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wise mother

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I had been planning to take shrooms for about a year and a half, reading everything i could about their effects and planning a perfect time to finally try them. The date came in January, at my boyfriend's suite over winter break...perfect time, we decided, because not many people would be on campus, and we would have no schoolwork to stress us out.
The day came...stan (my boyfriend) had recieved an 1/8 that we were going to split. neither of us had ever done shrooms before, but our four companions had. everyone who had tried this batch of mushrooms had said it was very intense, and very positive...so stan and 2 of his roomates and i ate the mushrooms at about 1:30 (we wanted to experience our trip during the day).
after eating the shrooms, the four of us headed to the main room of the suite, where i felt myself starting to shake a little bit. i curled up on the couch and started sucking my thumb (not in a nervous way, in a calming way), and after about 40 minutes i decided i wanted to go into another room with stan because his roomates were being very active, running around the room and such, and i wanted to be in a quiet area
i hopped up onto stan's bed and suddenly noticed that the ceiling was swirling around. glancing around the room, i was surprised to see that EVERYTHING was swirling and moving in very interesting ways...the wood on the dresser seemed to be made of rivers, the carpet pulsated and swirled, and parts of stan's ok computer poster glowed and seemed three dimentional. while i quietly took this all in, trying to get rid of my nausea, stan's roomates burst in and announced they had defeated time! (they had really unplugged all the clocks). this sent stan and i into fits of giggles and shouts of triumph. on e of his roomates then dissapeared, and reappeared in the room holding his phone, which he promptly smashed on the wall into bits and peices. Im not sure what he was trying to accomplish by doing this, but it was hilarious
around then, two more guys stopped by and ate their shrooms...there were now six of us, five boys, and me, the only girl. the four friends decided to go outside, but i was afraid for awhile to get off the bed, so stan sayed in the room with me, amusing himself with a red napkin. at one point we decided we had to go to the bathroom, so we took the journey together...we both decided that the bathroom was a bad place, and did our business as quickly as possible, while the tiles on the floor shifted around and the towels on the wall seemed to be swimming into themselves. as i had heard horror stories about looking in the mirror, i purposely avoided it.
we went back into the bedroom, where i sat back on the bed and realized that my glasses were melting into my face...i found this very hilarious. i also saw sparkles everywhere, and i was amazed by a pear that sat on the windowsill. Stan pleaded with me for almost an hour to go outside (for some reason i refused for awhile...i may have been scared of the cold, or possibly of the carpet, i dont really recall). after dubbing me "betsy of the bed", we finally made our way into the outer world
it was like entering a new world. we opened the door and there were all four of the other boys. two were running around, laughing, one was sitting down looking thoughtful, and one was perched in the branches of a tree, munching on some leaves. we decided that we would go on a journey to the "great tree", a very old, large tree in the middle of campus.
around now the trip began to lose its visual importance and focus more on thoughts. that is, i could still see everything swirling, but i was getting used to it. i started to feel very wise, but not in an arrogant sort of way. i explained to the boys that i felt like a wise mother, and they agreed that i had sort of a wise motherly quality about me.
once we reached the tree we all sort of hit child stage and just began having fun. there was at least one person swinging in its branches at every minute of the two hours we spent there. stan discovered a bunch of bugs in the tree and that kept him occupied for awhile. i kept making little discoveries, such as "ooh, look, i have a tongue!" and "i like being a girl!" at one point i looked over towards the main road and noticed some neon lights, which disturbed me. at another point i reached into my coat pocket and felt something cold in there. i said "ew, what are these cold, icky things in my pocket?/" and took them out. they were a bunch of quarters, and i threw them away, disgusted. i then proceeded to replace them with leaves. One of stan's friends thought that this was amazing...he actually threw his change away later, after the trip, because he decided that money was stupid.
the rest of the trip was fun, alot more childlike feelings and pretending i was seven years old. throughout the whole trip i was very happy, very content with myself, and with nature, and very discontented with technology. these feelings have not subsided. the best part about the trip was the feeling of liking myself and knowing myself a bit better afterwards. in the past few days, i have stopped and noticed things like berries on a tree, or the color of the sky, when i would not have noticed them before. i have also taken great pleasure in the companionship of my dog...during the trip i somehow came to the realization that domestic animals are probably very bored all the time, so i have been trying to make my dog's life a little better.
finally, and i know this sounds cheesy, during the trip i felt an unbreakable bond with stan. its like i knew we were meant to be together. this was not a romantic, gaze into each other's eyes feeling...it was more a feeling of companionship and contentness with our relationship. afterwards he told me he had noticed the same thing.
i would definitely reccommend shrooms. however, i think that it helped ALOT that i had read about them before, because i was not unpleasantly surprised by anything that happened, and when things scared me, such as a jurassic park book, i knew what to do so that i would not spiral into a bad trip. it also was crucial that i knew and trusted my companions, and those that i did not know very well, stan (someone i trust) trusted them. next time i shroom i want to do it when it's warm outside, so i can spend the whole time in nature, and so that there will be more vivid colors, instead of the grey that surrounded everything this time. all in all, this was an extremely positive experience, and i think it made me a calmer, more positive person.

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