Let me just start off by saying that this night changed my life, in more ways than I probably would have liked it to. This is some heavy stuff but here it goes.
So it was December 31, 2002. Just turned 19 a couple weeks earlier. I'm from large town in PA but was going to Colorado State University for my freshman year of college. After my fall semester I was broke so I came home and got fronted a QP (quarter pound) of shrooms from an old "friend" from high school. I do not really condone the selling of mushrooms but my back seemed up against the wall and I was young and it seemed like a good idea at the time to make a little cash to get me back on my feet.
Earlier that day I was getting high on my on supply ate like a half eighth and watched 'Requiem for a Dream' and then 'Sword in the Stone'. What a set of movies to watch while tripping. 'Requiem' showed the dark side of life and how ugly it can be and 'Sword' lightened me up to how beautiful it could be. Later in the night I would get the darkness right in my face.
So I kinda smoked a lot of pot and got my mind right and tried to figure out what I was to do for the New Year's Eve. I had several choices of what to do. Many parties but I was kinda still tripped out and decided to just chill at my "friend's" house that fronted me the shrooms cuz his place was going to be the most low key. He had like a 1/4 in shake from the lb of shrooms he acquired so we were going to make some tea and chill out at his place and chill out for new years eve.
We ended up making tea and he decided he didn't want to take any. We both were kind of at the place where we had eaten enough mushrooms in our life that we didn't need to go any further into them. He was a little wiser than me and I just wanted to get FUCKED up I guess that night on whatever it took. So me and another kid drank a nice dose of tea. I wasn't too chill with the other kid, which made me just uncomfortable in general to be kind of trippin alone, people can probably relate to that.
A bunch of scum bag people ended up coming over to my "friend's" house to chill and one of them had a bunch of coke. I had been in rehab a year earlier and was trying to stay off that shit so I just wasn't feeling sticking around there. I had my QP of shrooms in my car and ended up going out to it and eating a single mushroom that weighed 3.7 grams. These were the kind of shrooms that you ate like 1/2 an eighth and had a mind blowing experience and I had consumed like a 1/4 in the last hour and about 3/8th thoughout the day.
I ended up sketching out and driving back to my house. I sat outside and just couldn't go in because my parents were there and I knew it would be too fucked up going inside with a super headful of shrooms. I got the bright idea to drive to the beach to see the first sunrise of 2003. It seemed like a great idea at the time.
So I called my "friend" from a pay phone to see if he'd go with me but he sketched out cuz he was all coked up. So I ended up going all alone. I got about 15 minutes out of my town and the beach is a good 4-5 hours away, and I got "The Fear". I have had it many times when I was trippin. Its like I had a preminition that through some sequence of events somehow that night I was going to die. Like it was my destiny to die that night some how. It is a fucking insane to go through when you are tripped out of your mind. So I finally realized I had to pee real bad and I stopped on the side of the road and pissed and the fear seemed to leave me.
[This is kind of an aside to whole fear thing: A little over a year after this I dosed heavily on some Acid and realized what the fear was all about. It was that I could die at any point and that the only thing I was afraid of is the way I was living my life. After that acid trip I made some major changes but this is kind of a tangent and hopefully someone can understand it.]
So I finally road on down route 30 east, which is like the slowest way to get to the beach from my house. 30 passes through like so many little towns and is like 45 mph the whole way. About a half hour after I stopped and pissed I was jammin away to some phish and started seeing faces in the sky. It was Jerry Garcia and Jimmy Hendrix. It was kind of like those posters if anyone has ever seen them of them looking down from the heavens on you. But Jerry was calling me to the ocean and telling me that when I got there to just get in and I would drift away with the spirits to a better place than this.
This was some heavy shit. Like my preminition about dying was coming back and Jerry Garcia (one of my idols) was calling me home. I started losing it. Driving real erratically and blasting music. I remember not exactly what song it was but just screaming at the top of my lungs and going crazy, just absolutely insane while driving. Soon enough I had a cop on my tail flashing his lights at me.
I was so high that I just kept driving. At one point a car in front of me had stopped to let me and the cop go by, as the cop was just following me in pursuit because I was too incoherent to stop. I stopped and asked the people in the car which way to the party, meanwhile the cop was flashing his spotlight into my car. I am sorry but this is all kind of broken up. No one can really relate to this probably cuz it is so whacked out, because I was so gone at the time.
So we ended up in a town about an hour and a half from my home and the cop had called ahead to those cops to set up a road block or some shit. It was nuts. I got into the town right at midnight and people were outside everywhere banging pots and setting off fireworks, it was crazy!!!!!! LIke I had no idea what the hell was going on, I had completely forgot it was New Years Eve. There was even a marathon running through the town that started at midnight, like it was some whacky stuff.