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Stuck on the Couch

On Wed.

On Wed. 18 (?) 1999, which was 3 days ago, I bought an eighth of shrooms from a local guy who i met recently. I had done shrooms before, but had never really had any as powerful as these. He said they were "crucial", but I didnt believe him cause thats what everyone says when they want to sell you something. Anyway I picked them up, and after saying goodbye to my friends who i had been chilling with, I headed home to trip. I stopped on a small side street, where i ate about half of the bag, which was probly 4 caps and 3 stems and some pinches of shake. (I usually eat an eighth all at once, but I didnt want to be tripping in front of my parents who were home). The drive took me about 10-15 minutes, and I just started to buzz a little when i got home. I talked to my family for a little while and then when i was pretty sure that my mom was going to sleep soon I went downstairs to finish off the eighth and watch some t.v. I polished off the rest quickly, eating them like popcorn. I guess i am unusual cause I like the taste and enjoy eating them snack-style. Only about 5 minutes later, they started kicking in much harder, and as I was watching "Escape from New York" on HBO i started finding the movie really funny. Then i began writhing around on my couch because the sensation was really amazing. It felt like my limbs were tangled all around each other and i felt like i was somehow clinging to the side of the sofa like an octopus. The stronger the trip got, the more I felt like a human octopus. It was fun as hell, but I decided to try to find out what else was on tv, so i picked up the cable guide. It took my forever to find the page for that evening, and when i did I couldnt read the print! That's when i noticed how hard I was tripping and just how much I had began to hallucinate. The fireplace was warped beyond belief, the flowers on the table were swaying as if there was wind, and everything was seen through a screen of melting colors. I got up and walked into another room, and the trip intesified even more. I got really confused about everything, and couldnt make myself do anything but stand in one spot. After a lot of mental struggling, I forced myself to open the basement door, and for some reason try to talk to my brother, who immediately knew I was messed. He started walking upstairs, but the footsteps were so loud that I thought he was charging up at a run to do some god-knows-how-awful thing to me. I almost paniced, but i was able to maintain, and I walked back to the tv room, where I found Sinbad's comedy hour on Comedy Central. My brother walked in at this point and commented on how dilated my eyes were, and then proceeded to freak me out by saying our mom was walking around upstairs. At this point I lost a lot of my ability to communicate, and I couldn't answer any of my brothers questions like "Are you shrooming?" and "How much did you eat?". He gave up, and then sat next to me as we watched Sinbad. The trip was still getting stronger and stronger, and soon I was sweating profusely and feeling a little faint. My body didn't feel comfortable in any position on my couch, so I just closed my eyes and tried to calm down a bit. Soon I was blasted into another world, where all I saw were 3D web-like patterns of thick bands of color running all over, and I experienced the loudest sounds I had ever heard. Screams that didn't sound painful, but more like someone was trying to reach me from far away. I tried to think, to have a coherent string of consciousness, but I couldn't do it. My thoughts were translated into sounds that sounded like roaring water and dolphins calls and jarbled babbling that I somehow could understand, although it wasn't what I was really trying to say. I tried to leave that place, but I couldn't go. I tried to remember who my friends were, so that maybe they could come get me, but when I tried to call their names I only heard louder roars and high pitched echoes. After a few months of living in that place, I opened my eyes. To my right was my brother still sitting on the couch, and Sinbad was still doing his stand-up show. I was so confused I felt like I was going to totally flip out, and I started shifting all around in the couch. I wanted so badly to go to some other room, where it was quiet, because although I am sure the volume on the television wasnt very high, it sounded like the comedian was SCREAMING as he spoke, and his screams echoed in my ears. Because I kept moving all around, my brother looked over at me and asked if I was alright. I closed my eyes for what I thought would be a blink, but instead I was back in the place where I couldn't think or make any sense of anything. It felt like I spent at least a day or two in there, but when I opened my eyes, my brother was looking at me, and again he asked if I was alright. I couldnt answer, so I layed back on the couch. Eventually he went to bed, and I stayed on the couch watching Sinbad. There was nothing that I wanted more than to leave the room and find some place where I could choose some soothing music and maybe turn on a fan or two. But no matter how much i tried i couldnt make myself get up. The trip finally peaked, and I lost my vision totally except for occasional flashes of my tv room. I could not remember who i was or where i lived. My mind ran in circles and would only produce the babbling screams that only I could understand. They weren't any sort of words, only jarbled noises. After what seemed like hours and hours of this, I calmed down, and began to believe that this was not any different from the rest of my life. Maybe my mind always worked this way, maybe I had always been so confused and alone. The more I thought about it, the more I believed it, only I couldnt remember any of my life. Therefore I wasn't sure that I was always like this. One moment I was able to see flashes, and it seemed that I was in my kitchen, walking towards the stairs to my room. I saw another flash of me on the stairs, and finally one of me oopening my door. Once I came down enough to know who i was, i realized that I was lying in my bed. I had gone all the way to my room without knowing it, and it was a miracle I didnt wake everyone up. I spent the rest of that night unable to sleep, wondering what time it was, because it never seemed to get light outside. I just sat in bed trying to remember what had happened.

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