It wasn't planned, this trip I took. Aside from reading the posts on this site a few hours before we started, I hadn't done much research on the matter. I had stopped doing drugs in all forms 4 years ago after 2 terrible experience on xtc so to say I was a little nervous about taking shrooms would be an understatement.
My boyfriend had taken the same stuff a few nights before but in a much larger dose. He said it was "intense." I assumed it was the same sort of "intense" panic or bad feelings that I had felt on X so I was terribly turned off by the idea of trying them. Reluctantly, I gave in and we headed out.
My stomach was in knots. I could hardly stand the thought of doing any kind of drug again but here I was, riding out to the lake with my bestfriend and my boyfriend with no other intent than to trip. I hadn't eaten all day and I was feeling pretty bad as it was, though my boyfriend reinforced that as a good thing.
When we arrived at our destination, I started feeling even worse. What was this going to be like? Am I going to be sick? Am I going to be able to handle this? Is there any way this could kill me? It took at least 20 minutes of coaxing to get me to eat the mushrooms... I could tell my boyfriend and bestfriend were getting a little annoyed at me. The only thing that gave me solace was the fact that my bestfriend was there strictly to babysit me and my boyfriend against any of the trouble we could get into so I finally ate the distastful little things and started trying to distract myself in order to relax and get my mind off the coming experience.
My boyfriend encouraged me to smoke up with him and my bestfriend. Just like everything else, I was reluctant but going solely on his judgement and experiences, I agreed.
I'm not sure when it hit me. I was messing with my laptop trying not to think... at all. I was hot, then cold, then hot, then numb.. but I was okay. I'd babysat my boyfriend and his friends last Halloween and after seeing how completely incopacitated they were I was waiting on the same to happen to me.
I kept waiting for something bad to happen, like all the other times I had done The Drugs. I watched the visual display as it danced in rhythm to the music that was playing on my laptop. I was still waiting on something terrible to happen when my friend announced it was time to head home. I was relieved!! I had made it all this time and nothing bad had happened which must mean I was going to be okay!!!!!
On the way back I noticed the moon was red. That's a bad omen I thought... I decided not to think anymore after that.. thinking was bad. So, I began to sing along with every song that came on. I knew all the words... kinda like when I'm drunk. Amazing. And suddenly there was an unusual beauty to every reflective roadsign we passed. Pretty roadsigns.. pretty tracers but not like on X. No, those were bad, evil, demon filled tracers. The stars were soooo pretty. Little holes to heaven. So simple. Am I still on drugs? No... couldn't be. I felt good, drugs make me feel bad.
I don't remember much after we got into town. I had my eyes closed with my head tilted back so I could see the flashes of light as we passed under the obnoxious street light that had suddenly become so pretty. It reminded me of San Antonio and my boyfriend driving 150, as he kept up with a Corvette when we came back from Padre.
Happiness. . .
My bestfriend dropped us off and I came home to a house full of 16 y/o's. My sis and her friends were watching a movie with some kind of green monster who talked to donkies?? I'm not sure. My boyfriend and I retired to my room. He was nervous about the kids in the other room. I couldn't figure out why. I hooked my laptop back up and asked him to sign online for me but he looked at me as if he no longer understood english. So, we watched t.v., deciding to keep things simple.
There are strange things on cable on Saturday nights. I learned that I could change the channel upside down with my toes. And, I was happy among other things. Happy to be in his arms. Happy to be safe at home. I was intoxicatedly in love with him. Everything about him. I'd always loved him but he was so perfect as I lay curled up in his arms. I could not get close enough to him. I think he felt the same way.
I fell into the strangest euphoric sleep. I remember him waking me when he left to head home and I felt so sad to see him go but so happy to have had him.
I awoke today feeling dizzy and weak. Most likly because I haven't eaten anything a over 24 hours. But I feel like I'm a better person? As if I've learned something about myself that I can't quite put my finger on. . . yet you wouldn't understand it if I could.
So, yea for mushrooms! and yea for great boyfriends!
And if you're reading this because you're thinking about trying them then let me say this, start small. . . and make sure you're comfortable in your enviroment and with the people around you. . .