I almost got my ass kicked a few times being all VOCAL and shit.
I almost got my ass kicked a few times being all VOCAL and shit....I ate 5 grams of Ryche's mexicubes and It was all over for me. I was Hot in all the clothes I had on so I stripped...My wife asked me 100000 questions and got on my LAST nerve..She always asks to many questions..Just like Chicken Little..SHUT UP!!! I told her.....I got a stiff SLAPPPP! I left home and drrrrroooove (I cant believe I did this) I drove to my friend's house. On the way there......A COP cut me off and I got mad and gave him the finger thru the sunroof. LUCKILY, he didnt see me, he was too busy doing his job in trying to catch a guy that made a illegal u-turn..SPEAKING of ILLEGAL, I had 8 grams on me..How stupid can a mutherfucker get?? I actually slapped myself in the car while I was at a red light. The girl in the car next to me was lookin----I stuck my tounge out at her and she laffed. I farted in the car and gagged for about 5min and realized that I should be rollin down the windows for fresh air. I swerved a bit and realized that I was too fucked up to drive.......I locked my concentration onto the road and fought the high all the way to my mexican friend's house. Stopped by the texaco near his house to fill up the ole ride. I got out of my car and I see this old lady with out-of state tags having trouble because she dropped her gas cap under her car. NO ONE would help this lady get her shit..She had a cane and all. I saw another guy look dead at the old lady and at the cap under the car and he just kept on walking...
Didnt say a word. 'That's fucked up' I thought. I went over and said to the old lady OUT LOUD for this jackass to hear....'Sorry mam, I notice that you need some help. Not everyone is like THAT GUY'..Have a good stay in Atlanta..I went under her car and grabbed the gas cap. I was movin kinda slow. It looked like her caddy was trying to take a dump on my head...It's leakin GAS!! I thought all of the sudden and I hurried from under there. The old lady said thanks.
She was so thankful that she reached in her pocket and gave me a $20 and a busness card...When the old lady turned around, I noticed the Guy who was a DICK watched the whole thing. I held up my $20 and said 'being nice to other pays off once in a while'
BOY he was pissed.. I split before I got my ass kicked...On the way to mexican's house I kept thinking the guy was following me. I kept turning the rear veiw mirror all sorts of directions to find his car...NOPE..
Mexican met me at the door and I could tell by his overly dialated pupils that he was feeling very MUSHY....Matter of fact, he looked into my eyes and we both laughed. I farted again and he made me wait outside. In the house, we smoked some cuban cigars and left the weed alone. He gave me his bong and said 'you can have it, I quit smoking weed'..I laughed hard at the remark. I laffed so hard that I boosted out a fart....He looked at me and growled, then he let out a fart....then came the Racial SLAMS....
MOE: Damn you mexican fuck, your farts smell like refried beans.
Mexican: Shut up you 40oz drinking car jacker..
MOE: you fucking boarder crossing sweat shop working wetback..
Mexican: Shut up you former cotton picker/ex slave.
MOE (stunned by that fatal racial blow I had to retaliate):
Shut up you Juan Valdez bean picking worshiper. Go have you 4year old son fix is car/I mean mule....
That was a FATAL blow, it was over. MOE won.
We jumped up and decided to go to the movies. We went to go see....I can fuckin remeber but...I know that I took a blanket because I was kinda cold. We got alot of strange looks with that blanket. I told mex to go ahead of me in line and NOT to say 'TWO tickets please' He figured it out and we were in the theater. I sat down with my blanket and watched the previews. I saw so many things with me eyes closed that I kept them closed tru 1/2 of the movie. I opened them to see a Movie usher flashlighting me. He kept flashlighting me. 'WHAT!!!' I said out loud turning a few heads. He mumbled something about the blanket and I relpied out loud..NO!! there isnt a girl or guy under here giving me a blow job leave me alone! I cold. I am not lucky like Bill Clinton you know.'' the movie lights came on and I realized that I was being kicked out of the theater. Mexican was laffin his head off, I thought he was going to puke. He spiralled into this uncontrollable cough. We decided to go to the park and rollerblade. Mex had a old skate board in his car. I rented some rollerblades. We had fun skating at top speed down the sidewalks and doing stunts. I finally busted my ass and tumbled into the grass---I was peaking. I lay there in the grass for about 1 hr (it was really 5 min or so). I felt a soft hand touch my head and I thought it was my wife. I looked and it was Kelly. A girl that I was supposed to bang but turned down. (I'm married). She was with some guy who was looking at me all beefy. I had no problem with him, but if he kept on looking at me like that I am going to defensive. Kelly and I talked for a while, o'le boy was acting all assholish and went to sit on a bench. Mexican came over and saw Kelly and gave her a small hug. We talked about some old times in the park and I guess that was the breaking point for the guy that she was with. He got up and said 'hey Kel, we gotta get going'..he grabbed her arm all hard like and she got pissed.