I am writing this as a report of my previous experiences with mushrooms along with memories of a trip I went on yesterday. Basically consider this little "editorial" to be a warning for anyone who hasn't had a bad experience with mushrooms yet, because my opinion of the drug has changed dramatically after what happened to my friends and I yesterday. I will divide this report into two sections. One explaining the experiences I had during the trip(s) and one describing the unexpected experience that my friend had (which is what changed my opinion of how we should look at this mysterious fungi).
In previous trip reports, I, myself (personally) have never had a bad trip, and the reason I did and still play around with psilocybin is because I believe it brings out another world within. To us, the earth as it is under no influence or, as some like to put it, while we're in "our right minds" is still a beautiful place, yet for some reason we do not appreciate the intricate complexity of it. Whenever I trip on shrooms I have always had a connection with nature.
On previous trips I was at one with the trees and I seemed to appreciate them at another level. Their beauty could not be matched by anything manmade, and through this world of insincerity, to me, most of the time the only thing that can remind us of what is true and pure is nature itself. There is nothing more honest and marvelous than the world we live in (the trees, the sky, the grass, etc.). Somehow the mushroom experience, if one allows it to, can bring out this appreciation for where we live and why we stay living.
When I tripped yesterday, I had the same personal experience. While I was walking along the pavement and in the grass outside my house, I found myself being marvelled by the intricate little rock patterns that form our sidewalks and roads. I was incredibly surprised that through nineteen years of my life I had never noticed this before.
Later on that day I went over to a friend's house for a backyard party. In the backyard next to his there was a beautiful flower bed that seemed to just sprout up out of nowhere. I knew it had been there before, but for some reason I had never really appreciated it. In it there were thousands of beautiful red and orange flowers. They were vibrant with life. I then looked at the sky and it was a perfect shade of blue.
During this trip I also looked at my friends differently. I appreciated their presence just as much as the nature around me. There was about 5 or 6 of us who had taken shrooms that day. Once I stopped staring at the beautiful world around me I realized that one of my friends was having a predominately bad experience.
My friend's experience:
I cannot explain what happened to my friend (we'll call him X) through his eyes yet something within him was brought about by the shrooms. Something I had never experienced before with any of the other people I'd tripped with before.
X, in my opinion, has always been a very imaginative person. Even though he has grown up to be an adult now, he still often acts and thinks like a child in certain ways. He is mature yet he seems to be one of the few people who never lost that wonderful imagination we have when we're kids. I always envied him for that, since without the influence of anything, he still seemed to appreciate imaginative things. Maybe this is why his taking the drug was a bad idea.
I and some other guys took the shrooms together at the backyard party (that I explained earlier) at about 6:00 pm. We only had about 1-1.5 dried grams each.
I was amazed to see the differences between how people reacted. X seemed normal at first.. He had been drinking before consumption and he was already a little drunk which I don't think helped him out too much. After about an hour he started to get a little weird. At this point it was just funny. He was passing out all over the place, his words weren't making any sense. He had a strange stare on his face most of the time... it was scary at time to look at him. I had no idea what he was thinking because when he talked it made no sense.
At first I was convinced that he was just drunk and he wasn't even really feeling the shrooms much because I had seen him act sort of like this before after drinking alcohol. Something was different, however.. it was as if he was out of control. He ran to the front of the house and fell on the pavement and cut the back of his head open and we had to carry him back to the backyard. If we took our eyes off of him he would be back running out of control again.
We all decided it would be wise to just take him home and put him in bed, so one of the sober people at the party drove him home. This, in turn, was a terrible mistake. After we dropped him off we came back to the party and everything was cool for a while. A friend and I decided to go for a walk and on our walk X's mother came in a car and stopped beside us, crying. Apparently X had run out of his house after we dropped him off and was running down the middle of the street dodging cars because he thought he was being chased by something (from what I heard, it was leprechauns). His mother dropped him in our arms and drove home crying.. I felt horrible since if we had not given him the shrooms this would never have happened, but I also felt very thankful that X had not gotten hurt when he was running around on the busy street.
After this most of us went downtown and left the party while a couple of my friends looked after X. It was scary to look at him because it was as if he was a different person when he was on shrooms. I still don't know if it was mostly the alcohol that had some effect on him, but it scared me to think that someone could be so out of control and in their own little world that they would run out into a busy street and almost get killed.
My "new" opinion of the magic mushroom:
After everything that happened in the last couple of days I now feel more educated about substances, and I understand first hand why some of us may be better off just being sober all the time. It is those little scares like the one I explained above that seem to happen inevitably when we take drugs.
I still believe that mushrooms are an excellent way of tapping into that "other world" within us, but we must let ourselves do this. Without any knowledge of what you are taking and its effects, one can go crazy. Please believe people when they tell you that shrooms are not something for emotionally unstable people to take. They are dangerous just because they are unpredictable. This is also what can make them so wonderful, however. I also learned from this experience that at least semi-sober companionship is completely necessary when one of your friends is tripping. I now know that dropping my friend off at home was the worst thing we could've done since we then left him alone and out of control which I believe just brought out more anxiety in him.
I always find myself asking questions about why we take these poisons? Some people I find just take mushrooms so they can be "fucked" up. They may not really appreciate everything that's going on during the trip.. They are just appreciating the fact that things are different from the hum-drum life we normally live in. I feel this is not a way to use this drug at all. If you are only taking shrooms as an escape from reality you aren't benifitting at all. You are wasting your time, in my opinion. A 6 hour escape can only be healthy if you contemplate what's happening to you during that escape.
Mushrooms are indeed an escape, but they are a different kind of escape from reality. When we take alcohol we are under a haze and our inhibitions are gone, much like marijuana. Few people, however, can say that they really got anything out of an alcohol experience except maybe they got laid or just had a good time. This is fine and dandy, because that is what alcohol should be used for, in my opinion. Alcohol is a "no care" drug. When we drink it our cares are gone out the window and we don't notice anything.. we only act on instinct.
With shrooms, however, it is much different. People should not treat this fungus like alcohol. Shrooms are a total "care" drug. If you don't appreciate what is going on, and what you're seeing on your trip, and if you don't take what you've seen and use it in sober reality to your advantage, you have not gotten anything (in my opinion) out of the trip. For instance, in my case, I now appreciate nature and friendly companionship much more because I went into my mushroom trip wanting to appreciate subtleties like those.. little things we take for granted.
I'm sorry, this is getting really long and most likely no one has read this far but hey, I had to get my opinions out somewhere because the mushroom is such a mysterious thing and I find it is being misused everywhere. If we use it under safe environments and expect to get something out of our "escape" I think they can be a wonderful thing.