waste

a week ago, i did 2 grams od psilocybe cubensis, mostly stems. in the past, i have found that stems cause more mental effects, and that caps are more visual, and whether this is actually true or not, i didn't have much hope. about half an hour later, i started to feel very high, giggly. begged my friends to tell me a story about transvestite leprechauns, but they ignored me, so i entertained myself focusing on my hand, a new and amazing activity that kept me entertained until we had to leave.

We had decided to see a movie, something i regret doing on shrooms. In the bathroom, staring at the stars on the carpet, i discovered thhat there were two sides to my brain-

the sober side, the everyday half, and the side that i can only access through hallucinogens and good weed, the side that held all the truths in the world. Every time i took a step forward, i accessed this half, everytime i took a step back, i accessed the sober side.

This seems to have a parallel in real life- that thinking in a new and radical way is always a step forward, but that thinking the way you lways have and the way that everyone else does is a step nowhere, even back.

The theatre itself was curved, with high seats on a sharp angle upwards. There was a trailer for a mystery movie with cops playing, and i started to think that we were in court, with the judges and witnesses being broadcast to us via satellite, so i hid behind a seat to avoid trial.

When the movie started, i got the distinct sensation that we were in a box, with a hole in the front instead of the screen, looking down on real life from a safe and protected place, judging it without being seen. This led to the realisation that this is all any human is- a moving mass with a window in the front, with a crowd of little judges inside, all making decisions and causing emotions that are completely unimportant as soon as the scene is over.

The visuals were very poor, the film took on a very polished, cartoony look, my friends kept disappearing from the edges of my field of vision. Every time i saw something crawling across my body or changing colour, i'd try to focus on it, but the screen was constantly in the way. Im sure it would have been far better had i not had that to distract me from my trip. oh vell.