a week ago, i did 2 grams od psilocybe cubensis, mostly stems. in the past, i
have found that stems cause more mental effects, and that caps are more visual,
and whether this is actually true or not, i didn't have much hope. about half an
hour later, i started to feel very high, giggly. begged my friends to tell me a
story about transvestite leprechauns, but they ignored me, so i entertained
myself focusing on my hand, a new and amazing activity that kept me entertained
until we had to leave.
decided to see a movie, something i regret doing on shrooms. In the bathroom,
staring at the stars on the carpet, i discovered thhat there were two sides to
the sober side, the
everyday half, and the side that i can only access through hallucinogens and
good weed, the side that held all the truths in the world. Every time i took a
step forward, i accessed this half, everytime i took a step back, i accessed the
This seems to have
a parallel in real life- that thinking in a new and radical way is always a step
forward, but that thinking the way you lways have and the way that everyone else
does is a step nowhere, even back.
The theatre itself was curved, with high seats on a sharp angle upwards.
There was a trailer for a mystery movie with cops playing, and i started to
think that we were in court, with the judges and witnesses being broadcast to us
via satellite, so i hid behind a seat to avoid trial.
When the movie started, i got the distinct
sensation that we were in a box, with a hole in the front instead of the screen,
looking down on real life from a safe and protected place, judging it without
being seen. This led to the realisation that this is all any human is- a moving
mass with a window in the front, with a crowd of little judges inside, all
making decisions and causing emotions that are completely unimportant as soon as
the scene is over.
were very poor, the film took on a very polished, cartoony look, my friends kept
disappearing from the edges of my field of vision. Every time i saw something
crawling across my body or changing colour, i'd try to focus on it, but the
screen was constantly in the way. Im sure it would have been far better had i
not had that to distract me from my trip. oh vell.