The Dark Crystal

This is a report of my first shroomin' experience. I am a student at a major university in the southwest. Up until this point, the only drug I had ever taken was pot--which I don't like because I just don't experience the effects that others have. This semester my dorm roomate and I were considering trying shrooms out of curiosity and intrigue. So over the next few weeks we (I) studied up on cubensis mushrooms as much as we could. We finally decided to start with 1/16th of an ounce (~1.5g) each for our first trip. So on Thusday before spring break, we approached zero-hour at 9:00pm. I decided to put half of my mushrooms on pizza and out of curiosity, ate the other half plain--I didn't mind the taste at all. For the next 20 minutes, nothing happened. We threw in Darkside and I began to serf the web. After a while my roomate began to make exclamations such as the blacklight looking brigther, etc. A little while after that he began to tell me that my head was melting into the dresser as I typed and that the glowing lizards we have glued to the ceiling were scittering around. I didn't beleive a word he said at first because I felt nothing. I began to get pissed, beleiving that cubensis would have an effect on me just as dissapointing as pot. Then things became ...different. It all started with a bug scrambling up the wall--that was my first cubensis hallucination ever. It was dark, and I only saw it in my periphery as I typed on my computer. I stopped to look and nothing was there. Aw yeah! I thought. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 10 pm. Then our freind andy came in who had been drinking that night. He sat down and began telling stories as I explored my new blossoming state of mind. I watched him sit on the couch and relay some nonsence about what he did earlier--though I didn't hear a word he said because I was too busy watching his movement in fascination. The way he was sitting, his body was motionless on the couch with only his head moving as he spoke. As a result, all I could barely see was andy's disembodied, animated head cheerfully tell its tale as the body dissapeared into the couch itself. After what seemed like half an hour, I looked at the clock again . . . 10:02! Barely two minutes had passed in all this time. I now knew what everyone meant by those moments of eternity. I remember every single event of that night in excruciating detail, so to save time I will simply highlight. First of all, it was the grooviest experince of my life. We decided to put the movie "The Dark Crystal" in the VCR in sterio. I HIGHLY recommend it. The skecksies, pod-people, mystics and gelflings all seemed so surreal. The wilderness was full of life moving and feeding amongst itself. There is no doubt in my mind that Jim Henson did shrooms. There were even shrooms in the damn movie for cris'sakes! The music, the scenery, the story was all just--perfect. Yes, perfect--that's how I began to feel. Without even realizing it at first, an incredible high came over me unlike any I have ever had. Every bone, nay, every fiber in my god-damned body throbbed with an ecstatic sensation I can only call bliss. And the seconds still ticked away as hours. It was an eternity of pure, unadulterated bliss. I sat there on the couch, my eyes periodically curling up in their sockets as I basked in this full-body orgasm. That's what it was, I kid you not. "Amazing," I said, "that such an ugly little mushroom can have such a profound effect." I repeated this to myself over and over throughout the night. Everything was funny. We were giggling like idiots. Drunk andy, while in the middle of practicing karate moves in our room, abruptly pointed at us and burped--I thought I was going to piss my pants, it was so funny. I looked at my computer and it was breathing--just barely, but I noticed it. I was holding one of those plastic things that hold six-pacs togeter (and choke marine turtles). The plastic object was draped from the fingertips of my right hand. It felt like water, or liquid plastic. It felt like the liquid plastic was flowing out of my fingertips in an endless stream. An even weirder sensation was when drunk andy began flicking and wiggling his fingers in front of my eyes. There was no actual contact and yet I could feel it. It felt like the fingers were tickling the back of my eyeballs, it was a tad unpleasant. The wiggling fingers actually felt like they were wiggling inside my skull. I stood up and for some reason began swirling my leg around in a circular motion, and the coolest thing happened. There were tracers! Whereever I moved my leg, a ghost-leg would follow it in perfect unison, and then snap back into my leg when I stopped. It looked almost like it was my soul trying to keep up with my body. I looked out the window at two big, huge grass bushes an the ground below that were swaying in the wind. The looked to me like giant grass-beasts that were breathing and lumbering about. It was like jim-henson-land outside my window. Oddly enough, as intence that some things seemed, others seemed distant or completely non-existant. What I mean is that most things felt far away--outside of my little universe of grass-beasts, bugs, and bliss. Weird.