Ocean goddes

Firstow i must give you some personal information about myself. I am a sixteen year old female drop out, from the outside one may think " Oh dear" but i am truly a lover of spiritual growth. I am terrible at spelling and don't see anything wrong with it. My first trip happend to be a level 5 but a negative one, there were tons of people and mopeds vrooming and fires crackling, i can't say wether this was appreciated or not but it defenately changed my well being eternaly. After that night of death i triped 16 times in a few months, basicly throwing myself into a category of mental insanity. I apreciated my state, because i could look at anything and make it move, but for my family and such, it wasn't easy being around me. So anyways, here i am in sunny california, over it, lost my ego, feelin good, ready for a nice one.

In my previous experiances, i would go through long periods of silence that my boyfriend didn't enjoy ( i see absolutely nothing wrong with this) So i grab the strongest chocolate mushroom (1/8) known to man kind and treck down to the laguna beach ocean. I wouldn't recomend this situation to a new commer, but to one who is experianced and okay with flying off to jupiter, this is extremely recomended. I found this awsome rocky boulder right on the water (waves crashing and everything) First i only took half of the scrumpshious yummy and started unnesesarily scratching my face after only 10 minutes. You know what i'm talking about if you'v experianced this. You get some sort of impulse to touch your body, scrapping roughly on my belly leaving red marks for days and that sort of thing. Well anyways, i was convinced it wasn't working because i was talking to some man with a dog for about 20 minutes so i shoved the rest down. WOW!!!! i had all controll yet at the same time, no controll, you cannot give words to this experiance but i'll try. I would just focus on important issues in my life and analyse them sooo deeply, i came to all sorts of conclusions. Like it's okay to die, and not only that i got the hint that i experianced some further sate of awareness like one would if they were dead. Were you have no body but you feel more alive really then ever,like every person that walked by, ever wave, every inch of the earth was in my vision. and not only in my vision, but within my ability so understand. now to the visual aspect. The waves....the waves, they were amazing but the even cooler thing was that i desided what they were, they were hound dogs, heh. The white part of the waves were bubbling dogs, then horses, jumpinging at me as if trying to touch me. So then ofcourse i think to myself " GO touch the hound dogs!" of course...good idea. so i smoked a bowl instead realizing that that was a foolish thought. (keep in mind this is a fully public beach, and there was some guy fully tripping on acid on the next beahc and we would look at eachother and connect or something, it was weird) anyways one more thing about the rock area. At this point i was so far away from any thing related to reality. I had conversations with the beatles and asked them out loud what they meant by "lucy in the sky with diamonds" paul said "Swible doble?" then i said "im going to sleep" heh im telling you this is what happens when you go out to the core of existance(nature) it calls out to you so clearly, you think you are nature. the ground turned into layers of mountains, with green moss, and the layers were swinging back and forth. Then an acual bright red crab pocked up from a crack and i focused on it's pinchers for a while, i thought i was talking to it telapathicaly (just a note im not acualy crazy this is just the insanity level of my experiance)i would tell it i was scared of it and move my finger, then he would scury behind a rock (this acualy happened, quite cool really) So after i got over the crab i looked back at the ocean and i visioned it further then i could see, i forced myself to look further then what was really there and i took myself all the way around the globe then ended back at me, on the rock. Just chillin.
i wish i could find the words to explain the state of tripping this hard, nothing explains it but the experiance, so if your up for it, if your experianced, fucking go to a rock on the ocean, acave in the mountains, a prairy in iowa(where i came from) by yourself just once, you really get to focus on you more than you can if others are around to distract you. No worries, no schedual, no time. Just a nice little exurtion into the complications of one's self. and keep in mind that if you want to understand others, and the world and the univers, all you have to do is discover you, because were all the same thing:o)