This was my 3rd time using mushrooms, but only my second time getting high from them (first time I took too little). It was a bright, sunny afternoon, and two of my friends and I (We'll call them M and L) decided to each take 3.5 grams or so....the adventure goes as follows:
We were upstairs in my room when the mushrooms kicked in....strange...M seems to find that kicking the garbage can is quite amusing. He seems to be getting violent...hmm....suddenly a mutual and undeniable desire to go outside....we must go. Outside now, feeling...tingly! Let's go for a walk.
Everything seems pretty normal. Wondering if mushrooms are taking effect....oh wait, yes, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to myself in such a strange tone....wait, did they hear me? Hmmm....hard to say. I wonder if they're feeling anything....ah, L has informed me that the road is pulsating below us. Upon closer inspection...claim is verified. We continue down the hill...
The three of us seem drawn towards an undecided destination....where are we going? Who's taking us there and why? Look at these cars going by.....so preoccupied with the toils and troubles of life....stupid humans. They're so wrapped up in themselves...why can't they be more like us...wait, what are we? (1/2 hour of loop thinking ensues).
Ah, we seem to be arriving at L's house...he needs to go inside for something. Naturally M and I will lie outside in the grass, and act natural. Nobody can know we're on mushrooms....we are on a secret mission....can't have those "regular" humans finding out about us, they'd destroy us.....bastards. Hmm....grass is fun, especially now that I'm looking sideways at it. M's eyes are intense and dilated....obviously as focused on our secret mission as I am...it's good to have competent members in your squad....can't do these kinds of missions with imbeciles. OOooooo.....treeeeeee
Tree above me is moving....not "a tree"....no use for improper nouns at this point...all trees are interconnected and part of the same life form...."hello Mr. Tree, nice to meet you!" Trying to shake hands with Mr. Tree.....Hmm....he doesn't seem to be able to reach down far enough. This strikes me as....tragic? Hmmm...my emotions are confused and not adding up....time for change of location...ah, just in time...L beckons us into the house. Apparently there is an important discovery that needs attention.
In L's house now....seems pretty familiar...nothing too exciting here. Oh shit, a large shimmery white beast has arrived outside....it opens it's wing and L's mother steps out!!! Hmmm....what is a "mother"...ah! must not get distracted from the mission....she's here to stop us I feel...we must proceed with caution....can't trust her!
She comes into the house spewing garbled demonic messages....must not listen....smile, act reserved...she won't know we're secret agents, no, certainly not.... Out the front door now....bah!! She's saying something...
"Who broke these?" demands L's mom....uh oh, it seems M has inadvertently snapped some of the local foliage....a tragedy to be sure!!! Hmmm...best course of action seems to be letting L deal with it while stumbling away after M....god bless you L! Hopefully you'll make it out alive!
Ah, back by the grass....L's mom still pursues, asking "what are you guys up to?" HA! Likely story Mrs. L's mom.....probably just a last ditch effort to have us reveal the plan...no such luck! "We're going to my house" I hear myself say with a smile....good, she seems satisfied. Time to backtrack to that park we passed on the way down here...
Walking down street toward park....road seems to stretch into eternity....should take a few minutes to get that far....especially with these amazing devices on my feet..."shoes" eh.....ha, interesting. I look across the street....don't like that neighbor. I'm distinctly getting bad vibes from the man across the street....can't have him following us....I made sure to shoot freeze rays out of my eyes so he won't....good, can't be too careful these days.
Ah, the park....a wonderful place....so green and lush...and what's this?!! Hmm....a small black fence, about a foot high and flimsy. Why has this been put here? It blocks nothing...what is a "fence" anyway? It simply tells us that what's on the other side is "dangerous, and we shouldn't go there". But this "fence" is clearly passable, and the teeming, wild wilderness lies just beyond....irresistible!! I step over the fence and into this new, forested world.
Just then, we hear a siren....L exclaims, "whoa....sirens mean that either you're in trouble, and need help, or they mean that you're trouble with the law!!" Intriguing....not sure whether to run towards or away from siren....wait, we didn't call for its assistance, must be a trap!!!! Damn humans found us out...my freeze rays must not have worked, that bastard neighbor obviously notified local authorities....let us escape into the forest!!! Ahh, wait...it's just an ambulance going past....but....the forest never the less!!!
Ah, this is better, away from the clutter of the human world. I'll cross this stream on these branches...balance and overall senses enhanced...I feel like a wild animal! I crash through the underbrush, out of site of my fellow companions until I find a prominent tree to stand on (it had toppled over). Ah, now I feel great!!! I feel more important, standing on this tree...and hark, look yonder, another fence!! It seems these humans really want to keep us out of here. I call for my friends to join me.
Hmm...they've come within 50 yards of me, but have now stopped....I shout that I need them to come here and experience this, but they won't for at least twenty minutes....they stand there looking at me strangely and converse quietly between themselves (I later find out they were planning my death...hypothetically of course...a scary thought). Finally! They join me on the fallen tree, and likewise feel the enlightenment. Our mission is complete.....time to celebrate and smoke a bowl. Ah, it definitely calms me...I feel much more connected to the sacred herb than usual...I find I respect its magical powers more. Once we finish the bowl, it's time to emerge from the forest.
We arrive back at the stream crossing, but run into a problem. L suddenly freezes in place and informs us that the "Big Green Man" won't let him go any further. This is a problem, as I fail to see the giant up in the trees, though L convinces me he exists. M is splashing wildly in the stream, drenching his shoes...hopefully they won't loose any of their magical powers when wet!!
BEEP...BEEP...Shit, a small black box in my pocket is ringing!!! I put it to my face and say "hello" out of habit...it's my "mom" (whatever that is). She wants to know if we're coming home soon....I say yes, keeping the conversation brief, despite my desire to tell her about our successful mission. I hang up....this seems to free L from the grips of the "Big Green Man", and we cross the stream and leave the forest (roughly two hours later I'd guess). L and M lay on the grass back up in the park....I go back to explore a different part of the forest....
I cross the stream on these two pipes, and to my astonishment there's a large cage back here hidden in the underbrush!!!!! The cage is empty, but I immediately know it must belong to this "Green Man" that L spoke of....he must keep his victims here!! I turn and start to run to tell my friends, when a few feet later I stop in my tracks....just across the stream a small boy or man is hiding behind the bushes watching me intently...he wears a green shirt..."AHH THE GREEN MAN!!!!!" I yell. He looks at me alarmingly, and then quickly bolts.....must have caught him off guard. I take the opportunity to run across the pipes (accidentally fell into stream, but no matter) and I rejoin my friends in the park.
"I SAW HIM!!!!!!!!!" I exclaim, in an obviously flustered state. We decide to leave immediately before he summons his forest minions to capture us. As we walk back to my house, we are about halfway up a big hill when we see the green man emerge from around the corner behind us....we all see him this time. "See!" I say. He also sees us, though he seems very afraid, and quickly hurries off in a different direction. We proceed back to my house.
At home, we try to make it past my mom....I exchange a few short (and odd) words with her as I am still beshroomed...but I manage to grab some strawberries from downstairs. M eats one and his face lights up in delight....I follow suit....heavenly! We go up to my room where this whole mess began....in my room, L starts writing "IMAGINE" on my light fixtures, and M wildly humps a reclining chair for a minute or so....then we calm down and start coming down....memories of the mission and it's purpose slip sadly from my memory......ah mushrooms.