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The bad trip

When I first took mushrooms for my first time the expirience was deceiving and completely not the whole truth.

When I first took mushrooms for my first time the expirience was deceiving and completely not the whole truth. So when i decided to take them again I was in for a complete shock and a life changing expirience that i had never expected.
It all started around 7:30. I was at my friend Joel's old house which is a frequent party house with lots of people coming in and going all the time. Not an ideal setting to shroom in but I had no idea then. I made mushroom tea and mixed one and a half eighths of closed capped cubenzies then went to the couch got comfortable and began to drink. At first i didn't feel anything, but then i began to feel this intense body high. I remember i was looking at a Jane magazine at the time and King of the Hill was on t.v. in the backround. I started to feel like I was just really stoned except the difference was that I was talking a lot and about nothing really that made any sense. I couldn't stop laughing either. More people started coming into the room and my head began to feel sort of detatched from my thoughts. Joel came into the room with a bag of cookies but for some odd reason i got excited because I thought it was a big bag of mushrooms and that everybody was going to shroom with me. It was crazy nonsense thoughts like these that began running through my head. That's when I looked up at the wall. He has tags and graffiti all over his walls but when I looked at them everthing started dripping and running like paint. i began to notice that things were lighted differently too like with sort of a neon glow around them. I thought wow this is cool, because this was the first visual i had ever seen, since the first time that I had taken them they didn't really work. Then I looked over at my friend Brian, and things took a turn to the worst. I remeber that he was rubbing his eyes but it looked like his hands were swirling all around and melting into his face. When he took his hands away I looked into his eyes and they were darting back and forth from side to side. He has tiny braids in his hair and they began to move around like snakes. I began to feel really nasuas and hot. The walls were melting and I was starting to see very noticable tracers with everything that moved infront of me. I decided that I was going to go to the bathroom because I was starting to feel really sick. Later I learned that I was having a bad trip. When I got into the bathroom all the dirt on the floor and the mold in the corners looked like a mozaic of a maze. I went to the toilet and kneeled down calling for my best friend Kate, who was sober, to come sit with me. I started feeling really scared and began saying things Like "I don't like this" and "it wasn't like this when I did it before" I was panaking so I kept asking questions to kate like " how much longer am I going to feel like this". It was like I had no control over my body and that idea really scared me. I looked into the mirror and my face turned into the cheshire cat from alice in wonderland. I began to think terrible things like what if I'm stuck in this altered state of mind forever and will i ever come down. All the sudden as if everything was fine I got up because i decided that I needed to go for a walk. "Do you want me to come" kate asked, "no i need to be alone right now" I snapped.
When I got outside it was very dark. When I car would pass all I could make out was a big bubble shape and two big headlights beaming on me. it seemed that every car that went by would slow down as if they new I was tripping and wanted to watch. I began to hear whispering and giggling, talking and singing. I kept turning around to see what it was but everytime I did no one would be there. I was hearing all kinds of things and I started to feel nausuas again. I began talking to myself to make myself feel better. i would say things like "i'm o.k." "it's o.k. just take a deep breath then randomly I would say things like " Hey don't be sneaky, I can hear you, don't hide" to the imaginary sounds I was hearing in my head. In an hour I had walked down one street maybe only a couple feet forward as with each sound I heard in confusion I would turn around go the opposite direction and then reverse again. I decided to go back to Joels house because I was starting to feel really cold. When I got to the door everything was warm and fuzzy and dome shaped. They had really loud hip hop music playing in the backround and it sounded as if everyone was talking to the beat of the song. It was making me feel sick. I was also becoming a different personality. I was becoming a little girl. I started talking like a little girl and acting like one too. I was saying thing like " i'm scared" and " i want to go home" I decided that joels was not a good place to be and that I wanted to walk to the park. So I left. On the way to the park whenever I'de pass people they'de look like little knomes with tall pointy hats and every tree and bush and flower I'de want to stop and look at. I'de look at bushes and the vines would start to move and intertwine with eachother. I'de look at things like wooden walls and fences and see faces and swirls like an oil spill moving all around. I began to feel very scared again so I would sing and talk to myself to make myself feel better. I was so oblivios to how crazy I probably looked an sounded to every person that walked by. I was walking to my house now instead of the park this didn't surprise me eighther as with each decision I made, five minutes later I would seem to change my mind. Now I live with my grandma who is a very strict person and she would be devastated if she new I'de tried smoking a ciggarette let alone taking mushrooms. But I was so determined to go home because I was