what is the IS

If you don’t like to read this whole post, and you only like to read about the level 5 trip, skip down to where it says LEVEL 5. PEace

My dear friends, I am delighted to read all the level 5 posts. They bring back a lot of feelings and memories for me. I am so glad that so many of you actually prepared for these, and that you had such great mind opening-blowing experiences. I have never met anyone who went anywhere close to where I did during the trips, but I can see here that some of you went even further. Infinitely beyond expectation, infinitely beyond words or communication, those who were there will understand. I have never written down any of my trips, although I talked about them for along time, but now I really feel the urge to share my experiences and how they have changed my life.

Like many of you I will start of with an introduction to my conditioning. I was a complete atheist, just living with what I knew, trying to have fun. I was into the ‘normal stuff’, until my first real change. I fell in love, and as most of you can already guess, I got smashed. I cried every day for almost a year, not because I felt sorry for myself, but because of Love, because I felt so incomplete because I couldn’t give that Love to her in every breath I took. I got over it and learned a great deal of lessons, among which the main one is, life is not living without Love, and also that that Love can not be exchanged between people, because it is within. Those who understand will understand.

The second step came after I really understood the first one. After the woman thing cleared up, I read the Celestine Prophecy. I was inspired and I had a great feeling in me that yes, there IS more to this life. After that I started eating books on Buddhism and Taoism and meditation for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I got a hold of Aldous Huxley’s Island, which really shook me up, and then finally after years of hearing about shrooms, I felt I was ready. I read more about it, and the more I read the more I felt ready.
So finally one night, I got some, and I ate them. I will share just the synapses of the first few. First trip, not much, just nice colors. Next was much more intense, first time I ever had focus of mind. That trip I figured out something of most importance, which was ‘Stop looking for it, and just LOOK.’ At that point it seemed the most easy and natural thing, but normally people don’t have such focus of mind. That trip I went for a walk, I saw how most intricate and beautiful nature was. I saw how everything really was perfect and everything was OK. I saw a freshness in everything and I loved it. Next trip I ended up by myself, and that was really good. This time I saw behind the picture, behind the wall of my regular perception, and then I realized what they were talking about in the Taoist books when they said that the wise is the one who can see behind the horizon. Also I saw the screens of misperception being lifted of my eyes and then everything made sense. I figured out my whole life in about what seemed like a few minutes, and then my mind went to warp speed. I stop listening to it, and then BOOM, it shattered and totally totally stopped. This was my first ever time to stop thinking. I could think, but thought were not the primary observer. I cannot really explain this, I guess you just have to be there. After I stopped thinking, I could see into a world of pure Knowledge. I grew more in one second then in 20 years of my life, and the growth felt amazing. It was like taking the first real breath in my life. After growing in Knowladge a million blahs per millisecond I went too far, and I had to stop, and thanks God I started coming down. Next trip was again alone, but during the day. I had crazy perception of colors and I had a great feeling that I need to share this experience with people, to show them that love was all we need. I so badly wanted to tell everyone to just let it all go and to LIVE.

My next trip deserves a little more attention, because this is where things went too far. I had a big cap and a big stem this time, and this was a lot more then I took before. I also smoked a big J. I was with my friend and I could see light shining of his head, and white light was going thought his neck and into his head as he was breathing. I felt really supersensitive, and I could feel more then ever, times a million. We then went outside, and all the colors changed a lot. I cant really explain but there was a lot of purple and green. I also saw no more shadows, as my eyes could pick up a million times more light then before. I was seeing perfectly very very far away in the dark, and could see way better then ever in my life, a million times better. Then I stared seeing most things as a pure vibration, especially the man made things. I could see my car vibrating and I could see through it. All the houses we the same, and I could see that none of that was real. My friend though was soild, glowing in light and he looked too beautiful. All the trees and plants looked so amazing and so alive. This time I was really tripping. Then for the first time on shrooms I got really scared. I could see the picture in front of my eyes fade away and I could see right through, and for the first time I got the feeling that everything I see is not real at all. We then walked to the park across his house, and I was seeing energy everywhere, I even saw the outline of an old house that I guess used to be there. Then came the real crazy part. We looked up into the sky, and it was as if all the murky sky that I normally see had totally cleared up. Now there was no more space between me and the moon or the stars. It felt like all the stars were right there in my face, like there were within me. I could see all the different star systems in perfect structure, all being in perfect balance. The universe had angles and all the stars were in a perfect set up. Then I realized that this is a Creation, and then for the first time in my life I really thought of God, and then I freaked. I stared loosing it, I fell on the ground and I got the feeling that I was going to die. I have read that a lot of you have head this feeling to I am sure most of you know how crazy that feels. I screamed inside, no, I am not ready, there are all these things in life that I want to do, I cant die now. What happened then I don’t really know, but I stayed alive and I felt unlike ever before. My friend cam up to me and yelled, hey get up, get out of that, get up! So I got up and in second I felt much better, and felt alive again. As we walked I kept on saying ‘oh my God, everything is different now, everything is different now, and I can never go back.’ This experience really really changed me. Although the next day I wasn’t there anymore, the feeling remained, and I thought about that for months. It cleared up a lot about death and about the fact that it was going to happen NOW. Not latter but NOW, and that I have to be ready, and that I have to GET ready for that.

Next two trips were just me feeling really messed up being totally confused and lost and realizing that really I don’t know anything about Live, yet still I am alive.

