Shroom Log of New Years

I wrote this log on New Year's eve at the age of 17 while tripping. Though it is a bit incoherent, it should give you a good idea of my mindset while tripping. Hope you find it enjoyable.

8:50: Ingested approximately 3 grams of Psilocybin mushrooms.

9:00: Slight disorientation. Feeling that something is different.

9:08 Disorientation increased. Slight nausea. Warm feeling throughout body similar to that caused by marijuana. Giddiness. Colours brighter. Everything seems more vivid.

9:16 All concern over whether this is indeed pyilocybin mushrooms gone. Effects identical (but stronger due to higher dose) as before. All of the above effects greatly intensified. Difficult to type. Everything is swelling in and out as if breathing. Kaleidoscope closed eye visuals. Pupil dilation.

9:30 Not much has changed. Clear visual “disturbances.” Mind “moving” very fast. A feeling of disappointment. I was expecting more. Deep philosophical thinking. Difficulty following one train of thought very long. Though the nausea did not leave, it is blocked out by the “body buzz.” Music is having a strong effect on emotions. I kind of wish I had more upbeat music, but no matter.

9:58 I walked around the house, it felt like there were people home even though there are not. Hungry but nauseas. While walking around the house I kept on feeling like I was being drawn back into the basement. This feeling faded with time but with a tug I was drawn back down. This differs from the rest of the entries. Perhaps reflects altered consciousness. Perhaps the “need” to continue writing this log is what chains me to the basement. Is this, perhaps, a microcosm for my life? Finished writing this entry at 10:10.

10:47 I might as well start by telling of the trivial physical events that occurred over the last 45 minutes. I fed my hunger and ate my bowl of cereal to feed my literal hunger. Felt nauseas afterwards, but that has passed. I must try to not have my current state of mind color my telling of my previous state of mind. I felt fantastic, vibrant, and full of energy. I felt like I had attained some enlightenment. But then my thinking changed to my knowledge of how everyone has a feeling of attaining enlightenment but that it always fades the next day. Then everything began to get darker and more “sinister.” By pandering the knowledge of the patterns that everyone goes through I entered my current state of mind. The energy of before is gone. I feel like I am an ancient lich. Ironic, but yet somehow expected, that by attaining the mind-set of something I always fantasized and longed to be, I feel not pleasure, but rather the bitterness that they feel. My current (as in well I am writing this passage) viewpoint is exactly that of a lich. This is off the topic of the current chain of thought but I must say, and I wish I could emphasize this someway, that I hate the people who focus on the visual aspects of the “shroom” trip. Caring the most about the trails and “pretty colours” that can be seen (the visuals are trivial I might add, very much exaggerated, and barely noticeable at least while I am writing this) and not about the huge change in mindset and overall mental effects. I really wish I could type as fast as I think, but that would be impossible for any organic being. Back to the previous chain of thought. What made me become a lich and not something else? Is it possible that it is because the lich is the only one that someone could change to rather than having to be born as? My current mindset is not bitter. Music has a huge role in governing emotions. Perhaps writing this is not as useless as I thought sense I am not simply writing, but also allowing my mind to roam freely and I am only spending a small fraction of time actually writing this. I no longer feel like a lich because time is meaningless to them but not to me. I don’t feel happy but this is all very enjoyable. Writing of this entry ceased (but note not finished since there are no endings) at 11:25

11:58 Nothing has really changed. Regained some lucidity as my mood stabilizes. The fact that the new year legally (the government even claims authority over such cosmic principals as time) begins in 2 minutes would give me legitimate excuse to go outside. But I will (and just have) pass it up.

12:17 Realization that so much of this trip is coloured by the Legacy of Kain series.

12:51 Visuals have ceased. The grandiose mood swings of the 10:15 to 11:40 now nothing more than a memory. The thoughts of how I could have explored the trip differently are “buzzing” through my head. “Body buzz” remains.

1:20 Pupils have returned to normal. The “body buzz” is gone.