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by myself, first trip

Ok, it was a lonely Saturday.



Ok, it was a lonely Saturday... my special lady had to go eat lunch with her mother, and I would be going to work later, at 6pm. There were a few freshies at my bedside, and I was extremely bored/lonely, not knowing what to do.
I decided to finally try the EQ's, for taste and to test them, see if they were toxic. I took an incredibly small amount, maybe about ten TINY little things. maybe 1/4 the size of my pinkie. These things were small. Ok, I think one was a little bigger, but you get the idea. A little later (10 min) i decided to eat the rest because I thought it would be a waste not to. I guess i was secretly hoping for a trip, but i was also hoping for one not to come on, i had to go to work later. I was torn between these two things, but I decided that if I would, it would be OK, because my mind was clear, I had no distractions (i was home alone) and I was in a good mood. Well, i was laying in bed, and after about half an hour the phone rang. It was the Marines guy trying to get me to sign up. Well, turns out I had a GREAT conversation with him! He was really nice and very understanding, and I showed him the same respect. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I REALLY enjoyed the conversation with him. I watched TV for a little while, I watched a little of Mrs. Doubtfire, and giggled at it. Placebo effect, I though. Then, maybe 45 min to 1 hour I started to feel VERY anxious, like if I layed in bed any longer, I would explode. I came here and told my friends my situation. Yes, turns out I was gonna trip. Shit. Yay. At the same time. My mom was coming home in about an hour and a half, and I was undressed, unshowered, and about to trip. I decided I had a mission and had to fulfil it. I quickly went to the bathroom and turned on the water. The feeling was overcoming me. I was getting incredibly anxious, but I was incredibly happy at the same time. It was about to finally happen!!! I was all alone and noone could disturb me. I looked in the mirror and my pupils were already big. I hopped in the shower and had a FUN time cleaning myself. ha ha. It was kind of weird. After the cleaning, I put my head under the water and watched it run off of my head and swirl down to the tub. The swirling and twisting of the water intruiged me. I was spacing out on it for a while, but decided I had much to do, and had to leave. I got dressed, made my bed, and decided I would go for a walk to the park. It was the last warm day of the season, thankfully. I got dressed, got my headphones, and was ready. BUT THEN... I COULDN'T FIND MY KEYS! SHIT! i was already kind of tripping lightly and I had to call my mom to get spare keys. She told me they were in her purse. I dumped all the shit out of two of them, but later found out I was looking in the wrong purses. I had really fast music playing on the headphones, and I was also going REALLY fast, almost panicking, because I wanted to leave sooooo bad! I then knew what it meant to want to go outside soo bad on a trip. I took off the headphones, took deep breaths, and told myself it was gonna be OK, but had to calm down first. I finally just left without locking the door. When I went outside, it was another world. EVERYTHING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL! There were greens, reds, yellows! OH! The sky did not have a cloud in it, and the sun was about two hours away from setting, and it was a magnificent yellow. The grass was greener than I had ever seen it, and all the trees were high in the sky, and spreading across it, as if waving hello to me. I saw kids ride by on bikes, and I had to take a bite out of my apple not to smile ear to ear, because it made me so euphoric, seeing kids playing. Every person I passed I wanted to say "hello" or "nice day" to, but I refrained. I wasn't tripping that hard at all, but I was incredibly euphoric and satisfied. I looked at all the buildings, and it was as if the buildings, sky, grass, people were all in one world, and the cars in another. I didn't think they were evil or anything, just another creation of man, and that man is a creation of nature, and anything we create is a part of nature and there is no such thing as "bad technology". I was walking to the park, listening to Rancid, and the singer was singing with a renewed passion. I think I said to myself "yeah i know what he's talking about. He's talking about love/life" or some silly, funny shit. When I walked, it was as if I was standing still and the world was moving for me to where I wanted to go. It was very subconcious. My arms were semi-stiff, but I was completely in control. It was like being mildly stoned, but VERY euphoric, and VERY clear headed, thinking about everything. I decided that no weed high was as nice, that weed just clouds your thinking (even though it is nice to get high, it's just different). Well, after walking with a permanent smile for about 8 blocks or so, I got to the park and got on a swing. The sun got redder, it was getting closer to setting. I looked at the children playing and at the grass, the sky, the trees. I swung on the swing for a few minutes, and I stared into the sun. It was beautiful and circular. It was perfect. I could imagine it being a tiny atom revolving around other atoms, smashing into things. I slowed swinging and changed the cd to "mechanical animals" don't ask why, I don't know. I also brought "a momentary lapse of reason", but didn't listen to it, because it's not realllly my baaag, maaaan. I sat on the bench and ate my chocolate bar. I looked at the empty park, and thought some more. After a few more minutes, I decided to go back home. I had peaked. Halfway home, I got tired of MM, and decided to listen to "Here We Are" by A Global Threat. I was switching the cd's at a busy intersection, and dropped all my cd's. oops. how embarrassing. ha ha. I went home. When I got home, it had been an hour later. It felt like longer. I thought my mom had gotten home, but noone had. Sweet. I accidentally left BOTH doors open in my furor. ha ha. oopth. well, after about ten minutes at home I came down all the way and shared my experience with my special lady and a few people here. I was amazing, and I was perfectly ok to go to work a few hours later. The whole ordeal lasted about two and a half hours. Like I said, it was VERY mild, but INCREDIBLY satisfying, especially alone, first time. I didn't really learn anything I didn't know, but I guess I acquired a bit of compassion from the trip. It was everything I wanted it to be. After that, I decided everyone in the world should try them at least once. Well, thanks for listening.

DD

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