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Never Foget The Chaos

I have taken mushrooms twice before.

I have taken mushrooms twice before. The first time was amazing and so was the second, except the second had a bad ending in which I passed out and had a slite seizure for a few seconds according to my friends. I attributed that to me being on accutane(dermotologist drug for acne), smoking way too much, and not drinkin anything. When I did pass out however all I saw was black with a white line that seemed to grow into a larger light and I could hear my friends muffled voices, then I woke up. Anyway that was like two years ago. On this past Saturday June 12, 2004 I took them again. This time with alot of people almost like a shroom party. I ate three caps and stems and I couldnt tell you what kind it was. Besides myself there were 8 others shrooming and 4 sober. About 4 of us eventually threw up and 2 said they needed to go to the hospital. At first it was fun and reminded me of times past. My friends car turned blue and had streaks on the end of it and things would shrink and grow a little. The ground started pulsing as if it had veins and the trees at the park where tilting inwards like an upside down "V" shape. I felt odd so I asked my girl friend who was also shrooming to go for a walk. I took no more than 10 steps and I paniced because it felt like i fell through a huge whole and kept falling. I got hot flashes and ran back to the house saying I was gunna pass out. I felt my limbs suddenly go numb and return to normal and go numb again. I felt as if I was being shocked or fryed like I had stuck my fingers in electrical sockets. For the next four hours my visuals were insane. Everything was morphing moving or breathing. My sense of touch was destroyed and nothing felt like it should. There were random color flashes everywhere like I had Predator vision. Lights appear out of nowhere like christmas lights and I started seeing grids(something like line graphs)of color that would dart across the room. As for my mind...total chaos. I lost all sense of reality and thought it would never end and I was already dead. I had crazy thoughts I couldnt controll for instance runing around amelesly, twicthing, or hitting myself.(i did none however)I figured I had to keep thinking about things or Id pass out and fall into a coma because my brain has been duped into thinking I was a vegetable. Then five hours later my mental catastrophy lifted back into thinking normal out of know where and I enjoyed the same visuals and body high without the madness of going insane before. I even felt God like or all knowing and wise and that my brain was superior for survivng and not giving in. I was alone with my girlfriend(who was relieved i was alright and alive)I explained to her that we are all batteries and when we die we fizzle out and dont exist anymore there is no heaven or hell or being at all because for all we know we were never there to begin with. I say this because I felt the shroom is a poison then speeds up the death process for a few hours. It destroys our brain and nerves which is why we see colors and things that arent there. Our brain gives off electro magnetic waves and I felt as if I was being shocked and distored like my waves were shutting down. Which is what I expect to feel again before my life ends. Today is now June 15, 2004 and I have trouble sleeping and cant stop thinking about this horrid nightmare I went through....I even got an anxiety attack yesterday at dinner and I have never suffered from that. Infact while I wrote this report I was breathing heavy and shaking a bit from the memories of a few nights ago. I hope it ends soon and I want to learn as much about shrooms as one could know.

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