never again shaw i perform such stupidity

My first and definitely last experience with shrooms happened exactly one year ago. Although it was a long time ago I remember ever detail as if it happened yesterday. A friend of mine (Doug) bought the shrouds and arrived at my house later on that night to pick me up. I was with another friend (Andrew) at my house who really desired to experience shrouds, however i felt very sceptical about the whole situation. I ve had a few bad trips on weed so you can only imagine how sensitive i am to drugs. i also am a very paranoid person naturally i worry about my health and i spend long periods of time puzzling my self over questions involving the beginning, the creator and so on.

We arrived at my friends house at about 10:30 pm at this time i was having serious doubts about taking the shrouds, i felt enormous anxiety and a freighting feeling of hostility towards everyone around me. My friend Doug ( who by the way is no longer a friend of mine after this experience) kept pressuring and reassuring me into consuming the shrooms, by using techniques such as "Everybody’s doing it" and "If you don’t do it the experience for us wont be the same". Finally at about 11:00 pm I gave in and consumed a chocolate bar he made filled with shrooms. I can only sit and wonder at this moment how much I took because there was no way of telling how much was in my part of the bar, all I know is he put 3 g of shrooms between 3 people and we all had equal amounts of the drug.

From what I remember it took about 20-30 minutes for the drug to kick in the initial effects had a negative response on my mind, I began to worry uncontrollably and felt an amazing and unreasonable sense of entrapment. I immediately stated I needed to go to the nearby hospital and get the drugs pumped out of my stomach. My friends took my frantic proposition as hilarious, they started to laugh (which at the time I believed was at me) I immediately felt this strange indescribable hostility towards both of them, especially my friend Doug who had tricked me into this experience I felt like this was an attempt of his to poison me, or cause some sort of harm to me. At this point the feeling of entrapment was uncontrollable I needed to escape, I needed to find someone or something that helped me uproot these feeling of hostility and entrapment. I felt helpless I felt like there was no one on this planted, in this universe that could save me, I felt that I will never return to my old self I felt fear and anxiety. It was an indescribably feeling.
At this point I felt confused I needed some wear to feel save and secure. The answer to this problem was off course very simple the near by emergency room which was filled with skilled professionals. This facility would provide the security I longed for.
I have no recollection of what time it was when we left the house but looking back on it know I suppose it was about 15 minutes after 11 o'clock. We when outside and the change in environment helped me relax for a while I remember the feeling of hostility escaping me and a feeling of well-being settling in. unfortunately this only lasted a few minutes (maybe even less) before I started to believe that I am in even greater danger know that I was outside. (For anyone reading this to even come close to comprehending how I felt at that particular time he/she must consider the not so obvious fact that I am a control freak. I have an enormous fear of not being in control I dislike car rides with someone else driving I despise any sort of air traveling, and I always prefer to be the control in any given situation). Because of this drug i had lost all control and understanding of my body this is what scared me the most i believed that i was stuck like this forever there was no going back in time.
Looking back on the trip know i don’t recall any strange visual or vocal hallucinations and i thank god for that. Except a feeling of being extremely buzzed there was a feeling of slow motion. I felt things were going in slow motion, also a slight dizziness.

Anyways we wondered around the neighbourhood for a while and a sense of confusion settled in I felt like nothing made sense. I felt the need to be home in my house surrounded by family I then realized a very important reality about human behaviour the things we do are all related to emotion feelings we have towards others or ourselves. Love or the absence of love is what motivates us humans to perform the distinct behaviours we poses. The trip ended about an hour or two after that, however ever since that day I have felt different. Not sure what it is but I know there is something different in a way it feels as if I know something no one is suppose to know.

I will never again in my life try any type of mind altering drug since this experience I have not smoked weed or taken any other drug the only thing I’ve done is occasional drinking to relax. I would suggest to anyone who is faced with the question of should I to really think if he is willing to take a chance with his life his reality and everything he believes in.