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HOLY SHIT!!!

HOLY SHIT!



HOLY SHIT!!! I just recovered from a bad after-trip and what seems like an anxiety/panic attack that lasted 3 days!! Yes, three days! I literally felt as though my mind was separated from my body. Read on to experience my bad experience...
(Sorry it's so long, but it's such a bad trip that I had to recount all of the experiences from it)
This is the stuff that happened to me within 2 weeks of my trip...
* Got cheated out of nearly $200 of weed from your 'best friends'
* Had finals the week I tripped
* Mom bitching at me constantly and trying to recover from her alcoholism
Now, if you're going to trip, make sure that these ARE NOT happening to you!Now, here's the trip....
I planned to trip on Friday with some of my friends. It was Monday, and I was pretty excited and awaiting the end of the week. Anyways, I was counting out the shrooms I had, since I had previously agreed to sell one of my other friends 2/3 of the bag that I got for a KILLER price. While taking the shrooms out of the bag and counting them, a lot of the shake from the bottom of the bag fell onto the table. I decided that I'd just mix that shake into some orange juice and drink it down. I had about 1 gram (maybe more) of shake.
Before I go on, I must tell you that I must be VERY sensitive to the psychoactive ingrediants in shrooms. Before this, I've only tripped once, but I forgot the dosage I used and most of the entire experience since i was so stoned. WHen i mixed the 'shroom shake' I thought I'd only get a slight buzz/trip, but that's it. I didn't realize how sensitive I was to shrooms....ANyways, I didn't feel anything then. I felt fine, and decided to go to sleep after 2 hours of drinking the shake. I thought I didn't have enough. So the next day after school I smoked a bowl of weed and started feeling high. I closed my eyes, and listened to some music that I had downloaded. Then, the trip kicked in... Before I realized it, my mind was thinking about all sorts of messed up shit. LIke, I was thinking of all these colors and about just living in a different country. Then, it came to me that I was tripping! I started feeling very tripped out and prepared for a good trip.
I looked at some trippy pics on the net and listened to what has to be THE trippiest song I ever downloaded off Kazaa, "Trance on Ecstasy". I stared seeing things move and thought that I had entered the cartoonish world of the show I was watching on Cartoon Network. Then, I started thinking of some really messsed up stuff. First of all, in this 'trance on ecstasy' song, it repeats the world Ecstasy like 100 times (literally). Every time it said that word, my eyes darted around my basement to each object (the couch, the phone wires, the CD cases, the printer, the Xbox, the pillows) and I thought that they were all saying Ecstasy.
Then, I had this vision that Ecstasy was this 'mind control ' drug that controls people's lives when you take it. Like, you'll be seeing the "ecstasy gods" (or so I thought) when you use X. I also thought that it would eventually 'warp' you into the mind world of X and keep you there forever. Then, I thought that governments were the worst thing ever made. I remember seeing the future, where nuclear war destroyed most things and people lived on the verge of extinction. I stared listening to music by Pink, especially Family POrtrait, and I thought of how it was kinda sad that people were going to die out, even though they tried so hard to succeed. After listening to "fuck the police" by NWA and thinking one side of my room was the cops, and the other side the normal people, and thinking that my Rollar Coaster Tycoon 2 was rapping the whole song, I went to sleep.
I woke up feeling fine. I had thought that trip had left me. I went to school on wednesday and felt good. I think I did fine on my finals too. I finally went home and went on my computer once i got there. Then, I thought back on what had happened today, when i remembered something -- I had school!!!! I honest to God thought tath I had not went to school, since the only memories I have of school were a big blur, full of many images. I started to freak out and IM my friends, asking them if I was in school. They told me I was, but I still didn't really remember it. I decided to smoke a bowl to feel better then.
After I smoked, I started to feel worse! I stared shaking and didn't feel right. I thought my heart was pumping in irregular, SUPER-FAST beats! I posted on various online drug forums for advice, and found out that I was probably having an anxiety/panic attack, or something like that. Also, I kept thinking of how I got ripped off of $200 worth of weed. It was complete hell, but I finally fell asleep.
I woke up the next day thinking I was fine again. I thought that bad trip had ended. i went to school again and thought I did good on my finals. I went home and the same thing happened -- I forgot I went to school!!! Remember, i wasn't smoking or shrooming, i was completely normal when I realized this!! Again, I stared freaking out and the same cycle occured: I'd start shaking and think of bad experiences that were happening. I started smoking more weed and felt a little better for a short period of time. However, the forgetfullness feeling came back and I started freaking out again.
But this time every time I tried to go to sleep, my mind drifted off into my past, and into events I did in the past. I thought of my vacation to Poland that I took about half a year ago, and about my sister's little-league baseball games, and about other things which I can't rememebr. I also remember my mind 'moving' around the house. Even though my body was in the basement trying to sleep, I could only concentrate on where my mind was taking me. My mind was making me go under the couch, look out the window, hear sounds, and think about other things. This lasted for what seemed like HOURS, even though it was probably less than that.
I finally went to sleep and woke up feeling a little scared. What would happen if I felt fucked up again!? what if I forgot what happened today when I think about my dad? I started to kinda get scared, until I realized that my mind was with me, and not wandering around. I felt relieved, and this was the 1st time that I felt as though I was better.
I breathed a sigh of relief and continued my day as normal playing video games and watcing T.V. (were were off school).
From now on, whenever I use psychadelics, I AM NOT, I AM NOT going to use them if I have had fucked up things happen to me before hand -- IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!!

High Mountain Compost
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