My friends have always called me chicken, a nickname I got in the 4th grade when I was the only girl who wouldn't do the dare at one of my fellow classmate's birthday party.
The dare was to smoke a cigarette.
In 5th grade, I was called chicken because I wouldn't let my crush "feel me up," and in 6th grade, I wouldn't flash the boys at the track meet. In 7th grade, I wouldn't smoke pot, in 8th grade I wouldn't lose my virginity to my sex starved, sexually active boyfriend at the time. I guess I was a chicken, and I didn't mind being called one.
Until about a year ago when my current boyfriend at the time scored some shrooms. By this time, I was smoking pot habitually (though I'd never call it an addiction. Not then, not now.) and was curious about the effect shrooms would have. After he told me that there's never a guarantee of what it will be like, that every trip is different, and that there is no way to tell if you'll have a good or bad trip, I started to scared. "It's alright, chicken, you don't have to eat my magic mushrooms. More for myself," he said with a smile.
I didn't want to be chicken anymore. I wanted to experience the things he talked about.. and I did.
Since his parents were out of town at the time, we went to his house, just me, him, and one of my friends--we'll call her Kass.
I ate about a half 8th of the mushrooms, and already being the paranoid person I was, I explained to him in detail that I was allergic to numerous things & that if these mushrooms contained any of them, I'd probably die. (What an exaggeration.) He calmed me down, told me to relax and to remember, "in 5 hours, everything will be normal.. and it's a good thing you don't have to work tomorrow, because you aren't gonna be able to sleep."
We turned the t.v. to HBO and started watching Scream. I was getting a little anxious to experience the effects and I got a little mad at first. "Do you think these were just.. normal mushrooms, or something? I don't feel anything." He just smiled, nodded and said, "wait."
There wasn't an exact moment when it started, not like when you discover you're high for the first time. It sort of melts over you, slowly, seeping through you & taking it's sweet time. And finally, it just hits.
I first noticed the effects when I was looking at someone on the t.v. screen who had a lot of freckles on their face. The freckles seemed to grow and shrink in size, move from left to right, then move outward, towards me.. and slowly back in. I remember commenting, "I like freckles now." My boyfriend smiled & Kass, who was sober, gave me a strange look.
My boyfriend's walls are wood pannelled, filled with designs and curves. I remember tilting my head, watching one line slide into the other. Pretty soon, the lines started to have texture, like yarn, and his entire room looked like one huge ball of brown yarn.
There was a blue flannel sheet hanging up over his closet that seemed to breathe, in and out, and I felt like I was in control of the timing.
Prior to our trip, his down blanket had been cut, which sent feathers flying all over throughout his room. I remember looking at those feathers still floating randomly in the air and seeing them sparkle, wondering if I was in heaven, as I could feel my body floating upward.
I told my boyfriend, "I like this ride" and he said something about it not being called a trip for nothing. Kass was staring at us, and that's when I understood that I didn't like to be around sober people when I was tripping. But when I looked at her, I couldn't look away. She's hispanic and has beautiful brown skin, which looked like peanut butter at the time. All I wanted to do was touch her face, so I asked, and she let me.
The cat walked in and seemed to look fiber-optic. Kass kept saying how ugly the cat was and I remember wanting to tell her to shut up because the cat was amazing, but I didn't feel like telling anyone to shut up. I was the keeper of harmony.
Anyways, after about 5 hours of just sitting there, looking at everything and admiring the beauty, Kass took me home, and of course, I wasn't able to sleep. So I cleaned my room, putting things in weird places because they looked cool there, and I could appreciate their beauty more.
It's so right what they say about shrooms making you see the world differently, because I do. I recycle, I hate to see people litter, I appreciate simple things and find significance in otherwise mundane situations.
I've had several trips since then, and they were all very, very different (and some, not so good.) But my next trip will be at the zoo.