It was February break and the long awaited arrival of shroom’s had finally come. It would be my third time doing them but this time I decided to do an entire 1/8th. Last time I had done about ½ of an 1/8th and the time before that I did about 3/4 of an 1/8 . I heard that doing an 1/8th of these pacific shrooms would be quite a trip. Me and a bunch of my friends, 5 guys and 3 girls, decided to do them at this girls house because her parents were gone for a week and we could stay there all day. I was excited because we were all going to do them together, me and the 5 guys were going to do 1/8th each, including one of the girls, and the other 2 girls were going to do half an 1/8th. We all came together in the kitchen to consume the shrooms at around 2 o’clock in the afternoon. This would be the last time I would know time. I put my shrooms in a cup of chocolate pudding, as did most of us, and quickly consumed them. After this I went upstairs with the guys and smoked a blunt. I had eaten the shrooms on an empty stomach because I had bought a sandwich on the way to her house , that I had forgotten to eat. This would prove to make the shrooms a lot more powerful, or so I believe. As I walked down the stairs I immediately began to feel the effects of the mushrooms. I didn’t know if it was being high from the weed that made me feel a little “weird” but I know the shrooms had something to do with it because it wasn’t just a weed high. This is when I knew I was in for a crazy ride because the other times I had done shrooms I had not felt anything until about an hour later. It had only been about 10 minutes. This was the last time I would know reality.
I remember walking into the kitchen to check up on everyone else. They all told me they were beginning to feel “something”. I felt a thirst come over me but I couldn’t find the right cup to drink from. I don’t know why but for some reason a green cup on the top shelf was what I “needed”. I filled it up with water and began chugging, but I couldn’t quench my thirst. I began yelling “im the man with the green cup”, but none was “listening”. I don’t know why but I felt the need to be the guy with the green cup. I began running in and out the front door yelling about my green cup, I don’t know what exactly I was saying but this was the beginning of the trip, it would only get worse from here....much worse.
I began feeling scared at this point, I don’t know what kind of fear but it was a mix of paranoia and a sense of “not being human”. I felt as though I was a walking set of eyes that were attached to a glob of skin. It was disgusting I thought and scary that I would be this set of walking eyes forever. Everything I thought about would bring a great fear to me. I guess this is why they say not to shroom if u have a lot on your mind, because everything I thought about was just frightening and completely insane. As I tried to talk to people I realized they were in a very similar state as me. It was hard to get words out or hear what people were saying. Everyone was in all different areas of the house doing different things. I walked back into the kitchen with my green cup and sat down. This is when the hallucinations began.
I sat in a chair in the kitchen that felt way to big. I drank from my cup but spilt some water on my chin. I don’t know why but this terrified me. I felt soaking wet and the more I tried to dry my chin the more “wet” I felt. I remember yelling to everyone that I was soaking wet but they were all in their own little shroom worlds. This is when all chaos began.
I looked into my green cup and then looked around the room. Everything was green. This scared the living shit out of me. I felt as though I was wearing those toy glasses that make you see the world in a different color but this was way different because I remember the colors changing and “bending” all around me. I began running around the house, feeling trapped in the color green. I went back to the kitchen which had turned maroon. I asked two of my friends that were sitting at the kitchen table if they were seeing colors. They gave me an eerie look and stared into my eyes. I felt terrified and ran upstairs. The way this girls house is designed was almost perfect for any shroom trip. Every room was a different color, and full of all sorts of insane artwork and sculptures. This only added to the trip. At this point I was beginning to loose all sense of life. Everything to me was moving and breathing. All objects were “creeping up on me” and I couldn’t fight them off. Each piece of artwork on the wall seemed to be a swirling bubble of color that wanted to suck me up. I was terrified. I went into a room where I heard System of a Down being played on the stereo. I saw my friend Jay sitting Indian style on the bed yelling for me to come in and look at the sheets with him. The sheets had pictures of people on them and he was trying to show me this but I don’t remember exactly what it was. All I wanted to do was shut off the fucking music that was “filling up my brain” with crazy thoughts. I remember kicking the stereo to shut it off but it wouldn’t go off. I then unplugged it which I remember upset Jay as he yelled to me “why you gotta do that man”. I ran into the bathroom and looked at myself but it wasn’t me I was looking at. I don’t know who I was looking at but it was very scary. I remember seeing the toilet paper unrolling itself and coming towards me as the floors were changing colors and moving. All things around me were living. I felt like I was in some kind of mystical world with creatures and objects full of life. Objects were alive and changing forms. They were beding and swirling in every direction. This is when my body began feeling more and more uncomfortable.
Death was a feeling that was now coming over me. I remember people talking to each other saying “you think he’s ok, he doesn’t look so good”. I could hear them and I knew they were talking about me. This brought an even greater fear to me as I thought I was dying. I remember pacing back and forth in a hallway upstairs. I couldn’t stop moving, I felt as though if I stopped I would stop breathing. I kept walking into rooms but no room felt “right”. Each room was its own world that was full of life. The greatest fear was about to come over me as I walked into Shelby’s room. Her room is painted with vines on the walls that of course were moving all around and coming at me. I thought they were going to cover my body so I hid in a corner of the room near her computer. I kept telling myself that I was just imagining all of it but that didnt seem to help. I remember looking behind me and seeing this green, I guess cardboard cutout, of a body leaning up against the wall. It looked as though it was coming at me and I ran out of the room in fear. For I second I felt happy that I was still alive and I celebrated this with Jay. He said “are you good man” I said “yah” as I did feel a little better. But this wouldn’t last.
