What am I?

I've always wanted to explain what a trip on mushrooms actually felt like but I have never been able to find the words and so after eating about ten grams I attempted to write down my feelings and this is what I came up with...

-confusion, fear, relaxation, fear, confusion, unquenchable thirst

I feel like a frickin' caveman trapped in modern society. Ordinary objects are foreign, abstract.

I...This is the first time I have used the word "I" since it started because the use of this word brings the question..."What is "I" exactly?" And the question brings much fear. Everything is a cycle and all cycles are a part of one greater cycle. But what is the greater cycle exactly? Where does the cycle lead is what we live for...or is it?

Is this complete knowledge? Or is it a complete loss of knowledge? Loss of yourself?

Words cannot express what I'm trying to describe because I'm still not quite sure what it is that I'm trying to describe. It is actually becoming everything that you see and hear and taste and smell. Everything that is and then more. It is realizing that there is so much more to what is than what one had previously believed.

We thrive on knowledge. Human beings do. And it's scary to finally realize that there is so much that we don't know. But it's alright. This new thing. It's okay to not know. And we will never know. Not in this lifetime atleast. One must believe that there is something after this because we aren't intelligent enough to think otherwise. It is part of the greater cycle.

This key brings you back to the state of mind that was there before you were given this body to experience everything. Before birth. But this state of mind was not made for this lifetime or better to say for this part of the cycle.

These great new things learned should never ever be forgotten so that we can appreciate this life in this body in this world at this time. Does anyone else know this or am I (it's apparent that this word is still frightening me) the only one? But, it doesn't matter. Because I know.

This really really is an out-of-body experience. I now know what that means when I hear it, but it is impossible to describe to someone who hasn't felt it before, or even to someone who has felt it for that matter. It being, well, I don't know. I think I am losing it. My fear this entire time has been losing it...losing this feeling of everything.

I am trying to explain but can't before I can get it figured out for myself even. This has been my fear. And I feel somewhat relieved now that I've figured this out. Now I can stop. Because it's gone now. And there is no reason that it has to be figured out now. It's for me to know but not to figure out.

I know that this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I was tripping when I wrote it so you understand. Hopefully this will help the newbies somewhat understand the effects of shrooms.