So. I put about an 1/8th of mushrooms in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
About an hour later....
We were watching "Tommy
Boy", and the walls started moving in and out towards me, and the ceiling
was very interesting. This was just the start. I was very unsettled, and was
trying my hardest to be somewhat content and calm. Things were not good, though.
Whenever anything "bad" happened on the movie we were watching, I got
very upset. Chris Farley's shirt was blobbing everywhere and moving and it
wasn't right. I couldn't stop laughing at some things I kept thinking about, and
no one else was on anything, so I was predominantly behaving as an ass. I looked
at the ceiling and the grooves of paint looked more like thousands of doves wing
to wing, and they were spinning around in a perfect circle around the light
fixture in the center of the ceiling. I looked down again, and there were
"flowers" blossoming out of nowhere all over the place, the colors
were very intense, and the walls were going like mad. I was laughing
hysterically, but I wasn't happy. I was still very uncomfortable inside.
I went outside in the backyard to the field, and sat on the
grass. I looked at the brick wall and it was moving and swirling as usual, and
then eyes appeared. Indian eyes. I looked on the grass, and I saw the eyes
there, too. I was awe stricken, so I just fell onto the grass. I looked into the
heavens and the colors were blue and orange and yellow and red, and it was
incredible. The clouds were quite soupy, and I thought it was beautiful. I put
my hands in the dirt and decided I needed to become a gardener.
I was having a good time overall, but inside I still felt empty. Like I
needed something more. Then I forgot who "I" was. I couldn't really
even remember, or prove that "I" even existed. I fell on the grass
again and closed my eyes. I felt very south western, like a rancher or
something.
I got home around 5 o'clock, and the shrooms
should've been wearing off at around 7. I wanted things to stop now, so I could
just find peace and calm again...but I knew I had longer to go. So I cooked some
food and listened to "Death in Vegas".
I never
eat mushrooms to have "fun". I know things will usually be quite
intense, and since I'm not a very social person to begin with, I fuck up around
people when I'm on them. I just laugh and fall around and act like a jackass.
That's why I recommend not eating them with alot of people. They are a powerful
spirituality, and not to be used casually around "friends" to get
"high". Being alone was the most content time during my experience,
letting the earth speak to me on a personal level. Be serious.
