Out of Body

Out Of My Own Body

I was on holiday recently in Amsterdam with a mate that I met in college. I had only known him for about 6 months when we decided to go on holiday together.

After arriving in Holland and spending the majority of the morning in ‘Smokey’s’ it a coffee shop about 3-5 min from the train station and about 10 min from the hotel. Where we worked our way through a couple of pints and about 5 joints. I had brought some ‘white widow’ and Tim had brought ‘Jack harer’, we both had about 2.5 grams of the stuff.

About 3’ish we were bored and decided to go and hunt down what we had come for, large amounts on mushrooms. We walk around for about 10 min and had I first and last meal of that day a McD’s. It was not long before we come across ‘mushroom galaxy.’ This place was amazing there was a totally fit bird behind the counter. They were playing Marilyn Manson, which I love listening to, and had a huge range of shrooms.

We decided on 15 grams of fresh philosophers stone (PS) and about 2 grams of Tai. After the pair of us had paid for the shrooms the bird behind the counter gave us a free bag of Mexican/ Hawaiian mix (there was about 3 grams of it which worked out about one and half each). So we headed for the hotel.

About 4pm started to munch my way through the shrooms, find that each type had their own individual horrible taste. The only way I could manage it was by shoving a mix of all three in my mouth at the same time. Stopping a couple of time to drink water or to do a tute (an metal car aerial in a coke bottle, like a bong without cone). After about 30 – 45 min all the mushrooms had gone except this lump of PS, which was mine. This taste was actually painful, I sat on my bed for about 5 min then I lost my stomach to the sink. I then sat on my bed with the horrible taste of mushroom sick in my mouth with no water to drink just my spit. Then all of a sudden I had the though of gutted ness that I had wasted money and was not going to come up at all. Then it hit my like a blast of water in the face, I was fucked. All I could do was lie down and allow all these weird things happened to me. I had no known knowledge of Tim’s presence in the room I was alone as far as I could see it. The roof tiles started to move with swirling patterns. In the center of the roof there was this image of a face that seemed quite menacing so I tried to reframe from looking at it. I looked at the light to try and get a grip on thing but the light did not help at all because one beam of light then split into many separate stands but all of them different colors like the colors of a rainbow or the light spectrum. From what it looked like light had actually been broken down. I was fixed on this now. I could not see the room or Tim or had no grasp on time. There was just the light. It was quite overpowering so I closed my eyes. Then my ears opened to sound of massive attack ‘no protection’ each noise or sound rippled through my body.

I open my eyes to see nothing but white, a bright blinding light. I asked if the light were on but got a reply of “no,” So I closed my eyes again. As I did I could feel myself falling, I didn’t know were I was falling I was spiraling down. Then it stopped with a sort of a thud like I had fell and landed heavily. I opened my eye to see myself lying on the bed in the hotel and if I turned around I could see Tim on his bed. I could not hear or speak, all I could do was watch. Something seemed to be wrong though. In no time at all I saw myself being sick, which happened at the beginning of the trip, then eating mushrooms and feeling the horrible taste in my mouth, popping tutes in the before the whole experience started. In a sort space of time I had seen the mushroom shop with the lush bird in it (this would be a favorite part of the trip, so to speak), ‘Smokey’s’ having large amounts of puff, the train station, the airport the whole day had past before my eyes. But it did not stop there I saw everyday of my life in reverse (holidays from years ago, middle school and playschool) all the way back to my beginning. Again it did not stop at the beginning of my life. It continued when I saw a man an old man, this man was lying down dieing and then he got up and his life started to go backwards. This makes me think (now I have a stable state of mind or as near as) that I was either seeing my past life, or I was seeing the way I died in the future. I did not experience this for long so the period in years was unknown. The old man was wearing a hospital garment, which you would have thought might not have change that much. I did not really make out the face of the person so I don’t know really what he looked like. His death did look quite painful, so either way I have or I am going to feel this horrible pain.
I then heard a voice, which said, “What can you see?” or some thing along the lines like that. Thing then started to feel weird like I was being lifted. The next thing I knew I was sat up in bed, building a pure widow and jack harer joint. I still could see nothing. It was it that point I knew that Tim was there. And I started to speak and talk about what I was doing and seeing.

Tim was telling me that about the time and how long I have been bollocked for, and he was starting to peek. I finished making the joint and sparked it, It tasted the bollocks.

I began to feel all these other weird sensations in my body also my vision started to return, it seemed normal at first, until I got up and changed CD. I put on the music to the phantom menace. I knew that the last song had about 4 tracks some quite powerful and other mellow.

I lied back down after passing the remainder of the joint to Tim. The choice in music was excellent, because after a long mellow song it hits you with the victory celebrations, which was intense. The joint had put me back up. I closed my eyes and listened to the song, as it was playing the only thing I could think of was the way the songs made me feel like I was on a roller coaster. Then I started seeing the track in front of me and my body felt like it was being thrown about the place. As the song is one of these songs that just seem to be building to something it got harder and faster, as did the roller coaster ride. I told Tim these this and he also started to experience something similar. Then after a while the effect changed, instead of a roller coaster the intense songs seemed to be ripping my body to pieces and the mellow tune was where my body got re-built.

By now I thought I had felt the most intense part of the trip (I was soon mistaken) because the joint had just put me back up and I started to feel at peace with everything and everyone. I soon found that I was molding with the bed and it was melting in to the floor, everything had change from see my life to seeing nothing at all and just feeling calm and a peace. I found at this point a grasp on life. I found the human life is pointless. All we do is try and kill everything else and ourselves at the same time, then just to aspire to an old frail individual who shits and craps everywhere, only after suffering a life (s)he dies. I found my thought around life quite reveling and the thought on death was next, I feel now at this point in time I have no fear of death itself. I believe that when I die how will I know I have died, or even existed, I don’t. So to fear this is stupid. I think I fear the point the concept of dieing in pain.

All these thoughts were too intense for me so we changed music to Jamiroquai. Tim was enjoying the change in music, but I, on the other hand was not, every note in the tunes were spiking me in the gut, it was as if I was the bed and someone was jumping up and down on me. But I could not move to stop it, Tim was to fucked to be moving anywhere. After a while I think the music was changed and I started to relax again. I then all I could see was the way the roof moved as if it was breathing with me. I was now experiencing all the weaker lower states of my trip. I had now come down, I began to start smoking again and had virtually drained my supply gear so I closed my eyes to allow the last of my effects to occur.

The next thing I can remember is waking up for the next day starting it with a nice shower and a couple of tutes and joints, and also a burger king.

When I go back to Holland in the Spring/summer I don’t know whether I will do mushrooms, I probably will but I have my doubts. I don’t know if I really want to experience something that intense again. But I am always saying I will give up smoking but that still hasn’t happened. If I was to do them again I would prefer a lower level of trip.