I went into the white room again with Jay and sat on the bed. I remember moving all around the bed, not being able to find the right position. I remember two of the girls walking into the room and me yelling for them to “get the fuck out”. I yelled because for some reason they scared me. My paranoia came back at this point and I remember the girls kept trying to get in but I wouldn’t let them. I remember how they looked different to me. I could see them but I couldn’t register who they were. I couldn’t take it anymore so I ran downstairs and outside to my car. I remember feeling a great sense of death as I walked to my car, like at any moment I was going to go. I jumped into my car and turned on the engine. It was freezing and I needed heat but the sound of the heater and the car running terrified me. I ran back inside. At this point I felt “wrong” in my cloths. I needed new ones. I remember tearing apart a closet, trying to find the perfect jacket. No jacket was “right”, one was too big, another to small, even the ones that fit weren’t “right”. For some reason this pissed the fuck out of me. I remember becoming full of rage and fear. I felt like breaking things, a feeling that was so strong, one I never felt before. I don’t know what I exactly did but I know things broke. The fear was getting the best of me as things continued to move and breath. I couldn’t escape this crazy zoo of a house as the people around me were feeling the same craziness as I. The more crazy we were becoming the more we fed off of each others fear. I remember walking into the living room to see a bunch of people lying on the couch as Jay was talking about something. He was holding toilet paper and claiming I was full of shit. This scared me as I remember actually smelling shit and believing I was covered in it. I ran to the bathroom and began washing myself but I thought my skin was being sucked into the drain. This was the point that I thought it was all over. I remember hearing Dug or someone playing the piano. He was playing a sad song that made me feel like this was the “end”. I remember feeling really sad like it was all over and I didn’t want to die yet. I felt nauseous but I could not throw up. I then remembered that I hadn’t eaten all day and maybe that was what would kill me. I decided I needed to eat and remembered the sandwich I had bought and left in the kitchen. I don’t know how but somehow me and the sandwich ended up in Shelby’s room. I remember taking a bit out of it and quickly stopping. I looked into the sandwich and saw a world of craziness. The sandwich was alive and it freaked me out. I threw it on the floor and spit out the piece in my mouth and ran into the bathroom. I remember looking out the window and thinking the cops were surrounding the house. I remember Jay coming in and telling me everything would be ok and we had to fight to get through this. He showed me his role of toilet paper and said if I looked at it I would live. I didn’t buy it. I ran out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Now Some of my friends were in a similar fearful state as I which made me even more scared. One of the girls was on the verge of tears and I tried to make her feel better. More of my friends came into the kitchen, talking crazy shit that I don’t even remember. It was pure chaos as none knew what was happening or what could be done to resolve the situation, even though there was no situation to resolve. I looked into my friends faces which freaked the fuck out of me. Their faces began moving and distorting. As each person came towards me their bodies became more and more distorted and “shaky”. The whole kitchen was now purple and I ran out in fear. I realized the whole house was purple and I couldn’t take it. I went into the basement which seemed like a tiny cave with little people living in the walls. I remember thinking I was holding a rifle and I yelled at them to fuck off. I ran back upstairs and told everyone that the bears were coming. I actually convinced myself that bears were all around the house and we needed to lock the doors. I didn’t feel safe in any room as I continued to walk and pace. I went into the Shelby’s moms room and laid on the bed. I wasnt comfortable. The bed, which seemed to eat me alive, kept changing in a way I cant describe. I jumped up and realized the room had changed color so I ran into the living room. The couch was breathing and I didn’t know how much longer this would last. I was tired of this fear and I wanted it to stop.
At this point I don’t really remember much of what happened as it is mostly a blur but I know for a fact the insanity only got worse. We had all gone crazy and it was not seeming to end. I don’t know how much time had passed but it was now dark and this is about where I begin to remember again.
I remember walking around the downstairs and going into a brown room. I sat at the chair and thought I saw a rifle on the table in front of me. I remember hearing the room tell me to pick up the gun and shot myself so I quickly ran into the kitchen. At this point most of the people were in the kitchen. I felt like the only safe place for me was inside a dog cage in the kitchen so I went inside and tried to sleep. This freaked the fuck out of Shelby as she couldn’t take it and ran upstairs. I remember going upstairs to check on her and seeing a few people in her room with the lights off. She was lying on the bed. I remember licking the bed because I was starving and for some reason it tasted delicious. I was infatuated by the bed and the room. I guess this was the point where the drugs started to wear off because everything was more beautiful and less scary. I liked everything and I was more comfortable with my surroundings. This is when I remember the babysitter arriving. At this point I was able to be more myself and I knew her being home was a negative thing. I knew we were in trouble and needed to leave. The house was an absolute mess. Their were cloths everywhere and all sorts of food and liquid on the floor. Things were broken and we were all still pretty fucked up. Jay, Liz and I decided to leave but I remember being scared again because I didn’t want to enter the real world. I was scared to leave the house behind because I felt it was now a part of me. It was insanely sad to walk to my car. Even though I had just experienced the most insane trip of my life, I felt as though it was part of me and if I left I would leave behind everything I had become. I cant explain the feeling in words but that’s as close to it as I can get. I remember now feeling like I was in a movie. As we backed out into the road I remember feeling like everything we would say was like an awesome catch phrase from a movie. As we began to drive away my friend lit me up a cigarette and I felt as though it was the conclusion to this movie. Everything I experienced was pure insanity but it was beautiful at times, so fucking beautiful. A life changing experience.