scared to this day

one day after school i decided to eat some mushrooms i had from the previous weekend. I ate them alone and then went wardering around my house because no one was home. i then decided to go down to the creek and smoke a bowl to myself in the nature, but as i was walking down to the creek i passed my friends house and i saw that he was home and his parents were not. This friend was and still is one of my closest friends ever, anyways i ended up going to his house and hanging out with him and his girlfriend, everything was going good until i realized that i was the only one tripping. i began to feel very alone, everything i said made no sence to them. I felt like a little kid tagging along with the big kids, and i didn't like it. It wasn't bad enough to send me into a bad trip but it just made me feel kind of lame. we then got into his car to take his girlfriend to work, on the way back when we re-enterd the neighborhood i saw a very familiar truck parked on the corner of my friends coldasack. It was my fathers truck... i dont live with or see my dad and at the time he was in trouble with the law for child abuse and neglect. So seeing my dad sober was scary enough, but seeing him tripping... i was terrified. my dad pulls me out of the car and starts yelling at me. i dont know what he said cuz to me it just sounded like some insane nonsensical slurr of i dunno "demon" voices if u will. I managed to keep my head and he did not know i was tripping, but the fear i felt was so extream that to this day im still not over it, iv been very depressed, i'v been feeling insane, and i need to get over that experience but im still kinda scared to trip again. Im not like thoughs people who treat mushrooms like a drug, i treat it like an enlightening and a euphoric experience that i enjoy and im thinking that if i trip again i will be over this depression and anxity and i will feel better. But still the fact that i am depressed makes me kinda of scared of having another bad trip. i dont realy know what kind of advise im looking for, but if u have any i would realy appericate it. (im not the best in the spelling department.)