In 1989 I was studying the southern Indian's of Mexico and was interested
in there "sacred spiritual journey's" that was induced by a mushroom.
My interest led to me taking part in my own spiritual journey. Upon ingesting the mushroom I became separate from my body, I was still
in my body but my mind and intellect were separate from my body. Internally I became very quiet and child-like, yet my intellect was still understanding the experience I was going through. My attention then expanded outward onto the entire earth, and when it did I could sense deep sorrow and pain from souls in the world. I could sense people crying out. When I felt this a powerful thought came to my mind and it was a wish. "I wished for peace in the world" When this thought vibration expanded outward into the world a moment of peace came over me, however that did not last for I could sense a powerful reaction to that thought returning back to me. It was very strange, for when the reaction hit me, my body became violently ill. I was afraid of what was happening to me.
I then heard within my mind a very quiet, loving, yet stern message that said "you are not ready" and my reaction was "I am sorry, with such heartfelt apologies" A thought then came to my mind. Sit crossed legged with my back straight and hands on my lap. I closed my eyes and all I could see was a fine golden-red glowing light, I intensely concentrated my mind on one thought and that was peace again, but this time I was completely focused.
What happened next shook my intellect, for what I saw on the screen of my mind was world destruction. From what I can recall I saw wars, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes and then nuclear war, but it didn't stop there, I then sensed that the entire physical universe was being destroyed or renewed and that is when I put a full stop to my thoughts for I honestly thought that at that moment I was responsible for the destruction of the universe and gathered my thoughts once again.
When I did stop and let my mind and intellect just focus on inner peace and not fight with the negative vibrations of the world everything around me became calm. The beautiful thing about it was even though it was 2:00am in the morning the world seemed very bright, actually all of nature had an luminous beautiful glow to it and when I gently looked at a tree and it's leaves, the leaves seemed to be peacefully dancing with such beautiful rhythm and as I listened and I could hear wonderful music emanating from
nature it's self. It was a blissful moment. My thought was I wonder if this is what heaven is like because I was experiencing another world. My consciousness was in a pure state at that moment. What is also interesting is since I was in a forest I could sense the curiousness of the animals minds around me, I couldn't understand them I just new that they were curious as to what was happening. I could hear them moving about in the
forest. My attention was then pulled inward for though my physical eyes were opened I saw very clearly on the screen of my mind a subtle light within my forehead, very tiny and there was an oval glow to it that radiated light.
I then stood up and began to walk around, and the wonderful thing was it was as if I was walking in a body of light because there was no heavy feeling of the body anymore. When I moved around my understanding was I was the "being of light" inside this body. I could sense that I was directing my body from the point in my forehead. I and this
body are separate I thought. I was very aware of the detail of its movement. It was like a gentle dance moving around in this body. I thought to my self I am controlling it. It was such an angelic feeling.
However, the situation turned around. In a split second a thought entered my mind. Do I have the ability to control matter (nature). As soon as this thought went into the surrounding atmosphere, a distant and uncomfortable feeling within me started to grow, my understanding of it now was I imposed my will, my impure thoughts on nature. I became more aware of my body and I began to feel very heavy and sick again, the light that nature was emanating disappeared and it became very dark around me, actually it had become pitch black. The surrounding atmosphere had a hellish appearance to it, morbid faces formed around me. I could feel every atom in my body as if I was this heavy costume of flesh. I smelled rotting flesh and it was as if my consciousness was not separate from the body anymore, I was now the body, my consciousness was completely on the body and I could sense that it was decaying, dying. I was giving off bad vibrations and my attention was on the surroundings, I had a small fire near me that was keeping me warm during the night and when my attention was on it the flames grew higher and higher so I turned away. I could sense the impure thoughts from the souls that occupied the earth, there thoughts made me feel very uncomfortable.
I could hear in the distance wolves howling and when my attention was on them I could sense restlessness and fighting. My attention was so concentrated at the time, but it was a body conscious attention. I realized that when I focused on anything in the world I would influence it with my mind and I would have such a negative influential effect on the object of my attention. I would start pulling the attention of animals or people towards
me, and my thought was, the more my attention was directed towards them the closer they would get and the closer I felt they were getting I sensed rage and anger within them was increasing towards me to a point where if they found me they would harm me.
However another thought came to mind, focus within and be calm, just make my thoughts calm, don't force it, just be calm naturally, change the ocean of storms within my mind into a narrow gentle stream that flowed so beautifully. When I did this the horror, the "Hell" I was experiencing around me slowly faded away, however my mind began to pull my attention away from the peace and I would again experience tension and so again I calmed my self. I never thought of asking for help from God because I didn't know who God was at that time in my life. There were fleeting visions I had when I would return to a peaceful state of mind and what I saw was a world of peaceful human beings but when my attention was pulled into body consciousness again the people that inhabited that world seemed to turn there attention away from me and again I fell into the battle between my intellect and my mind. I had an understanding of what to do to get out of the negative situation but the mind was VERY powerful and kept pulling me back into that body conscious state. I was trapped in a constant cycle, a battle between mind and intellect, peace and peacelessness.
Time passed and slowly I was returning back to my regular state of consciousness, descending back to the "normal" world I was used to. I could see the sun peering through the fog and trees. My experience was complete. I felt relieved and relaxed.
One last set of thoughts did enter my mind. The mind is a very powerful instrument and anything is possible if you just focus your mind and intellect. But I was then pulled by my impure personality traits and these types of thoughts entered my mind: lust, anger, greed, attachment and ego type thoughts. This was an obvious sign that I had to work on myself within to attain the higher consciousness I experienced earlier.
It was the most beautiful and amazing experience I have ever had and has left a deep impression.
Recently I have had a thought Mar 2005 of taking another inward journey.