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Time travel, end of the world, my own death.....
Before I start, let me say that I'm fairly experienced with mushrooms.
Before I start, let me say that I'm fairly experienced with mushrooms. This last time would have been my 8th or so, but it definitely was unlike anything I've ever been through. 3 months later and still I feel very weird when I think about it.
The difference this time could be attributed to the fact that we were consuming a different strain of mushrooms. I can't remember what they are called, only that on the Sacred Mushroom Church site (where we used to get them) they were labeled STRONGER, and only 1 other strain was labeled STRONGEST. We made tea, and it wasn't but 10 minutes before I started feeling it, and it was very intense.
In fact, things started off with a very short ramp-up time, which I think is needed for my mind to adjust. Ramping up took very little time after that, probably another 8 minutes before I was full on visually. The first part was actually amazing, probably the best trip I've ever had, I was zooming along through space and geometric patterns would whiz by - it was like the best video game you've ever played or whatever.
At some point though when I tried to rejoin everyone else I lost touch with reality and my consciousness. It was like blacking out, except I was still moving. And screaming. According to everyone else I spent the rest of the night until 5 in the morning screaming at the top of my lungs. It was so loud they could hear my clearly outside, it's a wonder no one called the cops.
Let me also say that it was very strange...it wasn't that I totally lost consciousness, I would come in now and again but I definitely had no control over my body. This is where I'm piecing together things my girlfriend told me and things I can remember.
I remember: first, time traveling. I felt like I was zipping back and forth through time and space, seeing the big bang and then Earth forming and coming to present moment, only to rip back through backwards. Apparently I was screaming because it hurt physically...at least, that's what I allegedly told my girlfriend.
At the time I was taking an astronomy class at school...this may have something to do with the rest of it. I then went into some strange state where I was flailing around, I hit my girlfriend a few times (remember, I don't even have a memory of this) and she was biting me pretty hard. She was freaking out, because she said my eyes were totally glazed over, like I wasn't there AT ALL. And exactly what was going on in my head? Something I made up..."Lunarian Physics", that I was caught in a loop (like a computer). And the flailing had something to do with 0's and 1's...something anyway.
OK. So it's pretty strange. Things after this point are even more disconnected, so I'm going to relate them as best I can. I came to believe that this was a game, that Nintendo made some crazy system with the tagline "You'll never know until you try it" and that what I was experiencing was beating the game, that it took you into the depths of your mind and made you forget you were playing a game. That moment of revelation snaps you back into "REALITY" where it felt like the calm after a devastaing hurricane or whatever.
Then I went through some crazy thing where I discovered the meaning of life. But I can't remember that. Only that the consequence was it would destroy life as we know it. For some reason, the meaning of life was spelled out in the Ebay font. I don't understand.
In fact all I can remember that the meaning of life was IT.
But that was the weird part. All I had to do was say IT. And IT would end the world as we know it. And so I went through a torturous amount of time where the world had ended.
Of course, while shrooming, you go through all these episodes, so nothing connects with anything else. My final stage was dying. I went through the flailing bit again and then collapsed onto the floor. To me, dying was the worst of it all. It felt so real. What it felt like was only being able to see 1 thing, the carpet and this box. Because I coudln't move my eyes or my body. And I was overcome with the sensation that this sucks! Life is going on for everyone else but now I am dead, and I'm just going to be here for forever.
Actually death and the end of the universe collide at this point. I remember asking my girlfriend "who are you?" The answer I remember was in my head...to me, she was a being who was going to help me adjust to death. She wasn't really my girlfriend, but a being in her image to ease my mind. She turned all the lights off, and in my head there was nothing outside our room, the room wasn't real. It was just there to help ease me into dying. I was sobering up fast, but I spent the next 30 minutes asking her constantly "what have i done?" I truly thought this was it. Even when she explained to me that I had been on a drug for the past 6 hours it made no sense. I went to bed feeling very awful, and it wasn't until I woke up was I able to comprehend OH I took shrooms last night.
I believe that most of the trip happened because of this very interesting astronomy class i was taking. It explains how most of the night was spent zooming around the cosmos. But there is an extra level here that I can't understand, death was a big part of the trip. I can't explain how much I felt that I had really died, and how terrifying it was. I must have issues with dying, or getting older. FYI, I'm 23 going on 24. Not that old. The really funny part is we made tea with MAX 6 grams, and we split the tea 3 ways. Now, that's a really low dosage, but like I said the shrooms were not your regular kind, and the strain was something bizarre. Needless to say, I'm sticking to the normal stuff you can find around here. Please comment if you were able to make it through all that rambling, I apologize but the trip was very intense and scary, and I definitely lost control of my body (definite level 5).
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