The Lizard Goddess of Canyonlands

I'll begin by stating that I'm mid-twentiesh, male. average build, healthy...

I was introduced to mushrooms at the age of 14 when a friend and i split a quarter and hiked into the foothills surrounding our city. I took mushrooms regularily for about a year, and then was placed in a rehab center. this was before i had ever heard the name Terrance Mckenna or Timothy Leary. All I knew at that point was that I had been profoundly affected and changed. The rigid religious overtones of my upbringing ceased to make sense etc...

it would be 6 years until i again visited the mushroom realm. in the meantime i read everything i could get my hands on regarding the subject. While i've had a few plus 5 trips worth noting, my most recent journey sticks out the most.

a last minute camping trip with 2 close friends. We arrive in the afternoon to the southern utah desert, greeted by black skies and heavy rain. we're unable to access the road we planned on taking due to flooding so we drive around until we locate a suitable spot to camp (roughly 20 miles outside canyonlands national park) as soon as we're out of the car, the rain stops and the sky clears...we take it as a good omen...my friend brought 5 chocolate cubes which each contained aprox. 2.5 grams apiece... we decide on taking two each (our other friend refrained) the following afternoon after hiking through canyonlands....

trip day:
my friend eats two cubes at 4:45pm i follow suit at 5:00pm... We start gathering wood for the nights fire and about 20 minutes into it my friend complains of feeling sick to his stomach. after gathering wood we hike up onto a large rock with terrific views of the park...the sickness starts hitting me. I feel dirty, immoral, guilty, depressed etc...all of the negative aspects of my life are fighting for my attention. I walk back to camp and lie down on my back. i remember thinking.."oh great, this IS how it really IS...rotten, dirty, empty...I had the urge to vommit but nothing would come up. I beckoned my sober friend and he suggested going for a walk. as we walked the nasea intensified, i almost panicked...but as we approached a rock formation ahead, something i never would have dreamed of climbing in a sober state, my nasea bagan to fade. something called me up those rocks, which i began to scale with suprising ease. I began to feel an exhileration ive never felt before. I told my sober friend i was going to find my other friend who was long up one of the many slot canyons in this area. as I walked up to the opening of the canyon i saw a rock formation that reminded me of a zen garden and suddenly i heard clear as day...a low, nuetral robotic voice say "Welcome, please enter here." I began sprinting up the narrow canyon not even looking where my feet were going...i felt so in tune with this earth, that i could afford to be careless, even though one false move could have proved fatal.

when i finaly found my friend, barefoot with a huge grin, jumping huge distances between rocks, i had an odd sensation that we were reptiles, probably lizards. there was a buzzing noise in the air, that lasted the duration of the trip. we played atop these rocks for several hours...(i later find out that my sober friend, an avid outdoorsman, felt too sketchy to climp up to where we were) I have never felt so superhuman...something was guiding my every step, jump, hop.

as sun was setting we found ourselves back at camp. The most vivid and bizarre image came to me then...I'm fucking a giant female lizard at the mouth of the canyon...she's old...this is her place....she allowed us to play...

i cried after that for a while. it felt so real....but who can say?

thanks