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Earlier this month I made the decision to "partake"; after meager preperation rituals I took about eleven grams Psilocybe cubensis with three grams P. Harmala seeds mixed into Orange Juice. Needless to say, I was in for far more than I ever expected. As the initial waves of patterned color rushed over my dark ceiling, an urgency suddenly overwhelmed me; I fatally concluded that life depended on my ability to "keep one foot in reality". I rushed to the bathroom to put my contacts in, the first one went in successfully. However, in the time it took me to get the first contact in, the effects were increasing in intensity. I took the second contact out of its case to discover that its elliptic structure had transformed into a perpetually moving moebius strip of perceptual dimensions. For an endless eternity I attempted to get that damn contact in, but it was not to be--I took the first one out and threw them both away. By this time--I estimate about 30 minutes into the trip--I had decided that reality would be secured by light. If I could get the lights on, reality would return. As I emerged from the bathroom the profundity of my situation became clear--the thin string of consensus perception could not persist in this landscape.
I went to turn on the lights, only to find that for each light I turned on, another was extinguished; as the centuries turned to eras and the eras to epochs my task grew in importance: the world must have a light to guide them out of this gothic labyrinth. Reality taunted, and cooed in the infinite tongues of the void. Even today, I do not believe that my task has ceased; somewhere I'm still turning on lights. But, the mushroom had something other than light in store for me; as I turned on a final light, what I can only describe as another me, separate from me but me all the same, smashed through from a parallel dimension, tore my soul from its luminary task, leaving a parallel me in its wake, and thrust me into time before being. The hours that followed simply defy communication. I existed as pure conciousness; not only did I not have a body, but did not have a concept of any body. Not only was I no longer male, I had no concept of maleness. Language was something that did not exist, for communication was of no use; things simply culminated into an expression of their/my/its purpose. The particulars evade me, I simply can't know what happened because it was/is utterly impossible. Such a thing cannot be.
The funny thing is, I never remember actually coming down--it was not as if I suddenly woke up, or slowly regained sense of reality--I just simply am not bemushroomed at this point in time, but a part of something larger than me still knows that somewhere amongst the infinity I am contemplating god.
I apologize for what appears above, for this particular experience has left me quite breathless--very difficult to pull together. However, a few entheogenic postulates have formed themselves. Firstly, high/heroic doses are for individuals, low doses are for group experiences. Human bonding cannot occur in the void, for humans can't recognize themselves here. Second, the mushroom/eternity is paradox, in all senses; as in Escher art, what appears impossible and contradictory in fact is. For example, experiencing total void/unity serves to enforce and enrich polarities (i.e. masculine/feminine) that are in fact united. Third, creativity is the key to all mysteries--at the edge of the experience, in the void, creation is the key to understanding. Fourth, the soul cannot die--eternity is the receptacle of all souls to whence they return, in some form (be it eternal nothingness). Fifth, even if the soul can and does die, it doesn't matter (I can't explain this). Sixth, conciousness is the gateway to immortality; the soul can escape the vice of DNA.
Anyhow, there's more, but it's late and I've got class tommorrow. I mainly wrote this to attempt an initial coordination of my experience--the whole thing left me deeply and utterly perplexed to the point that I became simultaneously disturbed and delighted at the strangeness of it all. So, thanks for hearing me out (if you have in fact gotten this far). Hope to hear from you soon.