I'd rate this as a level 2 trip. Well, it happened last Sunday. First, a little background.
I'm 35, blind, being treated for depression and anxiety disorder. However, I've
always wanted to go on a psychedelic trip. I researched as much as I could. I decided in
favor of the "magic mushroom" experience, rather than acid.
Because I've been blind since birth, I wondered if a trip would allow me
to "see", that is to imagine what sight might be like--particularly color.
After eating about eight mushrooms, I waited. I was a little nervous, but also excited as this is
something I've always wanted to do but never had the opportunity before.
I didn't feel any nausea or anything. After a while, I started laughing about almost
every line of dialogue in the "Star Trrek" episode I was listening to. I couldn't
understand why the characters were so angry. Why be angry about anything, I was thinking. By the way,
that is not normal for me. I was very relaxed--but where were the hallucinations?
I asked my husband, who is also blind and who has done shrooms before.
He said "Be patient." Okay, I went with it. Soon, everything began to
feel pretty. I felt small and dainty. Standing out on my balcony, my long
nightgown, moved by Maui's gentle trade winds, became for me a
wedding gown. My head was filled with Aladdin's lamp, a sense of great
beauty. Not visual; emotional. At midnight, I went for a walk around
the complex where I live. Hawaii, beautiful anyway, felt more so to me. I just had to be
outside. I felt in no way "on drugs", "stoned" or high. I felt
absolutely in control. I didn't even feel the anxiety I would have
normally felt when I discovered that I had gotten turned around
in the parking lot. I thought: So what? I'll figure it out, and in
the meantime, I'll enjoy this beautiful Hawaiian night.
When a lady drove into the complex, I waved an
aloha, and she stopped. I asked her if she could get me back on track.
Then I told her I'd done some shrooms, that I was feeling wonderful, and
wanted to go for a walk. So, that's what we did. Not immediately back to my place,
but around the block. Still, no hallucinations.
I got back inside, lay down on the couch and Wham! What felt like
light began to shine upon my head, about where
the third eye is. I have never seen light, but
that's what it felt like to me. Light. I realized then, that
Mother Earth was gentle, God is good, and there was nothing to
worry about. I felt little-kid happy for the first time in a long
time. I realized intuitively, not judgmentally, that I was sometimes
cross with my kids because they had this
little-kid happiness, and I had grown up and lost mine. I realized
that I envied them their youth, their lightness of heart,
and their sight. This realization was gentle, not
shaming. The couch I lay on seemed to rock me in its arms.
The air smelled like chocolate. Beautiful presences were near me.
I felt a loving God smiling above me.
I came down gently, and went to bed.
To tell the truth, I have experienced more anxiety or paranoia on
marijuana and coffee. I wish my doctor could
prescribe psilocybin for my depression
and anxiety disorder rather than Paxil. Or both.
Perhaps I had beginner's luck; I don't know. But it was wonderful,
and I am, at this writing, definitely a psilocybe fan.