My spirit walk

This trip took place after about 2 days of sleep deprivation. With college stuff (papers, exams, etc) filling up my time, I'd had to pull a few all nighters with almost no sleep.

After my first successful grow of P. Cubensis: Ban Hua Thanon strain, I was eagerly awaiting the full drying of my first flush. As I was growing them with 2 other people (we all wanted to learn), they decided to try them the first night we had free. For the rest of this report, we'll call them Space Monkey #1, and Space Monkey #2 (for those who aren't familiar, space monkeys were monkeys shot by NASA and Russia into space to make sure it was safe for humans).

So, I got back from my classes for the evening, and SM#1 enters my room, and asks if the mushrooms are done drying. I say "for the most part," and he says that he wants to give them a try to make sure they're OK (hence the space monkey part). So, he gets himself about 4 grams of semi-dry mushrooms, and eats them with some orange juice. Space monkey #2 arrives and finds out what has occurred, and also decides to try. Being the daring space monkey, he doses out about 6 grams, and eats them. I opt to be their sitter for the night - at least until our other roommate gets home.

So we sit and talk, listen to some music, etc. About a half hour later the space monkeys report that they're seeing the room closing in, and then expanding, as if to match their breathing. By this time our other roommate arrived, and i decided I would take the plunge. Being the one who put in the most effort, and lacking any real experience in a "heavy" trip, I opted to try about 12 grams. We sat, relaxed, and eventually chose to smoke a joint outside. The space monkeys were having an amazing time, great visuals, etc. I on the other hand, was getting nothing. We ended up visiting 2 friends houses (walking, not driving), and then settled in to watch the wall. This is about 4 hours from my initial dose, and the space monkey's ignition.

We sat and started watching The Wall (the Pink Floyd movie). I was beginning to get frustrated. I had gone 4 hours with nothing - not even a mild visual - and any relaxing feeling I would have had was masked by the pot. I was about to call it a night, when I started looking at the movie. The war scene is the first part I really remember. I was a soldier. I was in the war next to the father when he dies. I became the main character. It was intense!

My mind began working a million miles an hour. I started thinking, and experiencing thoughts faster than i would've ever thought possible. It was as if I was still sober, but having amazing daydreams that would suck me under like undertow in the ocean. I started thinking about problems I had in life. I realized how I overeat (I'm a bit tubby), and how when I was growing up my parents were never ever around - except when we sat down for family dinners. I was eating to try to get their attention, because I never had it as a child.

I started thinking about my birthrights. I'm native American, and I'll never be allowed to legally spirit walk, because of the nation of European white men that still say my culture is wrong (not meant to offend anyone, in the least, I promise). The trip became my spirit walk. The voice told me that. I started asking the strange voice that I heard in front of me all of my questions about life, and it responded not by talking, but by painting pictures in my mind. It was like I was conversing with god.

Around this time, SM#1 and SM#2 tapped me on the cheek to make sure I was OK which kind of dazzled me. I couldn't tell if I'd been sleeping, or awake. I didn't know. I walked back to my room, locked the door, and sat down on my futon with a piece of paper and began free writing. About a minute later, I closed my eyes, and the voice returned. We began talking, and I wrote everything.

I woke up the next morning naked in my bed. I felt so alive - as if everything in my life had a whole new meaning. It was only after discussing it with the space monkeys that some of the things in the free writing made sense. I was naked. I had gone days without sleep (both common in native American spirit walks). In spirit walks, the young man would venture out, until he had hallucinations induced by either fatigue, or psychoactives - these hallucinations would help answer his questions, and guide his life. That was what happened for me.

The experience was the closest as I can ever come to talking to god. Just thinking back to that night almost brings tears to my eyes. I've done more than my share of substances in my life, but that night changed everything. I've never had a more beautiful experience, ever.