I'VE BEEN ELSEWHERE for quite some time; over the rainbow one could say.
The things I have seen, felt, heard defy my leather tongue. Before I go
on, let me relate to you a recent incident.
Earlier this month I made the decision to "partake"; after meager
preperation rituals I took about eleven grams Psilocybe cubensis with three grams
P. Harmala seeds mixed into Orange Juice. Needless to say, I was in for far
more than I ever expected. As the initial waves of patterned color rushed
over my dark ceiling, an urgency suddenly overwhelmed me; I fatally
concluded that life depended on my ability to "keep one foot in reality". I
rushed to the bathroom to put my contacts in, the first one went in
successfully. However, in the time it took me to get the first contact in,
the effects were increasing in intensity. I took the second contact out of
its case to discover that its elliptic structure had transformed into a
perpetually moving moebius strip of perceptual dimensions. For an endless
eternity I attempted to get that damn contact in, but it was not to be--I
took the first one out and threw them both away. By this time--I estimate
about 30 minutes into the trip--I had decided that reality would be secured
by light. If I could get the lights on, reality would return. As I emerged
from the bathroom the profundity of my situation became clear--the thin
string of consensus perception could not persist in this landscape.
I went to turn on the lights, only to find that for each light I turned
on, another was extinguished; as the centuries turned to eras and the eras
to epochs my task grew in importance: the world must have a light to guide
them out of this gothic labyrinth. Reality taunted, and cooed in the
infinite tongues of the void. Even today, I do not believe that my task has
ceased; somewhere I'm still turning on lights. But, the mushroom had
something other than light in store for me; as I turned on a final light,
what I can only describe as another me, separate from me but me all the
same, smashed through from a parallel dimension, tore my soul from its
luminary task, leaving a parallel me in its wake, and thrust me into time
before being. The hours that followed simply defy communication. I existed
as pure conciousness; not only did I not have a body, but did not have a
concept of any body. Not only was I no longer male, I had no concept of
maleness. Language was something that did not exist, for communication was
of no use; things simply culminated into an expression of their/my/its
purpose. The particulars evade me, I simply can't know what happened because
it was/is utterly impossible. Such a thing cannot be.
The funny thing is, I never remember actually coming down--it was not as if
I suddenly woke up, or slowly regained sense of reality--I just simply am
not bemushroomed at this point in time, but a part of something larger than
me still knows that somewhere amongst the infinity I am contemplating god.
I apologize for what appears above, for this particular experience has
left me quite breathless--very difficult to pull together. However, a few
entheogenic postulates have formed themselves. Firstly, high/heroic doses
are for individuals, low doses are for group experiences. Human bonding
cannot occur in the void, for humans can't recognize themselves here.
Second, the mushroom/eternity is paradox, in all senses; as in Escher art,
what appears impossible and contradictory in fact is. For example,
experiencing total void/unity serves to enforce and enrich polarities (i.e.
masculine/feminine) that are in fact united. Third, creativity is the key to
all mysteries--at the edge of the experience, in the void, creation is the
key to understanding. Fourth, the soul cannot die--eternity is the
receptacle of all souls to whence they return, in some form (be it eternal
nothingness). Fifth, even if the soul can and does die, it doesn't matter (I
can't explain this). Sixth, conciousness is the gateway to immortality; the
soul can escape the vice of DNA.
Anyhow, there's more, but it's late and I've got class tommorrow. I
mainly wrote this to attempt an initial coordination of my experience--the
whole thing left me deeply and utterly perplexed to the point that I became
simultaneously disturbed and delighted at the strangeness of it all. So,
thanks for hearing me out (if you have in fact gotten this far). Hope to
hear from you soon.