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Died and saw life

Hi !

Hi ! Last Saturday i changed forever, i tried mushrooms for the very first time. 2 grams of very potent Psilocybe semilanceata. After some monhts of mentally preparation i finally felt ready to test mushrooms. I spent alot of time talking to friends who was experienced with this, to get an idea what to excpect (which i realized was totally unnessecary). 30 minutes after eating 1 gram, and not really feeling anything, i decided to double the dose. Another 30-40 minutes passed before i felt a warm feeling good feeling inside. At this point im sitting with friends of mine. 3 rookies and 1 experienced. My experienced friend didnt take anything because he wanted to look after us. 1 hour after the second gram and im experiencing pretty intense hallucinations, and my 2 other friends decides to join me. My body feels like jelly and i struggle to sit up. I keep drifting in and out of the hallucinations and a trance like feeling. But for every round im drifting in and out its getting stronger and more intense. And i realize that with this phase its going to be really heavy, but at the same time no clue on whats happening other than the good feeling. The feeling of not having control starts to freak me out so i decide to find a quiet place where i put on a couple of spiritual cds.
The music spins me into a intense trance which differs from beeing a heavinly feeling to a death-like feeling. My mind gets stuck on the uncontrol issue which convinces me that i have gotten wrong types of mushrooms and that im dying. Im desperatley trying to scream to my friend to wake me up but all i feel is death coming closer. The feeling gets more intense and accumulates with a blue sparkling light and total peace and quiet. Im am now touching life, i can also see life. The feeling is so intense that i start to cry. Then i freak out that im not dreaming but really experiencing it. Suddenly something drags me to another place, all going very fast, as i feel what only can be described as massive g-forces dragging me.
I can see my own thoughts.Which looked like transparent card-like forms with the name of the thought, millions in a giant space. I remember "chose" a thought with my kids name on it and the same g-forces dragged me back in time when i was a kid and back and fourth up to my kids birth.

I have never been so scared in my life but at the same time never felt so at peace and harmony.


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