Who am I

To start my report off, there are a couple things to know about me. I honestly don't take drugs well, and I've only tripped twice in my life. (I'm 17)
One day my friends (who are expert trippers) and I decided to all trip together as sort of a bonding experience. I was all for it. The unfortunate part was that my friends all had only enough shrooms for themselves. So I had to go through an outside source. The guy I found would only sell a quarter bag at the least. I said OK, and purchased the mushrooms. The one thing he did tell me before I went on my way is that one quarter bag would suffice 3 people and probably no less due to the extreme potency of the shrooms. I really didn't believe him. Then my friends and I all got together and ate our shrooms. I ended up eating over half the bag, then selling the remains to another friend. About 10 minutes after I ate my shrooms, my mother paged me with an emergency. My friends warned me not to call it back, but I did anyway. ( I thought no harm would come of it) My mother started yelling at me because she found out that I had had a party at my house the night before. I quickly told her my version of the night and hung up. Just as I hung up, my head felt as if it was in a vice. I was done for. My head started spinning, my visuals started out as soft, warm colors, but quickly turned to gray and red colors.
We were at my friends house, at night, nor were we allowed inside, due to the fact that we were tripping. I started to sweat profusely. I layed down in the grass, took my shirt off, and buried my head into the pillow. I had literally NO knowledge whatsoever on how to deal with bad trips. I closed my eyes to try to make it go away, but that just made the visuals more intense. My friends were scared. Every time someone would try to approach or talk to me, I would scream at them to get away, due to intense fear. My one friend kept telling me that I can turn my trip around just by switching my state of mind. I couldn't understand, the visuals were too unexplainably intense. My body was hurting. I layed under some trees in the dark to try to aleviate the pain. I then forgot where I was, even who I was and what I was doing there. The only way I could explain my state of mind is that "everything was nothing." I started arguing with myself. My friends later commented that they were intensly scared to come over by me because I was screaming at myself. It seemed as though my personalities had split, and I couldn't figure out who I was. I then was convinced that I was dying and I was stuck in my trip because I had no basis of time whatsoever. I felt as if in another world, nothing was real, and I kept muttering to myself that I was "on another plane of enlightenment." This was the only thing that made sense to me, because I am a very spiritual person. While my eyes were closed I envisioned a large temple with a growing blue flame in the center. This is the only visual that I would actually be able to explain due to the horrific complexity of all the other visuals. I felt enlightened, I thought things that I could never even fathem thinking. I then started to come down. As my trip started to end, (after about 4-5 hours of lying in my friends back yard) I gained the confidence to approach my friends. They all looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. I then started talking, non-stop talking, of all my new enlightened ideas. I still did not completely know where I was or who most of my friends were. It was utterly amazing and inexplicable that one person could think up that many things and ideas on their own. I truly felt enlightened.
I have never tripped since, due to utter fear of the same thing happening. I have been offered only 2 or 3 shrooms just to kick back and have a good time, but I had to refuse. I am scared to go back to where I was. It was just too much for me.