feeling scared again and I wanted to be in my room beacause it was pink and happy or so I thought. But as soon as I got there it turned into a disaster. I thought my grandma was asleep because I thought it was a lot later then it actually was. My conseption of the time was completely off. She was there to open the door, and as soon as I walked in she stared asking me questions like what time I had to work tomorrow and if I'de called my uncle about fixing my car and it was really tripping me out. I just looked at her and as calmly as I could said "i'm really tired lets just talk about it in the morning" and went straight up to my room. But the room I entered was nothing like the room I had pictured in my head. It was hot and stuffy and since it was messy all the stuff all over the floor was tripping me out. It looked like there were vines crawling all over the walls. And I realized that I needed to get out of that house becasue there was no way I was going to be able to trip without telling my grandma or waking her up. I was feeling nasuas again or as I like to call it now "the waves" and it felt like my clothes were choking me. So I put on the quickest most comfortable thing I could find and that was blue spandex pants, black platform shoes, and a big baggy Oregon sweatshirt. with that I decided that I was going to have to spend the other 4 hours left outside waiting to come down. I went downstairs to get a drink of water and as i sipped it it felt like a mushroom monster was crawling down my throat and stirring my up chuck reflex. I went outside and it was snowing. I was freezing cold but there was no way i was going to go back inside so I went and sat on the corner at the end of the street. Here I was talking loudly to myself, but it felt like i was saying it in my head then I'de realize really I was saying it outloud. I began to think thouhgts like " why am I all alone" "I'm going to die" My hands were so cold and it felt like my whole body was shutting down. I kept walking and stopping to sit somewhere to kill the time because all I wanted now was to come down. everywhere I went was wet and cold an I was so uncomfortable. I thought that I was dying or that I had overdosed and not known it because everyones body handles mushrooms differently. I started to panick and decided that I was going to walk to the hospital and turn myself in or else I was going to kill myself. I started walking towards the hospital then I stopped because I realized that I would be in so much trouble if I did that and that was i was just over reacting because I was scared. I sat back down. I was hearing music and sirens in my head everywhere. I looked across the street and I saw me sitting starring back at the real me. I was having an out of body expirience. I thought whoa that's weird and then with the blink of an eye the "me" across the street turned into a big trashcan. I was thinking all sorts of deep thoughts. Like how much i loved my family, and how i wanted to improve and become a better person with more direction. i closed my eyes and let the visuals take over my head. What I saw with my eyes closed was entiraly different then anything I'de seen before. It was like a kaliedascope of colors spinning and twisting. i saw eyes and hands weaving into eachother and big flourescent mushrooms and all sorts of psychadelic images. It was beatiful. But the beauty was surpressed with the overwhelming yuckiness and craziness i was feeling inside. I was at my peak now. And I was saying really wierd things out loud. Like I was trying to speak Japanese even though i don't know it all. and i was making weird noises. A man on a bike pulled over and asked me if i was o.k. and i told him no. He seemed pretty cool so I told him what was up and how i had taken mushrooms and was just having a bad time wherever i tried to go. I was so cold and he asked if he could do anything for me. I said i really wanted to be in a warm sleeping bag and drink a glass of water. He happened to live up the street from me and told me I could come down at his house. It was crazy of me to just go to some random strangers house I don't even know, but that's what mushrooms do to you. They distort your perseption. In the end he turned out to be very nice and trust worthy. He let me lie on the couch and gave me warm sweats to put on and a sleeping bag and brought me a glass of water. I was just starting to come down, but I was still hullusinating miledly. he had dogs and cats and they seemed to be acting really werid they were walking back and forth and i didn't like that the cats kept trying to crawl on me. I saw clocks all over the walls like old grandfather and cookoo clocks. I've heard that when you touch and pet animals when your schrooming you pass the poisen to them too through your sweat so posibly that could be why the animals seemed to be acting so strange. I decided then that finally I was getting tired. So i closed my eyes. I was so tired of hullusinating I was just wanted to be me again. 2 hours later I decided to go home. I had finally come down and so as soon as i got home I cmpletley passed out. I woke up the next day and was so releived to be me again.
Since then I have taken mushrooms many times. All my expireinces have been different but I haven't taken that many again. i just usually take half an eighth now. I think mushrooms if used properly are a wonderful tool in opening your mind and making you realize just how special it is to just be you. It's like when your on them your expiriencing your last minutes of life. You think with that mentality like all the things you wanted to say and do only it's like you actually succeed and accomplish them the next day without dying. I hope that this report has been of some interest to whoever takes the time to read it. remeber "not all those who wander are lost".

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