The last trip I will ever take.

And I have finally finished with drugs. My Saturday morning/Friday night would have been enough for about anybody. I suppose I should tell the story.

I got about 11 grams of mushrooms (a deal for 30 bucks) and headed over to a friends house. Me, being a complete idiot, ate the whole bag. That was a mistake. Another friend ate about 1 gram of the same mushrooms. This was enough to make him trip. Needless to say, 11 times that was more than enough.
It started out alright. We were sitting in my friend's basement and I had finished all of them off in the form of a shroom 'n jelly sandwich. We started to watch Ice Age as I waited for them to kick in. They took a while still, but when they kicked in, they REALLY kicked in.
At first I felt like I was made completely out of water and was kind of spreading out onto the floor. One minute we were watching the middle of the movie, and the next it was the credits. Time sped up, slowed down, and at one point completely stopped.
When nothing I did evoked a response from anyone and I no longer knew where I was or how I came to be there, I started to freak out. I thought I was dead, dreaming, or completely insane. All I knew was that I had no choice left but to end it. If I was already dead, I had to to cross over into death, or else I was a ghost doomed to wander the earth without ever communicating with anybody again. If I was dreaming, it was a horrible nightmare and I wanted to stop dreaming or wake up. If I was insane, I wanted to die.
Moving for the first time in what seemed like a very long time, I stood up, pushed one of my friends out of the way, ran upstairs and got in my car. Another friend followed and tried to grab the keys and get me out of the car. I pushed him away and slammed on the gas. I had been parked in the front of my friend's driveway which was on the left side of his house, and I drove through his back yard and over a hill, almost flipping the car. I kept going across a road and clipped a fire hydrant. I then turned and drove into a neighbor's driveway. I hit their basketball pole and went through their garage door, missing a brick wall by about a foot and, luckily, going through the side of their garage without a car in it.
The fact that I had been in this horrible looking accident and was completely unhurt further convinced me that I wasn't in the real world. I rolled down my window and climbed out it. I then continued to look for a way to kill myself. I saw some pruning shears, but I couldn't bring myself to do it that way because it just seemed like it would be too painful. I now realized that I felt cold, which confused me because I was absolutely sure that I was still physically in my friend's basement. I tried to enter the house I had crashed into to find a warm comfortable place to lie down for a while before trying again, but the only door I saw was locked.
A man working on the house next door ran over and asked me if I was alright. In my head however, it came out as an unconcerned, "Wow, that was a doozy. Did you see that? That was one helluva hit." Not believing he was real either, I grabbed in his pocket trying to find his keys, but only grabbing 20 dollars, which he promptly took back from me.
A short time later the police and fire department arrived. I remember their faces, but their words were lost. In that state, I was not exactly compliant with their demands. The police officer had to make me lie on my stomach and put my hands behind my back so he could handcuff me.
The next thing I knew I was in the hospital, hands and feet tied to the bed and a neck brace on. I, however, still believed I was lying in the same basement it had all started in, and couldn't figure out why I was unable to roll over into a comfortable position to lie down. I also didn't know why I was naked, because I couldn't remember the paramedics cutting off my shirt and sweatshirt and taking the rest of my clothes. I struggled like a madman to free myself from my restraints. At one point I got my chin under my neck brace and began chewing on it. I'm told that at another I was able to almost pull off one of the arm restraints.
Later I woke up to discover that it wasn't some horrible nightmare. I really had driven my car through a garage. I really was in the hospital. I really did fuck myself over.
I did, however get very lucky in a few ways. I wasn't hurt. More importantly, nobody else was hurt. My car may not be totaled. On the other hand, I am being charged with DUI, reckless operation on private property, failure to control my vehicle, probably use of a controlled substance, and obstruction of justice (failure to comply with the police officer's orders).

So basically, to sum it all up, I was a whole shitload of stupid.

This trip started around 11 pm or so, and I wasn't done tripping until I woke up in the hospital, about 3 pm the next day. I have not yet gone to court, and I don't know what the damages will be. I was told approximately $3000 for the garage door I drove through. My car will probably need a new bumper and the parts that direct air flow into the engine are broken. It is possible that there is a good bit of damage to the underside from bottoming out after going over the hill. It is unclear how much damage was done to the other car in the garage and how much will be covered by insurance.