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My last day on earth

I was being an idiot.

I was being an idiot. I was alone in my condo, and I was in a kind of rough patch in my life. My mom had died perhaps 5 or 6 months earlier, my girlfriend and i were on the verge of breaking up, and i had had a shitty week altogether. I only ate approximately 2.5 to 3 grams, and chased them with a big, fat joint. i started tripping immediately. I was on my computer, and i was instantly contemplating how my computer was a metaphor for god. I was having an amazing night. at one point, I was standing in front of a mirror, and my entire field of vision was covered with tiny transparent cirles.... each one outlined in a rainbow. It was amazing. Playing with my cat was great, too. I have an unexplainable bond to the ancient egyptian views on the cat. Case in point, I was tripping balls. Then I mada the mistake of trying to go to sleep to see what my dreams would be like. As I lay, I wasn't able to keep my eyes shut. I felt like I was falling through my bed, and the lights on my roof morphed in and out as cars drove by on the bridge by my building. My thoughts were swirling, and eventually began to loop. It got to the point where i had linked electronica, computers, science, grand theft auto 3, politics,my mom's death and religion to my own existence. I understood the entire universe so well at that moment that i thought i was going to die. I spent the remainder of my trip throwing up from nervosity, thinking that it was my time to go. At that point in my life, I was a hardcore athiest, and in those moments of terror, I feared death.

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