(LEVEL 5)
The next trip was the killer one. This was the ‘level 5’ trip of trips, after which there is no way back. Ate at my friend’s house, 3 of us. Smoked a J, and right away got really weird, like I couldn’t stay up anymore, and the two of us feel on the ground, and again I got the feeling of dying. But this time it made me feel different then last time. This time there was no resistance at all, I had no choice, there was no one there to protest. As I was lying down on the floor, I felt my friends body parts on mine, but I could not tell the difference in the bodies, which was his or mine, or if there was any difference in the two. And all of this is within the half hour of eating. Then I left my regular state of consciousness and I went to a different dimension where there was no space and time. It was beautiful and at that moment I lost fear of death. I KNEW that we can’t die. I knew that there is only change, but no end. Then I would regain my ‘normal’ consciousness, and again I would flow back into that other state. The fear and the feelings that were flowing through me during this is beyond words, but those who have been there kind of understand. Although I was there I totally don’t understand anymore, because you just have to be there in this moment to understand. Anyways after this we all kind of came back, my friend kept on saying in the most disturbed manner, ‘How can this be, I don’t understand.’ He was freaking the fuck out, really really bad. For some reason I could understand something that he couldn’t at that time, and that was that there is nothing to understand. Just look, there is nothing to understand, just see It, I kept on telling him, but he couldn’t understand so he kept on freaking out more and more. He went into the corner and went into a different world where he said he was stuck to a huge black mass, and there were people all around him stuck to this black mass. He kept on seeing himself being killed over and over again, and he could see light shining from behind, but he couldn’t turn around because he was stuck to this black mass. All the people were there and they were suffering, and all they had to do was to turn and face the light. This what he was telling me. At the same time. I was able to close my eyes and find this amazing calmness in my breath. I felt the power that moved planets within me, and as long as I did not interpret or do anything, I felt more and more and more. Eventually it got too much, I felt like it was going to kill me. So I wanted to stop and it stopped. Then we started talking and time stared to play tricks with us. It went forward and backwards, and sometimes it would stop for a long time. I also lost all feeling of space and felt like everything was right in my face. I realized that both time and space really don’t exist, but were only in my mind. There is only consciousness. Then my friend and I both freaked out really bad because we both felt like there was no difference between me and him, or any really of anything else. We felt like we were everything, yet we totally lost all feeling of who we thought we were. We just sat there staring at each other, white a ghosts, asking ‘Do we exist at all.’ We had no answer, and had nowhere to go. Then finally the trip began to ease up a little bit and we were exhausted. And by the way, during all this, the third guy was just playing computer games and he barely noticed that we were doing all these crazy things, although he did notice the time going back and forth at the same time we did. In the end we were just lying down quietly talking about that just happened, and all the walls were totally see-through. We could all see infinite space, like we were just floating in space. And after some time we saw an infinite web, like an ocean all around us. The more we looked, the more there was. Anything you can possibly imagine we could see there, and anything that you cant possibly imagine, you could also see there, in infinite vastness. This web had no end and no beginning and was boundless. We just lay there and looked at it in awe. Then the trip eased up even more and then there was just peace and rest. The moment was so so slow, and we commented on how much slower the moment is then we think it is. That was pretty well the end of the trip. Now I missed a few things that I now recollect, but they are not too important. I could see with my eyes closed for a long time, I could also see with my senses, and at the same time I could see something behind the picture that was beyond space and time. At that time I said to myself that most people will live their whole life and never see this. At one time I also saw my friend in perfect pixels. Then his face got divided perfectly in four, and one quarter of his face was now missing and I could see through his head. Another funny thing was that the whole time that we were seeing the infinite space with the web, the window that was facing out was still there, but it was tilted about 45 degrees to the left, and all the things that you can normally see out the window were also tilted in the same manner. Like if someone took a picture that was on the wall and tilted it.

This was by far the most insane experience in my life, and it showed me that everything that I thought was, actually is not. Everything that I thought I knew about life, IS FALSE, EVERYTHING. I was destroyed and ripped up to shreds, and I was glad because I knew that that was the introduction to the new chapter in my life.

The last trip was me lying on the floor not being able to move for about 6 hours, no being able to see anything but a wall in my face. I kept on saying that life is not about us. Then I realized that I can’t ever do shrooms again, there is not point. I have to get back there through work. Life showed me that its possible, that we can transcend the senses and go into the world of Pure Knowledge, but IT CAN NOT BE DONE TROUGH DRUGS, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO COME DOWN!

It has been about 2 years since that last trip, and so much has happened since then. There is a very fresh new chapter in ‘my’ life now, and in short I can say that the only thing that I can now dedicate this life to is the realization of God, the Supreme Consciousness, and to helping other do the same. Once you have the feeling of elevated consciousness, you know there is nothing else to be done but to go all the way yourself, and to help other do likewise. For those of you who have realized that, if you haven’t read it already, please read the Bhagvad Gita (any translation except the Bhagvad Gita As It Is, it’s a very badly translated, full of ego of the author). I would love to share more with you guys and even more I would love to lean about what any of you have done and how your lives have changed after these mind blowing experiences. Peace to you all and I hope to hear from anyone who would like to share. My email is questforall@hotmail.com >
As much as I want to be back now, I know that I can’t. I have to take baby steps, I have to do the work. The mind must to concentrated, the actions must be purified, the attachments must be let go off, and the love must be allowed to flow.