms, a month maybe more, but it seems much much longer.
Let me bring you back to when I first did mushrooms, a month maybe more, but it seems much much longer. When I first did mushrooms I was smoking alot of grass and was realizing that I should probaly slow down. I was some what unsure of myself and other around me. Making the some what stupid choice I decided to trip alone. I knew of possible problems that could arise and I could only assume I was prepared to indulge in the mushrooms. I wanted my trip to be different an affirmation of everything I have believed in since I was younger than I am now, I wanted to explore myself and understand the reasons behind the things I do maybe find God. It was a friday night and a storm had blown in the night before leaving the late autumn ground covered in snow. The original plan was to make the three hour car trip up north to visite relatives but due to dangerous driving conditions my parents opted not to risk the drive. In that case I knew of a friend that I could obtain mushrooms from. I rode my bike in the ankle deep snow until I reached the place we were to meet. We made the exchange and I told him I'd see him on monday. My parents rented an old John Candie movie (Planes, Trains and Automobiles) and plugged it into the vcr and started to watch. Just before hand I had ran into my room and chewed up the dried up caps and stems, I for one didn't find the taste to bad it reminded me of un-seasoned sunflower seeds, I drank almost a liter of cool water then ran back downstairs after swallowing one gravol. The movie was playing and I was eating a sandwich that my mother had made for me. The whole family seated around the television i began to come up I was unsure of what the small shivers that were crawling up my spine were at first but i soon identified them. Bursts of energy and almost sensual pleasure shot through my body. The movie seem hallow to me but spots were funny, I recall sitting almost curled up and chewing on my finger and giggiling, as soon as I realized what I was doing i stopped and went the bathroom. I walked in and sat on the toilet and waited I guess I didn't have to go, wierd. I got up and almost feel over in the realization of my legs. I walked slowly and cautiously over the sink and stared into the mirror in wide-eyed wonder at this person staring back. I washed my hands and left the room for the tv. Shortly after leaving the bathroom the visuals had started I looked up to the clock on the wall and noticed only 20 minutes or so had gone by since I'd comsummed the mushrooms. The room suddenly took a drastic change in appearance, it had a red tint, sometimes changing to a purple or blue gazing around one thing caught my eye, the ceiling and the brick of the firplace which was on. I looked into the fire staring into the blazing logs then up the the bricks and the ceiling, they seemed to be humming and vibrating. The ceiling continued to change colors and appeared to be projected on to a white wall. (Imagine a over-head machines projection that is off the white pull down screen and on a textured wall instead). At this point the movie made no sense to me, the picture on the screen changed and the sounds were inaudiable. In one scene I could only understand John Candie's voice and not Steve Martin's whose voice to me sounded like a teacher on The Charlie Brown show. The movie soon ended and I when up to my room quickly. I got in took one look back into the mirrior which contorted my face into something evil and terrifing I turned my head quickly an went to lay in my bed. I grabbed my book and tried to read which was impossible but when I did the words painted glorious pictures in my head of what the book wrote. Decideding reading was far to difficult I turned on my cd player to what ever was in it. I turned out to be Jimi Hendrix and purple haze was he perfect song for the occasion, I stumbled around my room observing things I'd normaly never look twice at. The I looked up and it seemed to be the best thing I could have done. I was overjoyed by the spinning dots moving to the music (and the ceiling ironicly was a purple shade). I stared at it until the song finish then ran down stairs looking for some one to tell what just happened but then I remembered, my parents probalyu wouldn't be too thrilled to figure out their son was using a drug and god forbid an illegal one. My realisation put a damper on my joy but not for long I played with my dog and couldn't help thinking that every person everywhere should have one around when they trip. I ran upstairs to take notes in a book that I write poetry in and stories (none of which are complete). Then I went back downstairs to the basment this time where I was sure I'd be left alone with the exception of my dog. I turned on the tv which was very boring to me. So I became caught up in my thoughs and in the things changing around me. In the basement we have only lino that looks like hard wood and the grain was what my attention was focused on for several minutes. In the corner on the room there is an artificial plan and the grain which was moving in a strange way towards the plant and others were moving back to me. Highways I thought, highways of energy showing me that everything was conected. The plant though artifical was breathing and I was struck by my realisation. I later looked into it and it shares the same (in some ways) ideas of quantum physics, hummmm. I wound up going back up stairs after the simpsons were finished to my room and stared in the mirror. My face was no longer changing but was it my face? I didn't recognize myself, or was it even me. I stared and stared but just couldn't figure out who was staring back through the mirror, did I not know myself. I stared to panic maybe i didn't know myself maybe I was a conformist maybe I was trying to be someone I was not. The whole idea was giving me very bad vibes. I decided to leave the room but still shaken from the mirror. I went on the computer to chat and there was a girl online whom I felt particularly close to so we talked and i told her almost everything until she had to leave. I was comming down but it was the first time I noticed it, I was relived but I didn't want to leave my new reality just yet. I hadn't figured out what I wanted to. I certainly wasn'ta wasted trip but I think I was too caught up in the visual effects to have lerned what I indeed wanted to. But one conclusion I have come to is I dont' think the way to God is through psychedelics but I think they can show you the path. Peace out every one and happy tripping. (I wanted to expand more on my thoughts and feelings over the course of the trip but left them out for the most part due to lenght, and over the course of the whole eveing i was being called to go outdoors the urge was extremly strong. Next trip my plan is to go outdoors.)