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I first tried mushrooms in early October of 1999.

I first tried mushrooms in early October of 1999. I had just gotten paid and had made arrangements with my dealer to pick up 1/8th of psylocybin cubensis before I went to work that day. I had never even seen psilocybin mushrooms before, let alone purchased them, though I had done plenty of research on how to safely eat Teonanacatl. Besides, the first time I dropped acid I had taken 4 hits and managed to have an amazing experience. I was disappointed, I guess, because I imagined the mushrooms to be the large, gnarled, fairy-tale mushrooms we've all seen on posters in the local head shop. Instead they were small, slightly crumbled, phallic looking mushrooms which looked more like they would kill me than send me into a psychedelic voyage.

I had to work that day, so I dropped the mushrooms and the ganja off at home and headed in. The work was stressful, but the fact that I had the next day off, a little green and a key to the psychedelic realm at home put a large perma-smile on my face all day long.

After my work was done, I headed home gleefully with a short stop-over at the 7-11 to pick up some orange juice which I always drink whether taking acid, mushrooms or peyote. Local legends hold that it somehow increases the visuals on a trip, but I have no idea if that's true or not; it's all part of my ritual.

When I arrived home I microwaved a piece of day-old pizza and started gulping down caps and stems without chewing them. I ate about 1/2 of the bag, confident (or arrogant) that since I had managed to handle large doses of acid and peyote before, mushrooms would be nothing. As soon as I swallowed my last cap, the phone rang. It was work, and they asked me to come in the next day. "Asked" isn't really the right word. "Demanded" is more like it. I freaked out at first, and then accepted it. It was 9pm now and I didn't have to be in to work until about 2pm the next day. Plenty of time, I figured. I loaded the bong, took it down, then lit some candles and lay on the couch and tried to relax and wait to see what the mushrooms had to show me.

I nodded off but then was awakened by the feeling that you get when you almost fall asleep but then wake up-like you're falling and then hit the bed. We all know this feeling, ja? I felt like I fell for a year and then hit the couch. My gaze was at first drawn to the candles I had lit earlier. They looked less like candles and more like shafts of flame thrust into wax fixtures. It was perhaps the most amazing non-hallucinatory visual I have ever seen during any psychedelic voyage. Then my mind drifted into the past. I began to "daydream" that I was making love to a girl I had known years before in high school. This feeling was so absolutely amazing, but it lasted only a few minutes and then abruptly ended. The walls in my living room seemed to be a lot taller than before, and colors, mostly red and blue, were so bright it almost hurt to look at them.

This was cool for a little bit, but then I grew restless. I decided to turn on the television. Where I live we have a large hispanic population, and there was a "DARE" or "Safe Streets" type program on that was all in Spanish. I only know a few phrases in Spanish, but as I watched I seemed to pick up the language and was able to understand almost everything that was going on. Carlos, it seemed had had his bicycle stolen and wanted to go and assault the punk kids who'd stolen it. He ran afoul of a policeman on his way who managed to both stop the assault and find the bicycle.

I began to think in spanish, which was cool at first, but then an hour later I was no longer able to understand what I was thinking. My mind spoke to me in garbled, multi-sylabig bursts that made no sense whatsoever. I spent 4 hours enduring this hell. I attempted to alleviate this problem by putting on some very slow, relaxing music, but to no avail; the serene music seemed way too fast and got me even more agitated and I had to shut it off.

I finally fell asleep at 7 in the morning, awoke at 12 noon with no noticeable aftereffects save dilated pupils, and no one at work was any the wiser.

I guess the lesson is don't eat mushrooms by yourself and respect the mushroom-if you proceed with arrogance and disrespect expect to be treated the same way.

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