NEVER again

I would like to talk about a Psilocybin experience I embarked upon, on a Friday night (4-14-00). I started off the warm afternoon outside in my backyard, with a small glass of red wine, which I drink strictly for medicinal purposes. I don’t know what hadcome over me, but I felt I needed to get higher than I’ve ever been. I wanted to shroom, but I didn’t want to cut into my mushroom stash. I wish I could stop using this drug for the wrong reasons. Usually I feel mushrooms should be used to bring your minds
frequency into adjustment, but I just wanted to get wasted tonight. I went up into my room around 4 p.m., and took eleven mycelium cakes out of my aquarium, which had only
finished their first flush. Many of them had been hit with a horrid green mold, that seemed to return within a day after I cut off the infected sections. After I took the cakes off, I scraped off the aborts, perlite,vermiculite, and threw the cakes in front of a fan for a few hours. They were mostly dried within a matter of hours. By 8 p.m. I checked up on the cakes, which had stained twenty shades of blue. For a little background information, the mycelium cakes were a third generation hybrid of the Psilocybe Cambodian and Ecuadorian strain (both grow synergistically, very good). Around 8:15, I took the mound of cakes,crushed them up, and threw them into the blender. I added 100% vitamin CCranGrape Juice, and blended the concoction. I did this three times, until all of the cakes had been blended. By the time I had blended and strained, I was left with two large glasses of white foamy Juice. Around 8:20 I drank the solution, expecting a very intense trip. For about twenty minutes, I was enjoying the crude alcoholic high, which was becoming tiresome. At 8:45 I first noticed the effects of the cakes. There was a heightened awareness of my surroundings, and a powerful tingly wave of energy pulsating and massaging through my head. All of my trips start out with a tingly feeling in the back of my head. The feeling is similar to massaging your scalp with your hands, and allowing the blood to circulate throughout it. Around 9 p.m., I was starting to trip INTENSLY. I started feeling very sick, and went into the bathroom to check my pupils. Of course they were extremely dilated, and the fact that they kept flickering back and forth in the mirror didn’t help. I felt like hell, so I whipped out the Peptal Bismal, and downed a few swigs. I stood up for a minute, starting to feel my mouth salivate, getting ready to puke my guts up. I talked quietly to myself, trying to calm down taking deep breaths, which helped control the nausea. I quietly walked back to my room, trying not to disturb the other people in the household. I felt my coordination give way, walking back to my bed in what looked like a drunken stupor. I than lied down on my bed, and looked up at the popcorn ceiling. The entire ceiling was engulfed in swirling vortexes, patterns, and deep waves of red and blue pixels; exploding and reforming in front of my face. My head felt amazing, I could feel every vein in my head, pulsating and vibrating with blood. I started to get really paranoid, I never tripped this hard in my life, and it scared the me to death. The nausea was persisting, and I started to feel a loud rumble in my gut. I could feel a ticking timebomb in my stomach, waiting to explode with puke, like a smoking volcano. If there’s anything I hate its puking, and I was determined to hold it down. I started practicing deep breathing techniques, which helped immensely. This cycle was going on until around 9:30, when it really started to get weird. I had this distinct cough, that wouldn’t go away. I would cough, like there was a peace of food lodged inside my throat. My brain must have thought I was choking to death. Every time I coughed I thought I was going to go into epileptic seizure, like my tongue was caught in my throat. I really started to loose it. I started squirming around on my bed like a little helpless worm. Soon I lost my vision, and standing up was out of the question. The only thing I could see was the pale white blur that shadowed over whatever was vaguely visible. I started to think I was going to die, I panicked. I kept telling myself that you can’t die from Psilocybin, but I was convinced. I took my hand and placed it over my chest. My heart was beating erratically, and every now and again it felt like it would skip a beat, than suddenly stop. After what seemed like a nightmarish eternity, I closed my eyes and just sort of lied there. I thought I was about to die, I couldn’t feel my heartbeat, move, or see anything but black and white blurs. The next hour was an eternity, that I found myself trapped in. This must somehow be punishment for abusing the fungus, or maybe Gods way of getting back at me for my life’s evil deeds. The devil was teasing me with death all night. I know now what cereal killers must get off on from tormenting their victims. That hour was pure hell, heaven, and everything in-between. I wish there were enough words in the dictionary to describe what I had gone through in that hour. It felt almost identical to what I would call the longest naturally sublime DMT trip I could ever envision. The universe was gone, and unlike some of my powerful 5-meo or regular DMT trips, the experience was SO long. I truly thought the only word in the dictionary that could describe this state was “nothing.” After that hour, the first thing I can recall opening my eyes toward was the clock. 12:36, I’ll never forget that red glow of neon beauty sitting one foot away from me. I was still alive, more importantly the time had assured my questionable existence up until that very second in my life. The next few hours, I rolled back and forth on my bed, trying to force myself to fall asleep. It was amazing how quickly the drug crept up on me than subsided. Throughout the next hour, I would feel the DMT type experience make an effort to reemerge a half dozen times. But right before I started to break through, within a few seconds I was back to baseline. It was like ridding a roller coaster, my brain couldn’t decide what place it was on the track. Finally I fell asleep, sometime after 1:30 a.m. When I awoke the next morning around 11 a.m., I could still feel a distinctive cloudy haze over my brain. This feeling persisted until around 4:20 (Hmm?) when I went to go see American Psycho. The movie seemed more entangling, and I was really able to connect with it on a more analytical level. After the movie was over, I went home and started typing this report for no apparent reason. I guess I want to confirm that yes, mycelium cakes do in fact work, if you use 1) Grape Juice 2) Cranberry Juice 3) or anything in-between, that has 100% Vitamin C. Orange juice has never worked with me, so it may be something else. As for anyone who wishes to sacrifice anything over 10 cakes, I highly discourage it. This experience was a lesson to never underestimate the fungus. I don’t think I will shroom again for at least a week and a half because of this experience. And I never plan on taking more than 14 grams of shrooms, or 8 mycelium cakes ever again. I truly think that I have somehow changed my brain waves as a result of this experience. I don’t know what this large Psilocybin dosage has done to me, or why it has done it, I only know that it has done it. I suppose once again I’ll have to rely on that clock to tell me where it has yet to take me.